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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to find it peculiar when white people ask me where I come from 'originally'...

262 replies

MrsMerryHenry · 06/09/2009 22:40

...but haven't got a bleeding clue about their own ethnic origins?

Classic convo:Person: Hi, blah blah blah

Me: Hi, blah blah blah

Person: So where are you from? Originally, I mean?

Me: I'll tell you that if you can tell me first where you come from.

Person: Oh, er...London. (I am not exaggerating here, I have been told this at least twice )

and double-

The best any of them can do is 'England and Scotland' or something like that. Still a double-.

I heard Jamie Oliver on Friday saying that he's recently discovered that his family origins go back to some Sudanese people eons ago. Surely that's an exciting thing to know about oneself, right?

OP posts:
morocco · 06/09/2009 23:04

lol at the time this went wrong for me

'where are you from?'

'sorry'

where are you from?

sorry

where are you from

I'm from Surrey!!

mrsruffallo · 06/09/2009 23:04

I am originally (as far back as I could trace on records) from London, so that would be my answer to you.
Dunno why you would find it weird if I said that.

Tortington · 06/09/2009 23:05

i dont get the thread at all

i just dont get it

so i ask somene where they are from

they say london

i say no originally

they say "i was born in london, but my family originate south africa - what about you?

i say " i was born in Oldham and my family tree suggests that in c.1100 we have french heritidge, however there are bits of romany gypsy and italian lineage too."

really?

Rindercella · 06/09/2009 23:05

MrsH, I absolutely agree with you. I also find it bizarre, but as a white European, I can only trace part of my family back a few generations. But if someone asked where I came from I would be shocked. So...why should non-white people be asked the same question, especially if - as Hecate points out - they have a distinct British accent? Tis a very good question you pose.

DH gets it all the time. All the bloody time.

Mumcentreplus · 06/09/2009 23:05

it's just sheer nosyness with me I'm Black Brit but I'm nosy as hell..so if i hear an accent or look at a person I will ask! it's my job (thats my excuse)

loler · 06/09/2009 23:05

It's a question I would ask in a getting to know you type conversation. I would ask anyone I was having a nice chat with. Are you sure they don't mean what part of the country are you from?

nkweto · 06/09/2009 23:06

mmm moondog.. do you get asked that question when you are in your home country though ? Do you know where your family were 300 years ago ?

I get this all the time, and always find it a strange question, particularly when 'Birmingham' doesnt appear to be the answer they were expecting. My accent is as English as can be as well..

wishingchair · 06/09/2009 23:06

Hmmm. I am white but have been in distant places like Malaysia where because of my appearance, whole families have stopped, stared, and taken photos. They would not have known that I hadn't been born in Malaysia.

However, to the OP's point ... I think you make a good point, however, I could not tell you where I come from 'originally'. My great grandfather was jewish (russian maybe), some irish, etc etc. A hotchpotch. So I guess it is something to do with the fact that the UK is somewhere that people have immigrated to over a long long period of time. So it is tricky for many white people to always be able to say definitively where they originate from. Different to say the US where people still have clear routes back to Poland, Italy, Germany, Ireland etc because it is more recent immigration history. I guess if you are not-white, you are assumed (not necessarily correctly) to be have a more recent immigratory (is that a word?) history and therefore a closer connection.

God that was waffly. And prob makes no sense.

Prunerz · 06/09/2009 23:06

I've sometimes asked where people's parents came from. I'm interested in how they got here. I might ask based on a name that I recognise as not being British, rather than colour.

It's not the first thing I'd ask. It's interesting; I like that Britain is multicultural. I find it sort of depressing that if I ask a non-white person that question they'd assume it was something to do with colour.

Mumcentreplus · 06/09/2009 23:07

Really doesn't matter about the colour ...I'm a nosy bint

moondog · 06/09/2009 23:07

guffaw at Morocco.

If I see someone with brown skin or with white skin but a different accent i may weel ask where thay are from originally, not through some sinister agenda but because, hey!! i am interested.

