to feel a bit hurt by my friend?

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

background - friend has children the same age as mine and they go to the same school. We've been friends for about a year and share other friends, have been out together and helped each other out etc

she has always been one of the nicest people I know, she is generous and kind and would do anything for anyone

My ds2 has a ridiculous haircut at the moment his fringe is cut straight across about 2 inches above his eyebrows and his hair slopes down to shoulder length at the back

he looks like a coconut

the reason for it is that he nicked my scissors and hacked his fringe nearly half-way across at that stupidly short length, and when I tried to tidy it up he wailed that I wasn't allowed to cut the back short because he wants a ponytail like Daddy

so I did the best I could with it and it looks tidy, even though it's a daft haircut

anyway lovely friend who I thought really liked me apparently said to a mutual friend the other morning at school

"Have you SEEN XX's hair, what on earth have they done to him" and was laughing and taking the piss

I know it's silly but I feel really hurt and also I feel as though I have to tell everyone we know why he has that haircut

I made dh mention it to his teacher this morning (two boys and two adults, so we take one each into school for the 10 minutes of 'early work', I had ds1 this morning)

AIBU to feel that my trust has been shaken? I would never have expected this friend to take the piss behind my back like that. Now I feel rather sad and wary of all the other people I thought liked me

Oh you've all gone . I'll try to lure you back being all controversial:

The Plant is overrated.

Araminta, perhaps you are talking about the secondary school my children would have gone to, hadn't we moved back to our country of origin.

Oh come on Franca, you introduced me to Plant.

Did I?
Possibly, it was my port of call on Thursday mornings.

I never succeeded in being controversial . Damn!

succeed

plant cafe is nice, you can sit outside and see the cathedral and they have nice tea and all that

but their veggie sausages are spammy [dry heave]

lol, I just hide behind Greeny and let her do the vitriolic name-calling controversial bits while I nod along. She's so good at it.

moi?!?!

Friday morning might be better btw, I have to be at work at 12.30 on Thurs (they have introduced this horrible "Huff Puff" half hour exercise regime before each session which I now have to go to, it's hideous)

Friday morning would be good.

do you have to go and HuffPuff then? Is it compulsory? It sounds fun.

yes I have to go along and huff and puff like a clapped out old steam engine

it isn't fun it's grim

we even had a whole day's training on how to implement the govt's new primary school exercise policy - Leap Into Life, it's called

I had enough trouble Leaping Out Of Bed after weeks of slobbing about

it combined the two things I deplore most - training courses and aerobic exercise

lol. I like aerobics classes. was quite addicted to aqua-aerobics when pregnant and postnatal.

I have to say Plant is lovely in the summer, but in the winter it is very tight squeeze in there. The viggie sausages sound very grim indeed. Franca where would you recommend.

I mean veggie, what is wrong with my typing today.

Why do they make you do that at work Greeny sounds like torture.

snort at the two things you deplore - could be worse though - imagine if it was a team meeting as well, while you are all huffing and puffing.

Well, that's what you get if you will insist on working in state schools, innit? If you were working at the local prep school you wouldn't have to bother with these pesky government initiatives.....

lol, I was just wondering whether private school "teachers" have to go through all this wank

TC team meetings are grim enough but at least I get to just sit there and doodle, drink my coffee and throw in the odd sarky remark - but basically get left alone

and usually there are twiglets

training courses are murder, all that "get into little groups and just have a chat about XXX and come up with a scenario" and fucking roleplay and all that

hateful, just hateful

and coupled with bouncing around like a complete knob in front of all my colleagues - I'd rather french kiss a rottweiler

Yeah, well, I have an 8hr job interview thing tomorrow, in the next city along, for a job I don't want (not full time anyway no way am I commuting that far daily) including doing a presentation on why I'm so wonderful and what I can bring to the job. urgh.

would rather be doing Huff puff.

I'd be more worried about letting my child have a haircut that could make him a subject of ridicule, but then that might be me being highly unreasonable.

If she really is as nice as you say she is, I would be really surprised it was as bitchy as whoever told you has made it sound. She's probably just a bit thrown by it. Ask her outright, she'll be massively apologetic and sorry.

I think the 'friend' who told you is probably not very nice...what on earth did they think it would achieve, you knowing?!

How could you send him to school looking silly?

I'd have clipped his hair neatly, very short if necessary and regardless of his protests about wanting a ponytail.

Oh for fuck's sake

Is there really any need to be so emotive? "How could you" indeed

HE doesn't think it lookds silly, he thinks he looks great

I proposed to cut it all shorter and he begged me not to because he wants to grow it long

it never occurred to me to say "well tough, I won't be laughed at so it's all coming off"

I tidied it up as best I could and made it straioght and neat, it's just a daft style - short fringe and the sloping down o long at the back

it's HIS hair, isn't it? Do you think I should have overriden him entirely and just clipped it all off? Not my style.

It's a delicate balance between encouraging your child's uniqueness and individuality, and helping them to fit into society. I struggle with that with my children, I do want them to be happy at school and have friends, I also want them to be unafraid to have their own opinions and styles and not to just follow the herd.

You might expect adult friends to appreciate this, even if children don't always, and if you might not always make the same choices.

jemart are you for real, surely it is much worse to do something to your child against their will than to send them to school with an unusual hair cut. What do you suggest pinning him to the floor and hacking his hair off. How could you

You did the right thing Greensleeves. It's his hair.

Blast it my cooker just broke.