To wish DH had given me a push present...?

[deliakate]

A small part of me feels aggrieved that he didn't. He used to be so generous.......

gagamama though I am totally against this pushpresent/one hand in my pocket/the other one patting you on the rump and sending you on your way thing I think what your dp did sounds very sweet and celebratory and significant.

This thread asks AIBU to wish DH had given me a push present? My answer to this is yes YABU and greedy and all the rest, see earlier, but that doesn't mean I think all presents are wrong and infantilising. It's the exchange that is wrong. The bartering, as someone said. It gives me the creeps.

I mean have some self-respect. It's the whining, too - but I did this! I deserve recognition! Look what I did for him. Look what I put myself through. I sacrificed my body for nine months. I opened it up to give birth. Whine, whine.

You both wanted a baby. It's necessary for the woman to bear the baby. That is how it works.

Push present my arse.

actually i deserved a diamond for hte enormous poo i managed to push out 5 days after the event

It probably felt as if you were pushing out a diamond GayTony.

yes teh worlds biggest diamond

Demmit has got it in one - it not the present itself, everyone loves presents!

Its the image of the new mum lying there with her innards hanging out, piles exploding, baby squawking saying, as she says
"Well? Where's my fucking present?!"

Surely that should be the last thing on your mind at that particular moment!

To everyone who got an unexpected present, how lovely and how lucky you are. To everyone who was searching the hospital room for the sign of a Tiffany bag (such as the OP!) YABV-fucking-U!

(pixie wanders off foaming at the mouth)

It sounds very, erm, 19th century aristocracy. "Here you go darling, here's a sparkly diamond for producing an heir and buggering up your fanjo".

I got a present for dd1 and I didn't even push - does that make it a 'too posh to push' present ?

Haven't had one for dd2 yet though. Must have words .

I think the present I got was

1. our baby
2. the fact that DP sat next to me through 24 hours of labour without sleeping, terrified that I might die

and I think when we all got home he had better things to think about, like looking after us all and SLEEP, than buying stuff.

I agree that it's lovely that some people's DP's spontaneously decided to make a lovely gesture, but really, anyone who was expecting something... how grabby are you?!

I said to my DH 'where's my diamond, then?' after I bore him his son and heir. I also told him that one should get a particular expensive, shiny diamond if one's clever enough to produce a son first. Henry VIII would have obliged.

I suppose the converse is if you didn't bear the child, or the right gender child, Henry VIII would have lopped your head off. Maybe we should revive that too.

My DH did get me a gorgeous bracelet after we had our daughter - but I wasn't expecting anything. I think he felt so overwhelmed with having seen what I (and all women)have to go through to give birth, he just thought it was nice way of saying well done and celebrating the fact that we had a daughter. And I really appreciated the gesture.

So all of you ladies who got nothing would have been offended if your DP/DH had got you something because a baby is enough and a gift makes it materialistic/trophy like?

Oh fgs posie read the posts - why bother if you are going to be reductive and simplistic?

Much better to talk about Henry VIII, not simplistic at all and hugely relevant.

I got an eternity ring after my ds and I got a runny egg and blue cheese baguette lovingly made after dd.

The last one was the best thing ever as I had been dreaming about blue cheese for 9 months.

I have never heard the term - yuk! But am fairly familiar with the concept. Although I would never expect one. My father gave my mother an aquamarine brooch (to match her engagement ring) when I was born.

I wore it on my wedding day as something borrowed and blue, and as my father is sadly dead, it was very meant a huge amount to me, especially as I walked down the aisle. It had been a gesture he made to mark one of the happiest times of his life.

I thought it was fairly traditional to mark the occasion of the birth of a child with a memento and am amazed at how many people have never heard of it or could possibly be demeaned by it. Obviously stones and jewelry are more enduring than a spa day which is why they are more commonly given.

When I pass on that brooch to my daughter the sentiment behind the giving will still be there. What better occasion to mark? We have lots of birthdays but not so few days when we bring a new life into the world.

FC that is lovely. I should've kept some of the sarnie for dd, might've been something green rather than blue though!

After 43 hours of giving birth to DS1 I thought DH really deserved the present for his support - I had 13 hours of gas and air so don't really remember much - he had the full horror.

I got a beautiful ring too. I feel so used and infantilised , every time I look at it sparkling away on my fingers.

I am also laughing at the used and infantilised comments.

Are you of the generosity and the meaningful moments.

My jewellery had amazing symbolism [ think more silver work with a precious stone; rather than gold or diamonds]

Hubby had recycled a broken piece of jewellery I inherited from my mum. Having that presented to me the day my daughter was born it meant that my mum was with me in that day.

presented to you?

"put your hand in your pocket"

LOL

There is a little corner of Mumsnet which is forever 1955. Keep it up, ladies. Splendid entertainment.

"the meaningful moments"

Ooh can't we have those without the jewellery then?

Yes, I think envy is certainly at the root of my strong feelings. Yes.