...to find it peculiar when white people ask me where I come from 'originally'...

[MrsMerryHenry]

...but haven't got a bleeding clue about their own ethnic origins?

Classic convo:Person: Hi, blah blah blah

Me: Hi, blah blah blah

Person: So where are you from? Originally, I mean?

Me: I'll tell you that if you can tell me first where you come from.

Person: Oh, er...London. (I am not exaggerating here, I have been told this at least twice )

and double-

The best any of them can do is 'England and Scotland' or something like that. Still a double-.

I heard Jamie Oliver on Friday saying that he's recently discovered that his family origins go back to some Sudanese people eons ago. Surely that's an exciting thing to know about oneself, right?

• I rather like it. It's definitely Scottish, isn't it? But is it genetic Scot or socialised?

Everyone has an accent though. I don't get why a total stranger asking where I am "from" and gettting a list of places then feels they have learned something about me as a person. It says nothing about my interests, the formative experiences that have made me what I am, the important people in my life. They just get a a list of places. That is interesting why? To me it's as exciting as someone describing in detail their travel route to their holiday. It tells you nothing about what sort of holiday they had and whether they enjoyed it.

Anyone with an accent I ask where are they from because I find it interesting and I like to learn things about people.

Me too. Kind of scary to realise it could cause so much offence.

It's OK to ask someone where they're from.

It might be rude to ask them where they're from originally if you only just met. If they want to tell you they will.

Otherwise you put them in the awkward position of having to share their life history with someone they've only met for 2 minutes and might not like very much!

Not to mention that a lot of people ask this but don't bother to share their origins. It makes you wonder why hey ask...

You might ask because you think it's interesting but a lot of people ask because they want to pigeon-hole you.

Some posters have said they ask because they're nosy or curious. Well I'm often curious about how much someone earns, whether they're going to have any more children, if their pregnancy was planned, etc but don't ask them because it's very personal! I know I mean it in a good way but an awful lot of people don't.

You already asked them where they're from. They gave you an answer they feel happy and comfortable with it. I tend to leave it at that. They can tell you their life history if they want.

Think about your friends and acquaintances. Do you know where they're from? And originally?

Do they know where you're from? And originally?

If someone I have met has an accent and we're chatting away I always ask where they are originally from. Why would I not? I'm being interested in them, obviously can't place the accent for myself, and am interested in knowing, and it opens up a whole new topic of conversation. If someone is offended by that then it's their problem, not mine.

For some reason I find it fine to ask someone with a non-UK accent where they are from originally as I just assume they are fairly recent immigrants. But I would never ask someone who had a UK accent where they were from originally. I just assume they are British, regardless of what they look like/their skin colour.

This is a big thing for me personally as well. I am white but have a really mixed up tranatlantic accent and when people ask "where are you from?" it winds me up a bit. What they REALLY want to know is "where is your accent from?" I never know whether I should fob them off with a pat answer, make something up or launch into a long-winded explanation of why I sound the way I do!

btw, totally agree with NotQuiteCockney's summary:

"They're saying, basically, 'you can't be from X, as you are not white.' Aren't they?"

this thread is fascinating, btw: it seems to be dividing everyone on what's accepted as family origins and ehtnicity, which is a great debate. it does highlight that British people are now so caught up with being allowed to be British (for a change) that they don't want to accept or even acknowledge any further heritage.

my history: paternal side: family tree has been traced thus far to 18th century scotland with a James who was a lieutenant in the scots' dragoons guards. family stayed in scotland till mid 19th, i think and then settled in nottingham. My surname is therefore scottish (the name of the river upon which the town of origin sat).
my maternal side, i have no idea as my mum was adopted. we know her adopted family's tree, but for her own, we know where her "oven" was living when my mum was born. it only matters for medical history, i suppose.
i get asked a lot where i'm from as i now live in kent and have a nottm accent (apparently a lot stronger than it is.. ) i never find it necessary to answer any further than Nottingham because that's all they want to know. i am then labelled northern and mocked with fake yorkshire accents

A polish food shop has just opened up. talked to the owner (very nice guy) (not to find out if he was polish: just assumed he was because of the nature of the shop: actualyl to find out what was in something) he isn't Polish, but Turkish and opened the shop to cater for the new Polish population.

my family doctor is Indian and of the age when lots of doctors came over from Pakistan to be GPs. he gets annoyed when people assume he is Pakistani.

why have you put 'white' people surely youve been asked this by 'black' people before or is it ok from them? surely its just a conversation starter and totally innocent
just curious, as i understand it is ignorant for someone to 'assume' you are not born in this country but surely its not only white people assuming this sometimes?

Rehtom, the OP was not talking about people who Britain.

My family and I are quite often asked by strangers if we're scandinavian.
We're all blonde. Yes, naturally blonde. ALL of us, mum, dad, sisters, brother, cousins uncles.

It is only when we're all out together though. People are just curious and interested I think.

I could see how it would be annoying if it were all the time though.

I used to have the piss taken out of me at school - for being so 'white' - unfortunately, dulux bought out a range of paint that were "The whiter shade of XXX" and some of the more imaginative kids decided I was the whiter shade of blue! How I laughed - not!

I did go through a stage of darkening my hair when I first started working in IT - it's hard enough being in the minority of female - let alone blonde female, made me look a bit like Mortisha Adams though.