To be worried that I will never find love if I admit to being feminist?

[poshsinglemum]

And ashamed to admit that I probably am one? It has a really bad press.
My version of it is to celebrate being a woman and feminity but to love men. It also includes EQUALITy for men and women.

So many women hate feminism or are ashamed of it . Why?

I agree skihorse.

poshsinglemum I would advise you get "The Beauty Myth" from the library and have a browse. OK, it's not heavy, heavy feminist lit - but it's a nice introduction and will get your blood boiling nicely. Might make you want to set fire to men rather than your bra though...

Yes, pretty much all the propaganda about how 'feminists' are mucky lesbos with hairy legs and severed willies in their pockets is started by men.
If you're not a feminist I presume you don't want to drive, vote, control your own money or go out of the house alone? And you support the right ofa man to have sex with you whenever he feels like it once he's married you?

BlingLoving - now I do find that really ing that women (even on MN) have advised you to be careful becoming the bread winner just in case you have to pay maintenence or fight for custody.

So its OK for the man to pay for the upkeep and have to give up custody of his children but not a woman? I know you don't think that way but just shows how far society still has to come on this issue.

ABetaDad I know - I get quite irritated about it really. It seems to completely defeat all the good work that has gone into meaning I can be the main breadwinner and I can be in a relationship where my DH is perfectly capable, willing and able to look after any children we may have. [he does think that the stay at home parent has the easier job - makes me laugh. Am looking forward to asking him his view after he's [been doing it for a while! ]

poshsinglemum I know you made a sweeping generalization about financial unstable men, I think that could be anybody who spends more than they earn is unreliable, male or female. You might have met my brother a lovable feminist to talk to but he spends more than he earns and never ever plans for the future. The first few months of a relationship everything is lovely for him and then he realises that the woman was only going out with him for a good time between picking more reliable souls or want's him save money and make plans. He says he is saving money then goes on an expensive holiday with the help of Visa! Rich men or women might want to control you as they control other parts of their lives you've got to get deeper.

Blingloving Oh bugger... only matter of time before my OH does a runner then. I went to uni and am a professional, he's got two GCSEs and isn't working right now. I'll ditch the job & buy a pinny (if he'll give me housekeeping obviously).

People who aren't feminists should feel ashamed to 'admit' it.

I am most definitely a feminist and have very firm views indeed - and I found love .

Feminism means knowing your own mind and being able to stand up for yourself and your own point of view using reasoned debate, negotiation and compromise.

It is not about being a bolshy man hater.

Bonsoir/thesecondcoming - I like what you both said. That is what I think modern feminism should be. I think you would get on well with my DW who really is quite fearless and fearsome but loves men.

you have to do each word seperately - you can't do a whole sentence. Annoys me too.

Oh FGS what exactly constitutes "bleating" about feminism as opposed to discussing, debating, examining, talking or any of the other non-loaded words one might use about it?

Thanks HB.

This really ticks me off too. 'Bleating' sounds like unnecessary whining.

Men don't 'bleat', they complain and debate.

It's like the word 'strident' - I've never heard that word applied to a man in my life. But apparently if women are outspoken or have a 'pet cause' then that's a bad thing.

How irritating.

Feminist and proud

How can striving for the equality of the entire human race be seen as a bad thing? Through the glass ceiling on onwards, I say.

When my DP wanted to go to a Germaine Greer talk for our third date, I knew it was love!

TSC: while some people bleat (it's a gender neutral term and one I frequently use about the likes of all those buckethead Christians who won't stop bleating about 'discrimination' (ie they have to be exposed to people who are not Christians and see such heathens being given THE SAME RIGHTS AS THEM WAAAAAAAHHH!) some accuse others of bleating, bitching, moaning when said others make any attempt to suggest that, you know, people who are not white/male/hetero/whatever-the-dominant-culture exist and that you're talking to one.
FWIW I have always found the biggest bleaters to be dumb mundanes who get terribly upset at the idea that anyone is Not LIke Them and might not believe in gods/male superiority/whatever bullshit they have just read in the tabloids.

Problem with being a feminist quietly is that often that means nothing changes.

Is it me or is "feminism" just a posh way of saying you are a lazy lesbian?

Lol!