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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How hurt (if at all) would you be if someone you were fairly close to told you they were pregnant and the due date was your wedding date (which had been booked for 2 years)?

134 replies

GirlsAreLOud · 16/09/2009 13:47

?

OP posts:
ThingumyandBob · 17/09/2009 10:50

If I was the groom and the person ?close to me? was the bride was likely to drop on the day then yes!! other than that no way?

Mother Nature rules, even over your wedding day (be nice to her, even after two years notice she might forget and let it rain!)

I have been given a family wedding date for 2 years time?..I am going to try not to be pregnant, but I?m the wrong side of 30, so I can?t afford to miss my slot I?m afraid! Selfish perhaps, but I have a couple of friends who are desperate to get pregnant their hurt if far greater than a friend being 9 months pregnant on their wedding day.

Don?t give yourself a hard time though, weddings send the best of us a little crazed at times?..enjoy your day, but don?t forget to fit her in if she has to miss the wedding, she will probably be gutted to miss your day.

mumeeee · 17/09/2009 10:55

I wouldn't be hurt at all and would congratulate my friend.. You can't always paln a pregnancy.

echofalls · 17/09/2009 10:56

i was a pregnant bridesmaid only 14 weeks, mind you the bride was also pregnant 8 weeks as someone else said sometimes pregnancies can't be planned.

I wouldn't be hurt at all.

Stephief · 17/09/2009 11:01

I dont see the issue here.

My youngest childs due date was 2 days before my best friends wedding day. She didnt care, why would she? As it was baby was late, I was huge and so we were at the wedding anyway (albeit uncomfortable and waddling, it was summer, very hot!)

How odd to be annoyed by it? Its a baby, its wonderful news, go congratulate her!

littleducks · 17/09/2009 11:02

I planned my pregnancies, something which never seems to be approved to mention on here, i had one when i knew sil was pg as i thought it would be nice to have cousins close in age, i also didnt want summer babies or babies born at a busy time of year for us

So i did consult my diary carefully but tbh i didnt even consider worrying about anyone elses

Good luck

cheesesarnie · 17/09/2009 11:05

girlsareloud-you worry to much!!goodluck ttc!

cheesesarnie · 17/09/2009 11:06

btw none of mine were on time.dd was 1 week late,both ds were 3 weeks early.

GirlsAreLOud · 17/09/2009 11:07

Thanks cheesesarnie.

I'm not actually sitting here worrying though. It's just that I don't feel a desperate NEED to ttc this month, we're not in a rush, just wondered if she was likely to be hurt by it. Thinking about it though, I am actually more worried about missing out on going to the wedding myself. So....

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 17/09/2009 11:08

pg and weddings are both wonderful events

a pg wont detract from anyone's wedding

GirlsAreLOud · 17/09/2009 11:10

Sorry for shouting but I think a lot of people have missed the bit where I said:

THE WEDDING IS 200 MILES AWAY. So all the can still go if early/late comments don't really apply.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 17/09/2009 11:20

My due date was 2 weeks after my brother's wedding, 400 miles away. I didn't go, mainly because I couldn't face an 8 hour drive. Just as well as DS was very nearly 2 weeks early. And after several hundred years of his family being Yorkshire born and bred, DH would have been devastated if DS had been Cornish!

Anyway. My brother sulked, and told me I was being selfish. His wife understood though (she has a child herself) and sent us a huge box of lovely baby clothes - an outfit per season for a year. And accesories.

thatsnotmymonster · 17/09/2009 11:36

Wow can't believe how rude and aggressive a lot of the responses on here are!

To the op- I think the general consensus is that she shouldn't mind. It is very considerate of you to be thinking about it tho!

My SIL and BIL only came to our wedding for a couple of hours (they flew to Scotland from Down South) because they didn't want to bring their 9mo baby and didn't want to leave her overnight with her GPs. I thought that was a bit odd and most of the family were sad because they wanted to see the baby!

xmasfairy · 17/09/2009 11:58

I was going to be bridesmaid at my best friends wedding, fell pregnant after trying for ages and she told me she didn't want me to be bridesmaid anymore as I wouldn't look right in the photos!

pooka · 17/09/2009 11:59

Good lord - I would not be hurt at all!

blueduck · 17/09/2009 21:17

Good Lord ! What ???

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 17/09/2009 21:32

DHs niece was 4 days old at our wedding,
I think someone would have to be a bit mad to get upset about someone having a baby at the same time as a wedding, as long as you are not meant to be a bridesmaid I don't see why it should be a problem

spiralqueen · 17/09/2009 21:53

Girlsareloud only a bridezilla would get the hump. I suspect more brides might be upset at having a tiny baby at the wedding as they tend to draw some of the attention away from the bride and that seems to be a big no-no in many brides books.

Have you posted your query on a wedding site? I suspect the responses might be quite different

cornflakegirl · 17/09/2009 22:11

I did actually put TTC on hold when my BF announced that she was getting married in 9 months. But, as GAL has said, that was more because I wanted to be there than because I thought she would be upset. We'd only been married a couple of months at that point, and had only just started trying, so it really wasn't a big thing to delay.

bruffin · 17/09/2009 22:26

My sister got pregnant a month after I anounced my wedding and she was supposed to be a bridesmaid. Her due date was within a two weeks of the wedding but she was 2 weeks early and my lovely little niece was 4 weeks old. My sister wasn't my bridesmaid but I wasn't bothered.

Rollmops · 17/09/2009 22:52

This certainly takes the Utterly Ridiculous OP award of the year.... [rolls eyes]
You simply can not be serious.

Longtalljosie · 18/09/2009 08:10

I do wish people would read the whole thread properly... The OP is worried about upsetting her cousin, not her own wedding...

scottishmummy · 18/09/2009 14:27

post on AIBU and people will skim read and pile in

that is the way it is

thesecondcoming · 18/09/2009 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GirlsAreLOud · 18/09/2009 17:25

I'm loving the fact that to some posters I'm now always going to be the OP who got cross that someonne's due date coincided with my wedding date

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 18/09/2009 17:32

GAL Do you mind missing the wedding? If it's something you really want to go to then I might consider holding off this month. If you're not really bothered then go ahead.