to be jealous of other mothers?

[IREALLYDONTCARE]

I know I'm probably being silly but everywhere I go I see other mums looking so glam, regardless of whether they are SAHM or working or what. they have perfectly straight hair, long manicured nails, fake tans, latest fashions/jewelry, immaculate make up and their kids look tidy and fashionable - the little girls have bunches and dresses and lelli kelly's etc.

Me - I work full time and it's a mad rush to get ready, fed etc for work. Quite often my hair is frizzy, I do my make up quickly in the car, I shove toast in my mouth as I leave the door, dd (18 months) wriggles and cries if I try to put her in a dress or do her hair, I'm overweight and can't afford the latest fashions.

My mummy colleagues always look glam. If I have time off work, I make an effort to go to playgroups and the mums there are all neat and tidy and fashionable and calm looking.

I don't know how they do it! I get up early to give myself more time to get ready but never seem to be like them. It's actually rather depressing.

Anyone else feel like me?

Oh honey. I totally know how you feel. It doesn't help that my only close friend with kids is completely gorgeous and would look glam in a potato bag, whereas I am still carrying 40 pounds of baby weight and feel grotesque.

First off, short nails are "in" anyway. Just give 'em a quick polish! I've been struggling with this issue too, and my biggest problem is that I always tell myself "when I lose the weight" but I need to face that fact that it isn't going to happen tomorrow and there's no reason I need to wear sweatshirts til it does.

I agree with all the posters who talked about jewelrey-it does make you feel so much better!

If it takes an HOUR to 'preen' before someone is 'glam' enough to leave the house then the poor creature in question must be simply hideous au naturel.....

If it takes an HOUR to 'preen' before someone is 'glam' enough to leave the house then the poor creature in question must be simply hideous au naturel.....

Errm

fake tan
long manicured nails
lots of makeup
lelli kellies (yuk)
artifically straight hair

I don't find any of the above attractive or glam

I bet on the other hand that you look gorgeous

You have time to put on make-up ?

I prefer to spend the time MNing

Seriously, know how you feel, but I try really hard.

What's a WAG? And I don't know what lelli kellys are. Shall google and return!

Be careful of your eyes Cheerful - Lelli Kellies are HIDEOUS!!

boyngirl Actually there's some truth in the statement - enormous amounts of personal debt and "secretaries" stomping down a Medway high-street clutching a Louis Vuitton handbag in their perma-tanned, fake-nailed claws. Personal loans for tits. Women wearing fashion historically reserved for the very wealthy.

WTF are Lelli Kellies? Dare I google?

Two hours with a 18 month old, is like 2 minutes in real life, I know where you´re coming from.

Don´t accept to be bullied by your DD. She KNOWS you love her, and neglecting her for a few minutes will not scar her for life.

At that age I would give my DS a sippy cup (or sports cup, something non-leaking) with a smoothy (takes 2 minutes to make, eg milk with banana, or yoghurt, orange juice and a few berries)and some crackers. She´ll survive on that. Plonk her in front of telly for one DVD program (that has an ending time, one episode).

Now jump into shower, jump out. Slap on Nivea bodylotion with self tan (you build up colour gradually, so no scary streaks). Put on clothes. Brush hair, do teeth and a bit of make up (I find mascara and lipgloss take 1 minute, but take the edge of looking unkempt)

Never try to do big jobs like all over fake tan, hair blowing, nails in the morning. These can all be done in evening, in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Also, a seperate issue, your DD will ave to start learning to cope with "NO!". So NO! to touching hair dryer or insisting on "helping "you. NO! to her taking nail varnish. It is not unfair or cruel. It is not! She may cry. She may scream. It is all part of her learning about the real world and that there are limits.

At the risk of getting flamed, perhaps the time the other mums are spending looking after themselves, you are spending giving quality time to your dd. I know which I find more admirable.

I figure you have to work out what is most important to you and what little steps you can take to try to improve whatever you see needs work, then gradually build them in. I was amazed when I discovered I had time to cut my nails in the bathroom whilst ds was having his evening bath etc etc.

It does get easier as children get older. Hang in there & don't beat yourself up.

Has anyone thought of a playpen for the 18mo dd while OP gets dressed etc?

Or am I just stuck in the 1970s?

skihorse...

Sorry too much vino collapso last night.

But I still think that statment was way OTT and made me laugh. We're surely not talking about the caricture you paint - the call girl with her Looey Vooey bag, enormo tits and the evil, evil FAKE 'claws' who has brought this country to its knees.

