to think it's high time somebody started an "I'm an imperfect mother" thread on here? Jeeez the number of perfectly perfect mums on here atm is quite scary

[emkana]

Okay I'll start

I'm not a perfect mother because

I lose my temper
I let them watch x factor and the cube on a Saturday night, and don't even read them a bedtime story after
I've taken them out of school for holidays

[welliemum]

I agree with morecrack. These competitive neglect threads make my teeth itch.

It's all "How cool are we, we do all this Bad Stuff".

It's got nothing to do with managing the hard slog of parenting, and nothing to do with recognising how no-one is perfect and we all need to cut corners somewhere - it's just another form of pointless one-upmanship and it's v. wearying.

[annoyingdevil]

I yelled "for fuck's sake" at DS tonight, after he'd chucked raisins all over the floor.

[Saltire]

I'm definately not perfect.. I let my DS2have a chocolate biscuit and crisps in his lunchbox. And squash in a bottle,

I have been in bed asleep when they got home form school
I have been on the sofa asleep when they got home from school
I have been so tired and in pain that I've let them lay ont eh tv for a whole day wathcing tv.
Similarly have gone to bed when they have been downstairs watching tv
I regularly forget things at school!
When DH wasaway for 4 months they sometimes just had beans on toast, or more likely takeaway for tea

[welliemum]

And it's weird that when peope talk about the "perfect parents" that they hate so much, they're describing a really extreme and obsessive way of parenting that definitely wouldn't be "perfect" in my book.

[boyngirl]

Now THIS is a good thread:

1. All of the bad behaviour above
2. Copious (sp?)wine drinking
3. Calling dd 'a spoilt little shit'
4. Bribing children to get tootbrushes from upstairs with £1

5.Not coughing up the £1

1. Feeding dc burgers/chips at various cafes all weekend rather than cook/wash up

There...ahhhh. Feel liberated!

[boyngirl]

Oh blimey, isn't this just a light hearted thread to let off steam? I'd had hard day with dc today and I was GENUINELY pleased to hear that other people commit the same mummy crimes as me. Made me smile, made me feel better.
But now I'm brought down because I'm being 'competitively neglectful' or some bollocks. BIG fucking sigh.

[medu]

Thank Christ I found you lot, I thought I was the only one!!! I too am guilty of the 'not reading school book with son', also the not making beds/having macdonalds or other takeaways more than once a week/ironing nothing, not even DFs shirts for work or Dss schools stuff (well, that's shocking to my MIL-I bloody HATE ironing!)Bribing them with sweets/money to not 'dob me in' to their dads or their teachers for letting them have the morning off school because I had a hangover, slept in, and took a couple of hours to feel human enough to get them there. I might add here, too, that I actually smoked 5-10 fags a day whilst pregnant with all three of mine, which, until now, I thought would get me reported to social services as a terrible mother, or drummed out of the 'Mums Club'. An ex-friend of mine once said that, because I'd finally introduced my now-fiance to my kids (after knowing him for 10 months) that I deserved to have my kids taken away from me. That was 6 years ago. I've moved away from that area since, but my Mum swears that this Ex-Friend is disappointed every time she asks if I'm still with him and receives a 'yes' answer. I joke about it, but that bitch bloody hurt me! Thank you all for making me feel normal and not a totally crap mother! 2 of my kids (DDs 1&2) are now 18 and 16 and are both at college with no previous convictions, so I must be doing something ok! now where have I left DSs reading book...Oh hell-where have I left DS??? I'm sure I saw him on Friday... Oh, I forget one - I'm guilty of buying DS his OWN laptop (with parental locks in place, of course), so I don't have to share mine with him and can spend time clothes shopping on it while he's on the Cbeebies site. God, I'm really crap!!! Sorry I've wittered on and gone totally off-topic in parts of this.

[hatesponge]

Why do these threads ALWAYS end up with everyone being made to feel bad? The point of the thread was surely to show we all have faults, that no-one is perfect, and that frankly quite a lot of us are fed up even trying for the unattainable.

