to feel a bit hurt by my friend?

[GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob]

background - friend has children the same age as mine and they go to the same school. We've been friends for about a year and share other friends, have been out together and helped each other out etc

she has always been one of the nicest people I know, she is generous and kind and would do anything for anyone

My ds2 has a ridiculous haircut at the moment his fringe is cut straight across about 2 inches above his eyebrows and his hair slopes down to shoulder length at the back

he looks like a coconut

the reason for it is that he nicked my scissors and hacked his fringe nearly half-way across at that stupidly short length, and when I tried to tidy it up he wailed that I wasn't allowed to cut the back short because he wants a ponytail like Daddy

so I did the best I could with it and it looks tidy, even though it's a daft haircut

anyway lovely friend who I thought really liked me apparently said to a mutual friend the other morning at school

"Have you SEEN XX's hair, what on earth have they done to him" and was laughing and taking the piss

I know it's silly but I feel really hurt and also I feel as though I have to tell everyone we know why he has that haircut

I made dh mention it to his teacher this morning (two boys and two adults, so we take one each into school for the 10 minutes of 'early work', I had ds1 this morning)

AIBU to feel that my trust has been shaken? I would never have expected this friend to take the piss behind my back like that. Now I feel rather sad and wary of all the other people I thought liked me

Shame Musicgarten is really good. I am actually a bit freaked out by the possibility of mumsnet crossing into my real world as this is my hiding place so I don't want to say too much. It is really odd though. I have always looked out for your names on here as we have similar views. Very odd that we even go the same cafes !

It is freaky, when I moved here I knew greeny as a notorious (scary and to be avoided ) mumsnetter but also knew I was moving into her part of the city and worked out from one thread that our dc were in the same childcare place. That was before we ever met.

In my old home I used to keep mumsnet and RL separate, only met one mumsnetter in RL (we were on the same baby threads) but here I mixed it all up and used mumsnet to make new friends when we moved here.

Hmmmm very scary. Doesn't it get wierd with real life mixed up in this. I like to think of it as my escape from work and school and stuff.

I am off to have lunch with a friend at one of the cafes you mentioned. The one with the amazing chocolate brownies.

DD did a hack job on her hair when she was 3. Truly, I had a panic attack when I saw it. It all had to be cut off.
I hated all the other playgroup mums shrieking at me 'WHAT have you done to her hair, WHY have you cut it all off, oh, it used to be SO pretty'.
Luckily I had evidence on my phone as to why I had mistreated DD so badly.
Now, last week I let DD choose her own 'back to school' haircut and hid in the backroom of the hairdressers. The haircut is strangely reminiscent of The Emergency Cut but everyone is saying how fab it looks. Weird.
You wouldn't want a little Stepford kid Greeny, I bet he really enjoyed cutting his hair off. Standard answer "Well, at least his hair will grow back, whereas your kid's face..." (Only in your head though)

My kids go to the school filled with the slightly more posh or aspirational children from Greeny's catchment whose parents are fleeing the rough city squalor for our "nicer" school.

I would prefer Greeny's school really but happen to live near ours not hers.

I am slightly confused as to which school yours both go to. Springlamb about the stepford kid remark. Actually there are quite a few stepford kids at our school, and good handful of slightly wierd ones like mine though. Greeny don't you also play the violin all very wierd I really must go as I am late. Plant brownies are calling me.

You have to be a bit cryptic don't you. See, now you'll be wondering if you know us already.

I like the frittata at that cafe. am feeling hungry at the thought.

Green, well done on you DS he has made a statement that he will not conform to everyone elses standards of what is normal for him!!!! as for said friend when you see her I would make a passing comment "Oh I heard you have noticed ds's haircut, it doesn't quite suit him does it? but you know children and independance....I really shouldn't have let him decide how to cut his hair"

Mind you DS1 got hold of the hair clippers once minus the guide and cut his hair all down the side leaving a bit in the middle like a mohecan (sp) he refused to let me cut it off....so i left it did look rather cute actually.

See, now i am wondering if I already know you. Do you know of a secondary school where the kids wear Gryffindor colours.

Gryffindor colours? Not sure which one that is, maybe you mean the one with the shortest most interesting name? It's not our local one though. That has a very boring uniform.

red and yellow. We call it gryffindor the girls in the green tartan are the slytherins you see

Another clue. Most people wouldn't touch it with a barge pole

I know which school you mean

not our local one though, maybe you live in a different bit of town...

|Why not gel his fringe up so it doesn't look so cococnutty?

I would be hurt too.

I guess so ! Still we all get to eat the brwones at plant

brownies

Any clues to your local secondary

here's a clue, most mumsnet parents and local parents wouldn't touch ours with a barge pole

I presume you are talking state secondaries not the many private ones? I only know the uniform of our own local one, and some of the private ones as I work in streets surrounded by girls in various tartan kilts.

our local school uni. boring boring boring navy trousers pale blue shirts navy sweatshirts.

I wore navy school uniform. and was a keen guide so for years all my clothes were a variation on navy "It'll do for guide camp". Have never worn or liked navy since.

I was talking state schools yes. I don't know which one you are talking about with the navy and blue shirts. I suppose there are a lot of sondary schools here.

ours is the most westerly one. closest to the Steiner school.

Ah ha I know the one. Well, its very nice to know you guys are around in the local area

You can look over your shoulder in the cafes wondering if the coven of cackling hags group of smart ladies lunching is us

I will

I think your friend wouldn't have meant to upset you, and would really regret her comments if she knew how upset they have made you.

I also think the mutual friend who told you what she said was wrong, especially as it is probably the first time your friend has ever said anything negative about you or your DS. You admit yourself that his hair looks funny, and your friend made a comment about it, but I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you.

I would put it to the back of my mind, or, if you feel really strongly about it, speak to her, and explain how he came to have that haircut and that you are worried that people are talking about it behind your back.