To wish DH had given me a push present...?

[deliakate]

A small part of me feels aggrieved that he didn't. He used to be so generous.......

Agree its a horrible phrase I thought the op had made an error and mean't posh or plush, either way I was going to say YABU,
because I never expect anyone to buy me a present

I do think it's infantilising women. I know people will think it's an over-reaction BUT I think the pat-on-the-head patriarchal culture is as strong and proud as it ever was despite all the years that have passed since the women's movement started, and it really saddens me to see women complicit in it.

I am trying to think of examples - it's things like women having to ask permission to use joint money to get their hair cut, or slipping make-up into the supermarket shop so it won't be noticed, women still flirting as a means of getting ahead at work, still being content to be second-best.

Someone mentioned earlier the term brood mare - that's it. You're not there for the purposes of breeding. You, together, are parents. Thousands of women give birth every day. It's not easy, it hurts, it can ruin your body, but it's patronising to give a little gold star on a reward chart.

Well, apparently it is becoming more popular BUT in some poll, when women were asked only 55% said they would want one and 40% said the baby was present enough. If you think about it in terms of how many women would likely have answered 'yes' when asked 'do you want a present?' (i.e. just a present, not a push present) then it is quite a low percentage. It suggests to me that women are put off by the idea.

To be honest i thought most people got a little pressie from their DP after giving birth, im not saying diamonds just flowers, chocs that sort of thing - virtually everyone I know that has had a baby recently has a "Willow Tree" statue from their DP.

i got lovely pair of diamond earings after having DS1 and a lovely....err.. pack of chocolate biscuits with DS2.

Although if i have to confess given the choice Choccie bickies would win every time.

(just dont tell DH, he could have saved himslef alotta dosh!)

Actually DH did present me with a shiny, new electric fan to help reduce the pool of sweat I was forced to sit in on the ward.

Hospital wouldn't let him plug it in, but still, I bloody loved my (fanjo?) fan...

Somehow I don't think dp's marks and spencers sandwiches are going to cut it on this thread!

They were asked would you like a push present btw

And apart from that I find greed a really unattractive trait. And for someone to clothe their greed in the phrase "... and he used to be so generous" is beyond unattractive.

I like you demmit you are saying it all really

Demmit I think some of your examples are interesting. I can see your point but I think my DH would have been rather hurt if I'd told him to take back his anniversary gift because I found it patronising.

Damn I wish I hadn't opened this thread.
Didn't know what a push present was and really don't want to know about it now!!

What a fucking revolting, greedy, selfish, capitalist scumbag idea.

OP, maybe you could swop your newborn for a nice piece of jewellery on E-bay?

Cool, thanks everyone. I don't feel so bad now!!

It's not gifts that are patronising, it's the idea of your DH thanking you for 'giving' him a child!

Oh it's Henry viii's fault is it? Makes sense, wasn't it him who introduced lying down on a bed to give birth? It's all making sense now.

I haven't given dh a son yet, wonder what Henry would have him do about that.

I have an eternity gift all of my own to remind me of giving birth - every time I sneeze or bounce on a trampoline But yes - I qualify for a push present and a gash present.

I think the acronym would go something like OWYH, SoH

D'you know, all this talk of push presents has got me in the mood for buying myself something nice... I'm off to Links

Happy shopping Head

I think you may be right, last great bastion against inequality, disrespect and patriarchal values that he was.

in history kings used to build palaces for wives providing live (male) offspring.

the push present is nothing new.

maybe i could get a loft conversion out of then

Thanks wasabs flying the flag of feminism, I'm going to buy my own damn jewellery!

Well now we're talking! Palaces yes! If those are on offer I demand a push present. Itty bitty little pieces of sparkly stuff - no thanks (especially since DH's budget would dictate they came from Elizabeth Duke )

And the major push pressies were only for producing babies with penises. So those of you who only produced females, tough luck

Wooo hooo! I get a present for ds