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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So does anyone else find the term 'artificial feeding' in relation to the use of formula milk a bit irritating?

416 replies

bangandthedirtisgone · 15/09/2009 19:22

Or is it just me?

OP posts:
GirlsAreLOud · 16/09/2009 17:29

.

noddyholder · 16/09/2009 17:32

2shoes I agree its a horrid term.I think you and I have probably seen enough true artificial feeding in our time to find this term horrible

scaryteacher · 16/09/2009 17:42

Sabire, [Ah yes - the 'bf nazi', or 'bf militia', who slings her tits all over the place while bf her 6 year old twins whilst simultaneously casting the evil eye at any mother who dares to get a bottle out for her baby.]

You have obviously been to the village I lived in in Cornwall, and have met the lady in question, except she had the baby and a three year old.

The reason, Princess Pea Head that I used the language I did (and it was not disgusting, I can supply that should you wish), is that it got to the point that I would hide when I saw these ladies walking down the street, as I knew the topic of conversation would be 'have you decided yet to bf'. This, over a period of about 7 months got very wearing. I used the term mafia, because if you disagree with them something bad happens. That is how I felt with those two. I also used the term evangelical, so you could have chosen either word.

I don't know how you feel if every time you say you are thinking about doing 'x', only to be told that you are daft, and you MUST do 'y'. Back in 1995 when I was pregnant, there wasn't a huge amount of information given out; only rather dogmatic advice. I dislike being told I HAVE to do something, without being given adequate reasons, so I didn't bf.

I find it sad that whilst women who ff are supportive of those who bf (as there are a variety of reasons why one can't bf), some of those who bf can't extend the same courtesy to those who make a different choice. Motherhood is hard enough surely without making other mums feel guilty for choices taken in the past, or choices they have to make now. A friend has just had a baby by donated sperm. I was supportive of her choice, just as I was of her choice to bf. What really irked me was that she too got all righteous about women who don't bf and had a dig at me for not bfing 13 years ago. That's why those of us who ff get cross.

You - I hope it all goes well with your daughter and I agree entirely with the last paragraph of your post.

pingapengin · 16/09/2009 17:45

Never heard the term before, and makes me think tube feeding rather than formula.

Sounds abit odd.

PuzzleRocks · 16/09/2009 17:48

good piece here

belgo · 16/09/2009 17:52

I would assume artificial feeding is feeding with a tube. I don't think ffing is artifical at all - formula milk is not artificial milk, it's real milk from a cow with bits added and taken away from it to make it as suitable as possible for a human baby. It is not artificial milk.

I think artificial feeding is not a nice way of describing a mother who is lovingly giving her baby a bottle of milk - in fact I would find it offensive.

I have never used the word 'kunstvoeding' used in Belgium is describe formula feeding. I've only ever heard 'fles voeding' - bottle feeding.

Portofino · 16/09/2009 17:59

Agree with pinga. I struggle to understand why bf mothers get so emotional about other people's choices. I am an intelligent person (I like to think) and I am fully aware that bf is "best", but when it came to the crunch I couldn't/didn't do it.

I had 3 weeks in total in hospital, a failed induction, 24 hours of contractions followed by a crash section. I was knackered, traumatised and received no support to feed on the ward, and no milk ever came in.

I was sick and tired of being prodded, poked and messed about with. One of the nurses eventually took my screaming baby away as I could barely move, fed her and settled her to sleep. I sent DH to buy bottles and we never looked back. The nurses never said anything, HV never said anything, was just happy that dd gained weight.

Personally I was just happy that we both survived the experience, and never gave a flying feck about it since. It wasn't "artificial", it was food my baby needed to thrive. I refuse to feel bad about that.

GreenMonkies · 16/09/2009 18:07

Formula is artificial, it's factually correct to call it that. Get over it!

Prunerz · 16/09/2009 18:08

GreenMonkies: hope you don't work in BF support!!

bibbitybobbityhat · 16/09/2009 18:09

Ooooooooh nice Green Monkies. What a lovely contribution to the thread that is.

Portofino · 16/09/2009 18:10

It might be factually correct to call formula artificial, but I really disagree with the term "artificial feeding".

belgo · 16/09/2009 18:23

Total disagree that formula milk is articial. Of course it's not. It's main componant is real milk, from a cow, made suitable for a baby.

belgo · 16/09/2009 18:26

Now if you were feeding your baby cola from a bottle (I've seen that!), now that could be called artificial feeding.

hunkermunker · 16/09/2009 18:40

Portofino, you say, "I struggle to understand why bf mothers get so emotional about other people's choices."