MaggieVirgo · 06/09/2009 23:08

I can see why that is annoying. I have probably (over 15 years ago) done it myself -when I first arrived in the uk sorry, wouldn't do it now.

I know that if people's names are foreign, like Zravdka, I'm still thinking 'ooooh, where's that from then??". Or if somebody's sur name is Piaccentini,I am curious, was it their long forgotten great granddad's name or their own parents. What language do they talk. In other words, I suppose you could say "HOW" foreign are they Even a hint of foreigness was the height of glamour growing up here in Ireladn. I had nothing to offer up on that score.

morocco · 06/09/2009 23:08

really you would be shocked rindercella? half the people I know aren't from the place they're living in now = it's not that awful a question surely? and we're all dead into family history apparently these days

mine are from all over the show, could bore for England about them. my surnames quite unusual so people sometimes ask about that. I don't see my arse

Original poster
MrsMerryHenry · 06/09/2009 23:08

I think some people on this thread are not understanding the point I'm making.

I don't have a problem with people wanting to know my ethnic origin. I'm black, so obviously my ethnicity derives from elsewhere. But so does everybody's on these islands.

Maybe I'll ask those of you who are white and British on this thread (ilikeyoursleeves: you can be excepted ): where do you originate from, ethnically? If you don't know, why not?

I think it's such a fascinating question yet so far almost none of the white people I've ever discussed this have ever found out!

I actually would love to know more about my African origins, and have copies of my family trees going back several generations. But with two dead parents, me not knowing the country especially well (and it is a tricky country to travel in), plus the general absence of written records, I don't hold out much hope. I would like to be genetically tested at some point, though it seems that on the whole there's far more ethnic variation in Europeans than in Africans, owing to centuries of migration.

OP posts:
LyraSilvertongue · 06/09/2009 23:09

It's rude because it's saying 'you're not British so what are you?' because I tell them the place in England that I'm from and they're like no, no, no, originally.
I consider myself to be British. i was born and brought up here. My parents were born elsewhere but were also brought up here.

moondog · 06/09/2009 23:09

I was somewhere recently discussing some kids we were involved in and read one name and said 'Oh he's Turkish!'. i knew because I lived in Turkey and saw it was a name from there.
The other people around me said 'Oh we wondered about him'
Why could they not just have asked??

CarGirl · 06/09/2009 23:09

So how can people ask?

What heritage have you got?

I mean you can be of African or Carribean heritage, if you are Black British (even if it's generations and generation of black british) or you could be some other fascinating mix of different "nationalities"

We have found a photo of one of dh's ancestors who was certainly not "white" so although several generations ago not that long ago for there to be a photo IYSWIM. It all rape and pillage and ancient cornish fishing cottages, being hung for ship wrecking etc etc.

nevergoogledragonbutter · 06/09/2009 23:09

i descend from colonial white fuckers who more than likely raped their black slaves and then died of syphilis.

it's difficult to be proud.

alwayslookingforanswers · 06/09/2009 23:09

nkewto - I know where my family were (both sides) 150yrs ago on one side - and just over 200yrs on the other side......

moondog · 06/09/2009 23:09

Get a grip Lyra.
Paranoia is an unnattractive quality.

Mumcentreplus · 06/09/2009 23:10

I had a friend in Secondary school she was black ..but born over whilst flying over China!..I just thinik it's amazing!

Original poster
MrsMerryHenry · 06/09/2009 23:11

MillyR - to give one fact about Celts, they originally come from Germany (via Spain, Ireland and finally Scotland). Hence my .

OP posts:
MillyR · 06/09/2009 23:11

Lyra, I can see that it is rude and why people don't want to be asked that question. But I don't get why there is an issue with people saying they are originally from England when asked the question back by the OP. Lots of people are only from England.

LyraSilvertongue · 06/09/2009 23:12

Prunerz, it's very different to ask where someone's parents came from. Or to ask where their name originates. these questions are asked out of interest, not out of 'you're not from round 'ere, are ya'.

ElectricElephant · 06/09/2009 23:12

oh god, i just googled 'dragonbutter'

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