I see much more evidence of PROPER neglect in RL on a daily basis than I have read on this thread.

We all have faults. What's wrong with admitting it?

[hatesponge]

forgot to add:

QOD - of course you can be my friend, we can be shouty mean mummys together - and apparently also revel in how cool we are.....

[medu]

Well, I think you're all great. We can admit we're not perfect. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think the aim of these postings was 'one upmanship' really. It actually made me feel lots better to just get stuff off my chest - a bit like talking to a psychotherapist . I only joined MN an hour ago, but I feel really at home here already. I'm a disabled Mum, don't leave the house very often and yes, I'm a bit crap, but I've never let my kids be my Carers, they're growing up without that load to bear and I've never smacked, either. Whether I'm really bad or not, this thread really did make me feel loads better about how rubbish at this parenting lark I am sometimes. Mind you, I think everyone will agree that they too wish that kids came with an instruction book. P.s. Does anyone else go to tuck their kid in late at night before going to bed themselves, look at that innocent little sweetheart sleeping soundly after being a right little sod all day and think "Awww, how could I shout like that? Just look at how cute he/she is." Yep...Thought so.

[QOD]

more crack than harlem - I agree! I hate myself, I berate myselft, I bang my head on the wall, I cry, I rant at myself, I lecture myself, I spent 10yrs trying to have a child, and now, I sometimes treat her like shit.
I am incredibly releived that other people do this, it makes me feel less shit, yet more ashamed and determined to stop

So nur

LOL

[rosiest]

thank god for this thread! its not one upman ship, this makes me realise we are all normal no one is perfect its just some people would think that to admit to these things makes them a bad mother. some people need to relax.
I do that every night medu!!

[Ewe]

I couldn't have put it better myself shineon, totally agree. These threads make me sad, shouting and swearing at your children is really nothing to be shouting about, neither is smoking whilst pregnant or neglecting them to Mumsnet.

FWIW I don't think it is a bad thing to have somewhere that you can go to confess your bad days, or bad moments but these things shouldn't really be said with the pride that is coming across here!

[indiechick]

I am definately not perfect. I have told my dd1 to shut up several times today. And when dd2 fell over I merely told her it was her own fault.
Also told dd1 that I was going for a shower whilst secretly sneaked out for a fag.

[indiechick]

I'm not feeling proud by the way, just a bit down and bad that I've been a grumpy old cow all day.

[MermaidSpam]

Oh thank the lord there are actual normal people on Mumsnet!
I always seem to read the threads where people comment about said Fruitshoots/TV/McDs/Cars/Disposable nappies/etc being the worst thing you could possibly do to a child and wonder how the hell I seem to be getting things so obviously wrong.
DD has Fruitshoots, 4 hours of Playhouse Disney a day, McDs once a week, we have 2 cars and she wore disposable nappies until potty trained.

I use emotional blackmail to get her to do things and a lot of other things that, should I mention them, do not reflect well on my skills as a mother.

As for being "competitivley neglectful" - BOLLOCKS! People sometimes need to know that they aren't they only ones who have been in their situation and that there are a hell of a lot worse things they could be doing.

[noddyholder]

I agre with shineon We ar not perfect but to boast about some of these things is and tbh you should feel bad.there is a huge difference between a few too many episodes of thomas and a few sweets and some of this stuff.Children learn how to be adults from us and some of you should be ashamed

[flopalong]

Think there's a difference between not being perfect (like me) and being a scummy mummy scally. Half of you are discusting if what your saying is true, people thinking its just not being perfect to be fuckin awful to your kids don't deserve them. I'm not perfect like the OP, not in a piss head can't be bothered to send my kids to school way OH MY GOD you must all live newr me cos you sound like the pricks I have to put up with......I want to move away from neglectful parents.

[Pyrocanthus]

Any halfway perfect parent would be baking cakes and not wittering away on mumsnet.

Bugger, I need to go and turn some lights out.

[flopalong]

I would never speak to my kids in that way, I would speak to someone else like that in front of them. Like Noddyholder said children learn how to behave from us, so if you want your kids to behave you should to.