And then you go on to describe something that totally WASN'T your choice. That's why I get emotional about it - because so many women have their choice made for them by lack of care or informed support.

It makes me very angry, in fact, that more women don't get what really ought to be a basic human right - to have kind women helping them to establish breastfeeding in a relaxed atmosphere - if they are choosing to breastfeed, that is.

No beef whatsoever with women who don't choose to bf - would prefer that they made an informed decision, for their sake, rather than thinking they were choosing between two equal things, then being gutted they didn't do differently later on - have seen that quite a few times.

Because however loudly we say it doesn't matter, it really does, to women, to babies (and, in my more sweeping moments of emotion, to society at large!).

I'm so sorry you had such a poor experience and glad that you've come to terms with it.

DreamsInBinary · 16/09/2009 18:58

"I find it sad that whilst women who ff are supportive of those who bf (as there are a variety of reasons why one can't bf), some of those who bf can't extend the same courtesy to those who make a different choice"

Really ScaryTeacher? I have never seen any evidence of that, and here on MN it often seems to work the other way around.

scaryteacher · 16/09/2009 19:44

Read this thread and some others where it states that the posters can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to do their best for their baby by bfing, and in one thread, despite all manner of reasons being given for why someone didn't bf (being ill; baby being ill; inverted nipples; the lot) still continued to castigate those who ff.

I normally steer clear of these threads, but the artificial feeding comment irked me considerably. The NG tube that my ds had for the first 10 days of his life was artificial feeding. What was put down it was not.

you · 16/09/2009 19:56

I think it's quite rare actually that bf attack ffers on here and I've never seen it happen the other way around though I do believe bfers have more to contend with in RL.

MN is ridiculously (in a good way) pro bfing and provides amazing support for mums who are trying to breastfeed, and equally to mums who wanted to breastfeed but couldn't.

But Dreams, you are kidding yourself if you think it never happens. And it's always the same few posters and they always get shouted down by Tiktok et al. And I'm honestly shocked if you've never noticed the subtle sniping that occurs. But I've never really seen you posting on the feeding boards so maybe you sensibly stay away from there

LeonieSoSleepy · 16/09/2009 20:05

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BertieBotts · 16/09/2009 20:55

Some FFers do attack BFers though (not all of course, and it is a minority) - most commonly the older generation with undermining comments like "Are you sure your milk is strong enough?" or "Why don't you give him some real milk?" etc etc. But also comments like it's "Disgusting", "Perverted", "A bit creepy" or "Hippyish" (Not that there is anything wrong with being hippyish - but in this context it's meant negatively.)

you · 16/09/2009 20:58

I agree Bertie- that's what I meant by Real Life

Just saying I've never seen it on MN

brettgirl2 · 16/09/2009 21:04

I think there is some foul subtle sniping on MN FWIW.

Thankfully never an experience I've had in RL though!

Portofino · 16/09/2009 21:09

But hunker WHY are you upset about my dd being FF. I'm not upset about it. I took my dd home from the hospital and NEVER worried about it. She was fed, she put on weight. Sterilising bottles was a bit of a chore i'll admit. She's 5 now and is fine. I don't NEED you to be angry on my behalf. In some ways it is a bit patronising, though I KNOW you don't mean it like that.

I can't remember even thinking about it before dd was born. I certainly assumed that i would bf, and bought nothing beforehand. I vaguely remember thinking i'd buy a breastpump as and when i needed one.

This thread, and others of it's ilk are just implying that we have "failed" our babies in someway. I'm certain there are no longterm studies that show that people who are bf lead longer and healthier lives than those that aren't. I couldn't tell you if i was or not....

drainedbrain · 16/09/2009 21:11

YANBU

Just a bit of one upmanship by people who can't mind their own business and maybe a get a smug pleasure from polishing their "World's Best Mummy" Halo/Self-Awarded Trophy.

As an aside to those worrying earlier re health problems associated with them not having been breastfed, I was exclusively breastfed til 14months (is that the right term? obv I had food too though was weaned late and gradually!). and I have loads of health problems including Type 1 Diabetes. So sometimes it is just the luck of the draw, breastmilk is certainly "best" but it is not an magic elixir.

Would love to BF but can't due to medication passing into breastmilk, I don't think this means LOs are doomed to a life of ailments but no doubt some would say different.

LeonieSoSleepy · 16/09/2009 21:13

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you · 16/09/2009 21:17

A Dr Sears agent just accosted me when I left the page to ask me why I was leaving!!

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