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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How hurt (if at all) would you be if someone you were fairly close to told you they were pregnant and the due date was your wedding date (which had been booked for 2 years)?

134 replies

GirlsAreLOud · 16/09/2009 13:47

?

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlsAreLOud · 16/09/2009 13:53

Ok.

Thanks.

No I'm not getting married. Nor am I pregnant.

But we are ttcing at the moment and getting pg this month would mean I was due on my cousin's wedding day. So just wondered if I should consider that or not.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 16/09/2009 13:53

OK everyone, let's give the OP a chance to come back and explain herself

Pepa · 16/09/2009 13:53

Not hurt at all just pleased for my friend.
'Tis life right - you can't plan everything - I just wouldn't have her as maid of honour

Scorps · 16/09/2009 13:54

You should carry on. If anything, if you're very heavy pg it will give you something else to focus on

flowerybeanbag · 16/09/2009 13:54

Why would anyone be hurt by this? Surely no one expects any friend of theirs who is ttc to put it on hold for a couple of months in case they conceive during that time and in case the due date is inconvenient for a wedding?

Or am I being naive thinking surely no one is that bonkers?

pagwatch · 16/09/2009 13:54

I think it is a lazy ass AIBU by stealth designed to get huge response so that OP can go 'tada - I am pregnant and my friend is the arsy one'

StealthPolarBear · 16/09/2009 13:54

exactly, or you'll have a cute little newborn.
We went to DH's cousin's wedding when DS was 10 days old

belgo · 16/09/2009 13:55

I did this to a friend of mine. Got pregnant so that my due date fell almost exactly on her wedding date (obviously not deliberately!)

I was more annoyed with myself because I did really want to go to her wedding. I got over it. Sher had a lovely wedding day, and I got to see the photos.

Original poster
GirlsAreLOud · 16/09/2009 13:55

If I did get pregnant though I'd definitely miss the wedding though, it's 200 miles away.

OP posts:
50ftQueenie · 16/09/2009 13:55

Phew!

honeybehappy · 16/09/2009 13:55

just carry on with your plans is your cousin a bridezilla?

throckenholt · 16/09/2009 13:55

not something anyone could have planned so I would not be upset. I would be disappointed that they would likely not be there at the wedding - but that is all.

As for considering your cousins wedding - no - you have to live your own life - don't hold it up for something so relatively unimportant to you personally.

Sassybeast · 16/09/2009 13:55

Wouldn't be in any way annotyed and would just hope that her waters didn't break in church

StillSquiffy · 16/09/2009 13:55

Hurt?

But you aren't a troll. You are not allowed to be a normal poster and ask a daft question. Says so in the rules (pg 3, section 12). 'Daft Question' exceptions are only allowed if it is your first baby/PG.

twirlymum · 16/09/2009 13:56

I was a bridesmaid when I was 8months pregnant. I offered to back out (hoping she would accept) but she insisted I was still there. Horrid satin dress, and I looked like the big thing (princess?) in fraggle rock.

5inthebed · 16/09/2009 13:56

My friend was due her first baby the day after her SIL was getting married. No malice felt. She was actually in labour on the wedding day and had her baby on the due date.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 16/09/2009 13:56

No, you can't plan stuff like that, you could get pg next month and deliver a month early, you could get pg with triplets in two months and be confined to bedrest on the date of the wedding etc etc.

Original poster
GirlsAreLOud · 16/09/2009 13:56

Sorry squiffy, not first baby

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlsAreLOud · 16/09/2009 13:57

WTWTW, that's a really good point.

OP posts:
Bucharest · 16/09/2009 13:58

How many babies are born on due dates anyway????

ruddynorah · 16/09/2009 13:58

i have a friend who's due her first baby the week of her brother's wedding. problem being... he's getting married in australia, and she's here in the uk. her mum and dad are all booked to go to australia

Tambajam · 16/09/2009 13:58

Are you kidding?
So someone isn't allowed to get pregnant and has to stop TTCing so that they don't end up with a due date near someone's wedding!!!!

I am hoping you are the pregnant person who is nervous about her engaged friend's reaction and not some loony bride-to-be! If you are the pregnant person and your friend has reacted badly she is off her rocker and you really shouldn't feel badly.

If you are the bride-to-be, you may feel miffed for 20 mins as you visualized your friend there but GET OVER IT and be happy for her.

posieparker · 16/09/2009 14:00

Go for it, anyone with a soul would be happy for you.

Portofino · 16/09/2009 14:01

My sister was born the day before my aunt's wedding. The bride and groom stopped off at the hospital for a visit before the reception and there are some lovely photos. You can of course the imagine the comments made when she turned up at the Maternity unit in her wedding dress!

grumblinalong · 16/09/2009 14:02

Why are you worrying about this? Worry about ttc and growing a baby and put what other people think of you on the backburner eh? I think my attitude to conceiving is a bit lax, I didn't know you could work out exactly when you're due before you even got pregnant!