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AIBU?

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Original poster

to tell ds the truth about santa

148 replies

elmofan · 12/09/2009 14:37

hi , just looking for your opinions please , ds has started asking questions about weather Santa is REAL , well he asked last year & we kept up the pretence but he is 10.7 & will be 11 at the end of January , i think its time we told him the truth about Santa if he asks again whereas DH wants to keep the pretence going , trouble is I'm worried that this will make ds a target for bullies , as he has been bullied before & i know quite a lot of his friends do NOT believe any more . is is time to let our pfb grow up or is dh right ? x

OP posts:
HigherThanAWombat · 12/09/2009 14:38

Tell him the truth. When he next asks answer honestly.

SlartyBartFast · 12/09/2009 14:40

keep up the pretence, tongue in cheek, or drop hints.
stockigns are good.

andiem · 12/09/2009 14:40

if he asks tell him the truth
my ds1 is 9 and I thought he had stopped beleiving last year but he hadn't
if he asks this year I will tell him

QOD · 12/09/2009 14:41

Awwwwwwwwww - I think the time is coming sniff

They only have this last Xmas really - because then they will be a big school and will DEFFO get bullied if they still beleive!

hatesponge · 12/09/2009 14:44

My parents told me 'the truth' when I was 7 or 8. They were worried I would be bullied - as it turned out I was one of the first in my class to know!

My DS is 11; he thinks that FC might not be real, but refuses to admit this outright in case he doesn't get any presents (thereby sensibly hedging his bets! )

I wouldn't tell him outright, but dropping hints is probably a good approach

purepurple · 12/09/2009 14:45

Tell him the truth, but keep the magic alive at christmas by labelling one of his presents from santa. You can also check santa's preogress on the internet, santa tracker, I think.
DD is 12 and we still do this.
When Ds was at primary school the head teacher told the whole school that santa didn't exist. Heartless bastard.
He had no kids, but he did have a yellow sports car.

MmeProf · 12/09/2009 14:45

We have always been truthful to our children. I don't understand parents who wish to trick their children into thinking that the legend/fairy story is real.

plonker · 12/09/2009 14:47

Hmmm, I'm nearing that stage with my dd1 (9.8).

I know others will say that she doesn't believe still, that she's just doing it for my benefit, but she does.

I won't ever tell her the 'truth'. I'm kind of hoping she comes to the realisation without me re-inforcing it, but remains happy to go along with it for her little sisters.

It's hard isn't it? Because I don't want her to reach secondary school still believing, but I promised myself since I was a child that I would never ruin my children's Christmasses by telling them that Father Christmas isn't real (I asked my mum when I was 9 and she told me ...I still remember how crushed I was [saddo]).

PS. Thread titles like this are generally best avoided too - just in case littlies peep over shoulders ...although I guess the truth could be anything really

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 14:48

thanks , i have been talking to him this morning as he was telling me what he wants to ask Santa for , i tried to suss him out as to weather he REALLLLLY believes & from his response i really think he does wholeheartedly , when he told us yesterday that his friend x told him Santa does not exist dh told ds Santa does exist , & put on the dvd of " the polar express "
when ds went to bed i told dh that i don't want ds to be made a fool of in school as he has already been bullied before & maybe we should just tell him but dh wants to try get 1 more xmas out of ds believing

OP posts:
plonker · 12/09/2009 14:49

"We have always been truthful to our children. I don't understand parents who wish to trick their children into thinking that the legend/fairy story is real"

Because we're evil manipulating liars who wish to psychologically damage our naive offspring ...

HigherThanAWombat · 12/09/2009 14:56

I found out when I was 9 I think. I'd had suspicions for some time and asked my mother while going down the escalator in M&S.
She answered truthfully and I wasn't at all crushed. I was happy that she was honest with me.

My only reaction was to remark that it's just as well she told me or when I had my own children that I'd still have been waiting for Santa to bring their gifts.

purepurple · 12/09/2009 14:57

I've just remembered we didn't have to tell DD the truth. DS did it for us, just like big brothers do.

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 14:58

plonker soooo true .

purepurple i would have killed that teacher . yep ds & dd do the santa tracker on xmas eve , last year i had to peel ds off the pc for meal times
he still has 2 more years to go in primary school {not in the uk)
i don't think i will be able to bring myself to tell him so i guess i am hoping that he realises it for himself i remember that heart breaking feeling when i found out .

OP posts:
Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 15:02

that's another issue purepurple , dh is worried that ds will tell his little sister (3) that Santa is not real , as ds loves to wind her up

OP posts:
MmeProf · 12/09/2009 15:05

I suspect that you are being flippant, plonker.

So what is the truthful reason for lying to your children?

I seriously don't get it.

purepurple · 12/09/2009 15:07

elmofan, I think that thousands of children over the years have been told by an older sibling about santa. I am sure they all coped and haven't been emotionally scarred
DS was 7 when DD was born and has teased her relentlessly ever since. He still does now, and he is 20 and should know better. But, she copes, and gives as good as she gets.

PrincessToadstool · 12/09/2009 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plonker · 12/09/2009 15:13

"I suspect that you are being flippant, plonker" - Ya think?

Magic MmeProf. For me, I want my children to believe in Father Christmas because of the magic. Sorry it's not a deeper reason.

Oh, and I don't consider it lying either. The spirit of FC is very true IMHO, even if the man in the red suit isn't.

Obviously I'm only speaking for myself and my family here.

Whether you 'get it' is of no concern to me. I'm not trying to convince you

MmeProf · 12/09/2009 15:13

Isn't Christmas magical enough? God made mad, etc.

trellism · 12/09/2009 15:15

I wasn't brought up to think Santa is real and have no intention of letting DD believe otherwise. I did have sufficient decency to keep this knowledge to myself, so possibly the only lasting effect is to have made me a smug git who likes being right.

I cannot see the point of pretending that presents arrive via a fat bloke that comes down the chimney.

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 15:15

lol purepurple , i have a 7yr age gap too between dc's so your telling the teasing doesn't get any better eh .
mmeprof - have you never told a little white lie to your dc's ? we dont intend to lie to the dc's just think the magic of Santa has created GREAT excitement & wonder , did you believe in Santa when you were little ,

OP posts:
MmeProf · 12/09/2009 15:15

Oops = God made man

PrincessToadstool · 12/09/2009 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmeProf · 12/09/2009 15:17

It is pretty difficult to trump God becoming man and being born in a stable in Bethlemen. You want more than that???

plonker · 12/09/2009 15:17

princess - I was just about to ask the exact same question!