to think it's high time somebody started an "I'm an imperfect mother" thread on here? Jeeez the number of perfectly perfect mums on here atm is quite scary

[emkana]

Okay I'll start

I'm not a perfect mother because

I lose my temper
I let them watch x factor and the cube on a Saturday night, and don't even read them a bedtime story after
I've taken them out of school for holidays

[SixtyFootDoll]

None of us i perfect and I dont think many people claim to be
I find most conversations with DS's dull to the extreme, in my defence they are about wrestling or star wars.
I love steven Fry's expalantion ( and take comfort in the fact that I am not that bad) as to why he speaks so fast, apparently his mother ussed to tell him to 'speak quickly dear as Mummy has no interst in what little boys have to say'!
I suspect there are some aspects of parenting that we do well, and others we re crap at

[HerBeatitude]

oh I can't be doing with this competitive skanking either.

Much of it isn't skanking anyway, it's just normal stuff which makes me think it's pretend skanking to disguise competitive perfecting - a bit like those threads which occasionally crop up along the lines of "is only allowing my DD to watch TV for 30 minutes a week depriving her of social bonding with her peers"? or "Should I tell my teenagers that they should stop bringing me breakfast in bed on sundays and cooking the dinner three times a week?"

But I also hate this crap of being told that you're being a "perfect mummy" if you are asked for your opinion about crap parenting and give your opinion that's it crap. Some things are shit and there's nothing wrong with saying so - particularly if you are asked directly. I'd hate it if this site went all netmums and no-one was allowed to say "actually I think this is shit" (obviously in a kinder, more diplomatic manner).

[goodbyesunhellomoon]

The ignoring them a bit when they whitter on/too much tv - crap dinners sometimes is what I can relate to. The smoking in pregnancy, swearing at them regularly and calling them stupid is not. sorry.

[MermaidSpam]

Dear God, yet again a funny thread on Mumsnet turns into a bitch fight.

I don't think anyone is boasting (why boast about something you know you do wrong?)

Admittedly, I wouldn't do some of the stuff on this thread but why judge someone if they have? Especially when they're acknowledging they're wrong by posting on a thread entitled "imperfect mothers".

Or are the people judging, the ones who do this stuff but won't admit to it?........

[pingapengin]

No ones perfect all the time, and people that claim to be are liars.

We all have rough days when we do things we arent proud of or could of done differently, but thats life.

I was under the impression that this thread was a light hearted/we arent perfect/ive been bad type/cheer me up with tales that im not alone type thread.

If you dont like it, dont read it

[MermaidSpam]

well said pinga

[HerBeatitude]

To qualify : I think if one is going to give one's opinion that a certain behaviour is shit, one ought to be careful not to imply that the person is shit.

I think that's where threads go most wrong, when people criticise the person rather than the behaviour. (But obv., some posters can't tolerate criticism of behaviour either).

[SixtyFootDoll]

btw babybarristers post really made me LOL!

[HerBeatitude]

I also hate it when people say this is a lighthearted thread. It's whatever type of thread people want to make it.

[noddyholder]

I am surprised you admit to these things as they aren't minor.It is heartbreaking to hear of childrn being treated like that and I am far from perfect

[colditz]

Sixty =- my brother has an extremely fast p[ace of conversation, which I am convinced is a result of having me as an older sister automatically telling him to "Shuddup!" every time he spoke for more than 10 seconds.

One of the really mean things I have done is convince my children that cereal with milk on is disgusting.

Purely because of the mess.



I also give them chocolate brioches sometimes instead of proper breakfast (am not French).

And I think my six year old does far too much finding his scatty mother's things, usually with me shrieking "Find it, please, it's really imporrrrrtannnnt!"

I "Mmm-hmm" too much too. And bellow at them to "GETOUTOFTHEKITCHENIAMCOOKINGITISHOTANDYOUWILLBURN!!!"

[SixtyFootDoll]

have to agree with Shiney some thingd on here are a bit beyond the pale tbh>

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

By boyngirl on Sun 13-Sep-09 20:46:25
Oh blimey, isn't this just a light hearted thread to let off steam? I'd had hard day with dc today and I was GENUINELY pleased to hear that other people commit the same mummy crimes as me. Made me smile, made me feel better.
But now I'm brought down because I'm being 'competitively neglectful' or some bollocks. BIG fucking sigh.

Well yes, it did start out as a light hearted thread- oh I give sweets to pacify, too much tv, not enough playing etc etc. And these are things we all do as parents, I think.
I also think that some of the behaviours described are not things we all do, and certainly not things we should compare so we can feel better about them- not taking your children to school because you are hungover, calling your child a little shit etc etc.

The fact that people are admitting to these sorts of things on a light hearted thread makes me think they have no clue how bad these behaviours are.
So I make no apology for turning the thread into a 'bitchfest'

[colditz]

Oh shine, I know it's normal, most people do it.

but.

Who ever changed their entire parenting approach because the internet said so? The people posting that they are mean to their children and curse and are horrible will be posting in 5 years time that their children are mean and curse and are horrible.... they won't see the connection.

PS I fully expect that my kids will tune me out and pretend to listen, just like I do to them. We all sow the seeds of our own demise.

[goodbyesunhellomoon]

Agree with shiney.

This was lighthearted and fun at first and I was about to post some of the lazy things i've done this weekend as DH away (way too much tv, lounging around in pj's til the afternoon, beans on toast for lunch) - but as I've read on it all just seems to have taken a slightly dark turn, and it does feel like boasting.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

Colditz's post is the sort of thing I expected to read on this thread, mmm hhhing too much striking a particular cord with me
Not 'oh I can't be arsed to get out of bed to take dcs to school' or swearing at them for dropping some bloody raisins.

[SixtyFootDoll]

am good shiney thanks!
keeping those streets safe?!

[pickyvic]

have avoided like plague cos i sense that this is a thread about a thread, to counter some other threads - such as the one last night from sweetkitty about taking all her kids toys off her - the number of YABU was countered with YANBU cos we all get stressed etc etc etc etc etc, seems peeps need to know its ok to blow a fuse now and again,
id say its depends exactly on just HOW that fuse is blown but there you go.

(i am of course perfect and i dont care who knows it)