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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell ds the truth about santa

148 replies

elmofan · 12/09/2009 14:37

hi , just looking for your opinions please , ds has started asking questions about weather Santa is REAL , well he asked last year & we kept up the pretence but he is 10.7 & will be 11 at the end of January , i think its time we told him the truth about Santa if he asks again whereas DH wants to keep the pretence going , trouble is I'm worried that this will make ds a target for bullies , as he has been bullied before & i know quite a lot of his friends do NOT believe any more . is is time to let our pfb grow up or is dh right ? x

OP posts:
Eve4Walle · 12/09/2009 20:38

Is Father Christmas not real then?

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 20:51

of course he is eve4walle

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 12/09/2009 20:53

i dont get it ofcourse hes real.whats not real!!!

Eve4Walle · 12/09/2009 20:56

I know he's real. He left me a present on the hearth last year, and a note. Addressed to me and DD.

I heard him once too, it was the faint jingle of bells as he passed over the house in his sleigh. I was about 5 or 6.

2shoes · 12/09/2009 20:57

sorry but I think the op is being a nearly 11 yr old who still believes in FC!!!!!!

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 21:07

oh to be 11 again 2shoes , no mortgage , no bills ..... i wish
eve4walle I'm jealous i must have been on his naughty list last year what did his note say ?

OP posts:
Eve4Walle · 12/09/2009 21:10

The note said we'd both been good girls and he wanted us to behave in the coming year, and if we could do that, then we'd both get the presents we wanted again.

CherryPopTart · 12/09/2009 21:15

i refused to belive father christmas wasnt real and still enjoy pretending as it adds to christmas magic, my parents never told me and still every year me and my sister (16&18) leave out mince pies, a glass of port and a few carrots and every christmas morning they are gone/half eat with coal foot prints by our fire place
i was never bullied but as ds has been bullied in the past i suggest just explaining to him that not everybody belives in santa and that its his choice to belive or not but you belive hes real (meaning its okay for him to belive or not)
instead of telling him outright that FC is not real and its all a lie

2shoes · 12/09/2009 21:17

oops In my post I missed out a vital word.....had she is being had

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 21:21

well dh says i have been very good so i am hopefull this year
hope he left you something REALLLLLY nice

OP posts:
posieparker · 12/09/2009 21:25

I wonder if those who tell their dcs that FC is not real let their dcs watch C4 news...just a thought.

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 21:28

seriously 2shoes i really think ds still believes bless him last week he lost a baby tooth he put it under his pillow & couldn't wait to see what the tooth fairy had given him , he will be heartbroken when he finds out ,

OP posts:
magicOC · 12/09/2009 21:31

At least he is questioning you. Next time he asks, be honest.

I was gutted as I had the double whammy of finding out when the tooth fairy didn't turn up and got the "oh now we think its time you knew the tooth fairy and FC dont exist".

NOT the best way to find out.

Original poster
elmofan · 12/09/2009 21:37

pranma ah i will tell him before he starts secondary school , he has 2 more years to go before he leaves primary school , i don't want to make him a target for bullies .

OP posts:
mumeeee · 12/09/2009 21:42

2shoes I don't think the OP is bieng had, 2of my DDs believed until they were 10 and 11. I also know of a other childenof this age who still believe.

LynetteScavo · 13/09/2009 08:38

I think the worst thing you can do is ever admit FC isn't real. You are just crushing all the magic.

I genuinely feel sorry for people who don't feel the magic of FC, adn are there for unable to pass it on to their DCs.

Christmas was the most magical thing for me as a child, and it wasn't becuase I got lots of new toys (I didn't get that much - was the 70's y'know it was the whole idea of someone lovely flying through the sky and filling my stocking. Soooooo much more exciting than just being given something on your birthday.

Original poster
elmofan · 13/09/2009 09:22

i agree lynettescavo , we make a huge deal about Christmas in our house , the build up to the big day is great , its also dd's birthday on new years eve so that is another big party in the home

OP posts:
nooka · 13/09/2009 09:39

I wasn't brought up with Father Christmas, and yet Christmas was a magical time for me. I've not done it wit my children, and yet they still get very excited by Christmas. FC stuff isn't actually required at all for a wonderful celebration. Plus they will never feel "crushed" to discover that it's all a story - actually I find it slightly odd that an 11 year old can really "believe" in FC, surely if they think about it even for a little while they should be able to figure out that the whole presents for every child thing just isn't actually possible? Wouldn't they ask lots of questions that you have to actively pretend about - fine if it's with a glint in your eye, but deadpan? ds would have grilled us completely years and years ago (he is 10) and I really doubt that even with the strongest belief that FC was a necessary part of Christmas we could really have kept up without him guessing that it was really a load of twaddle.

teamcullen · 13/09/2009 09:56

"If you dont believe, you dont recieve"

Thats the saying in our house. But we have one who is 13, one 10 and one 7.
The older ones are very good at keeping up the pretence to the younger ones.

We even have a little elf (cake decoration) who comes every year and sits on to of the bookcase to watch for good behavior.

Original poster
elmofan · 13/09/2009 10:02

hi nooka , my ds is 10 not 11 until next january , & i suppose its a case of everyone is different , weather you find it ODD or not is irrelevant , ds is our PFB so he has no older siblings & therefore has believed what he has been told , he is an innocent kind of child not streetwise iykwim so i suppose that has to be taken into account , im sure he will bring fc up again before xmas so i will try explain things to him then ,

OP posts:
Original poster
elmofan · 13/09/2009 10:04

lol teamcullen , love the elf idea

OP posts:
deaddei · 13/09/2009 10:13

DD (13) still would like to believe- ds (10) worked it out when he was 7 and we had to threaten him with all sorts if he told her (and his friends)
Personally I hate Christmas, and no doubt will be a grumpy old woman on threads coming up to Dec 25th!
But I always make sure the children have a lovely time before anyone shouts at me. Please don't shout- I have a bit of a headache after last night.

Original poster
elmofan · 13/09/2009 10:17

ha deaddei - hope the hangover was worth it
dh has a nephew who had to told at the age of 14 that fc did not exist , maybe we have gone way tooooo far to convince the dc's fc is real

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 13/09/2009 11:49

If a man can fly in a rocket to the moon, and you can go in a train under the sea, why wouldn't someone with special posers be able to fly tough the sky?

Probably seems quite reasonable to a 9 year old.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 13/09/2009 11:49

Mme prof - you tell your children that god became man and was born to a virgin 2000 years ago - and you accuse other parents of lying to their children?

Fairy stories are fairy stories, children believe them because they are gullible and like to believe in magic. No harm done. I still don't understand why adults persist in believing in them.

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