For crumbs sake, there is a middle ground of women like me SHOCK HORROR have gel nails, straighten their hair and 'trendy clothes' (cringe - my dc would barf at that). I don't look tacky, I look pretty good for a nearly 40 year old who was v overweight and feeling rubbish a few years ago and now feels good about myself.

I think 'fake nails' is a code word for 'cheap/tacky' which is ludicriously over the top. And I think the OP used the fake nails of the women she professes to be jealous of as an example to get this exact response - you know 'who would want to be as VILE and cheap as that' blah de blah.

cheerfulyank - lelli kelly make horrible shoes fro children, advertised with a VERY ANNOYING SONG on Channel 5.

A WAG is a "Wife/Girlfriend", used in a footballing context - it is simply assumed that they all have them (which is interesting) and they go on tour with the footballers and spend their time glamming up, shopping, and generally going all the other things which people who have married money, have no discernible talent of their own and whole days to fill do.

What is a gel nail?

Tis the opposite of a boy nail.

All these people saying 2 hours is ages; well only if you are up to full speed when you wake up.

I am not organised or glamourous or anything other than GRUMPY in the mornings. And can't face breakfast until I get to work. It takes me ages to wake up, I have to have a shower before I feel human.

I think DD (nearly 3) has inherited this. Today I woke her up, then went back a couple of minutes later asking did she want to brush her teeth first or put clothes on first? She disgustly replied 'BED', rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. Girl after my own heart

We have a set of office communal hair straighteners though so if I have a meeting or something I can do my hair at work. So by the time I get to Poundland at lunchtime I might fool you that I'm organised, but I'm so not!

In our house, I'm up at 6.20am, showered and dressed by 6.45; DS in the shower at 6.46; DD in the shower at 6.55; all dressed and downstairs by 7.05, breakfast had, lunches made and everyone out the door by 7.30 to drop DS off at bus stop for school and DD to nursery and then go and park the car and the get the train at 8.00.

I'm not glam or anything, but I just make sure that the kids and I look smart when we go out the door.

millyr It's gel as opposed to acrylic although it sets hard of course and is "see-through" so you can see the natural colour of the nail bed. It's an attempt to make "fake nails" more socially acceptable and less tacky...

Gosh I didn't know my nails had to be 'socially acceptable'.

Snooty. And taking life a leeetle bit too seriously.

Am I the only person in the world that doesn't care about her nails? As long at they are clean what does it matter.
I think ALL painted fingernails look tacky and vain, but it seems I am in a distinct minority!!
Painted nails = too much time on your hands that could be used for something more interesting...

boyngirl Bah, it's whatever you find appropriate on the normal to minging scale! e.g., I spend half my life in breeches & stinking of horse poo - there are a LOT of people out there who would rather die than smell of horse or have dog-hair on the car seats! (This admission also goes some way to explain why false nails are not for me!)

Well from the other side of the coin, I have always loved clothes and whilst my nails etc aren't perfect, I always make an effort with my clothes. I wear mostly dresses and skirts and a lot of thought goes into my outfit every day.

We live in a rural village and all the other mothers lve in fleeces and jeans. They make such a big deal about my appearance it is ridiculous. I have no idea why it is thought that people in the country should be less well dressed that London and I have no idea why they are care so much about what I wear. As far as I'm concerned, they just need to get over it.

How dare you not care about my nails!!!!

It's all down to feeling good about yourself and if OP doesn't then that's a shame.

I look like shite on a stick when I'm not working btw.

my two top tips that made me feel a lot better are:

1. If pregnancy has made you norkilicious and jelly-bellied, then ditching t-shirts and going for "georgette" fitted blouses (that need no ironing ) looks a lot better; and

2. Having your eyelashes dyed once every month to 6 weeks costs around £12-£15 (here at least) and makes one look made up without actually having done more than put on moisturiser in the morning. I tried the home kit option and found it not as good.

After that (and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea) - exercise makes your skin glow and eyes shine - even before you start losing weight and looking toned. Tho this would be very hard if you're not getting much sleep anyway, so I'm not making it a top tip!

Apart from that - find some scummy mummy friends and revel in your scumminess together. Preferably while eating bisciuts and drinking lager...

boyngirl
"It's all down to feeling good about yourself and if OP doesn't then that's a shame"

I think you have hit the nail on the head. I make time for grooming (beauty salon I go offer late night appts so it doesn't interupt dc time) I feel good, so the rest of the family feel good

Isn't there a saying something about if mum's happy, the whole family is happy?