to be jealous of other mothers?

[IREALLYDONTCARE]

I know I'm probably being silly but everywhere I go I see other mums looking so glam, regardless of whether they are SAHM or working or what. they have perfectly straight hair, long manicured nails, fake tans, latest fashions/jewelry, immaculate make up and their kids look tidy and fashionable - the little girls have bunches and dresses and lelli kelly's etc.

Me - I work full time and it's a mad rush to get ready, fed etc for work. Quite often my hair is frizzy, I do my make up quickly in the car, I shove toast in my mouth as I leave the door, dd (18 months) wriggles and cries if I try to put her in a dress or do her hair, I'm overweight and can't afford the latest fashions.

My mummy colleagues always look glam. If I have time off work, I make an effort to go to playgroups and the mums there are all neat and tidy and fashionable and calm looking.

I don't know how they do it! I get up early to give myself more time to get ready but never seem to be like them. It's actually rather depressing.

Anyone else feel like me?

Were you happy with the way you looked before you had your DD? 18 months is an age when you can't take your eyes off them but it will get easier.
My tip is to have a bath at night and wash and straighten your hair before bed, then have 2 min shower in the morning wearing a shower cap and you'll only need a quick run through with straighteners.
Also think about what kind of clothes you feel best in then kind of make that your style. I like trousers or jeans (for casual) a plain white t-shirt and a long cardi or waistcoat. I then add bright beads or a scarf.
Works for me. Hope it helps you.

I'm sorry I agree that you have loads of time in the morning - I can't see why you feel that you don't have time to brush your hair.

I left the house at 7.40 this morning, having got 5 children ready (including my 16 mo old son). Most days my husband has gone to work before me.

i had make up on, had blow dried my hair and had some yoghurt for breakfast.

My tips:

I laid out all breakfast things last night
I laid out all clothes, including my own last night
I had a shower first and did my hair etc while dh took the children downstairs. They did all get dressed before breakfast (ds2 only because his nappy had leaked in the night)
I do my makeup downstairs while the dcs have breakfast etc- it does take some time usually with many interruptions, but I don't leave the house without it on.
No tv
dh does help until he goes to work. I usually spend an hour trying not to have food on me.
Wear high heels to work - it makes you look smarter, wear some jewellry.
Have your hair cut regularly - it does make you look more pulled together

I am not super fashionable - I am wearing trousers today that are about 4 years old, but I do think I look ok for a mum of 5!

You will have time in the evening too (I am guilty of not doing much of this btw as I am too tired) - have a bath, you can do fake tan, do nails etc then if you want.

I buy clothes on the internet quite alot as I don't have time to go out shopping.

I did slimming world to lose the baby weight (and there was loads!) that I put on with ds2.

Clemette - Thank you so much thats just what I needed!!

I am guilty of using the TV as a timer. Our mornings at the moment look like:

DH gets up with DS whatever time he wakes after 5.30. They play/eat fruit and sometimes DH loads the dishwasher.
DD wakes at about 7. She goes downstairs for a snack and a play.
They all come up at 7.30 when DH starts getting ready/showered. We all cuddle up in bed and watch Beebies (well, me and DD do, DS tries to bite/pinch us and then throws some stuff around). I then get up, switch the straighteners on, and get dressed. I challenge DD to get dressed/teeth brushed and hair brushed before Peppa Pig starts. While she is doing that I dress DS, and we brush each other's teeth (!). Then they watch Peppa while I slap on the make-up and straighten my hair. I always take my breakfast with me (supposed to be homemade, healthy muffins, is more often just a chocolate muffin) and I eat it once I have dropped them off.

some good tips, thank you. I do need to get more organised and get DH to help more. MrsBadger, you described him perfectly!

Did manage to see another mum in poundland during lunch, she was skinny with her hair tied back and highlighted, wearing jeans, check shirt and heels. She looked great although her wee boy stank of poo-y nappy so maybe not as organised as most mums I see lol

Will update youse with how tomorrow goes

I'm in Central Scotland too, you must have missed me in Poundland though because organized i am not. I am due dc2 in 2 weeks and i wonder how i will cope then lol.
I reckon short hair is the answer though. Everyone else i know can do their hair in minutes. It takes me ages because it is so thick and long.
As for make up, i have a good mascara and vascaline rosy lips for day time, and only wear more if im going out after ds is in bed.
We could start a Central Scotland Slummy Mummy support group lol.

but that poundland mum didn;t take any longer to put on her jeans / heels / check shirt than it took anyone else to put on tracksuit bottoms / fleece / trainers

she tied her hair up because it wasn't clean enough to leave loose and the highlights were done 6wks ago while her mum looked after her ds and she is painfully aware they need touching up

and she is only thin either because she spends so much time running around and is too busy to eat anything other than the kids' leftovers or because she is just naturally slim - slim parents, small appetite, luck of the genetic draw

Wash your hair two or three times a week at night so you have time to style it, use a shower cap the rest of the time. If your hair looks right no one notices anything else!

These glamorous other women are organised.

! I am organised. I have NEVER been glamorous - my hair just never does as it is told!

nobody notices anyway but it's how you feel about yourself.

Do what you need to do to make yourself feel better about yourself. Take ten minutes in the morning to make yourself feel like you have bothered, nice spray, moisturiser at the very least, lipstick, just so you feel you can face the world looking half decent.

How do people do anything with liong fingernails.
I bought some fake ones about ten years ago and couldn't hold a pen wearing them - god only knows how you would change a nappy!!

Washing in and out of dryers and washing machines in the morning? I would leave all that until the evening. Load the dish washer the night before. Make sure all clothes are left out the night before. You could do all this while your dh looks after pj's for your lo and entertains her before bed.
Leave some toys out for your lo so when you are drying your hair she's happy. Tinted foundation, powder and mascara for make up (5 mins max)
If you have a straightner then you don't need to dry your hair into a perfect style because the sraightner will fix it. Dry it roughly and it dries quicker.
Nails? Have a manicure every few weeks with a natural colour finish that you can fix at home if needed.
Oh and kick your dh in the bum as well

A friend told me that the hardest thing to get used to with fake and gel nails was wiping her arse! Lovely!
You don't want that do you?!

I was my hair twice a week. It's very thick so if I do it too often its too frizzy and dries out. I always wash it in the evening when the kids are asleep as it takes an hour to wash, dry and straighten. I keep my clothes simple. But as Kbear says accessories are the way to go. I always wear brightly coloured necklaces, bangles, bags and scarves. It doesn't matter if you're overweight! There is a lady near me who is about a size 18-20 and she is one of the most glamourous and stylish people I know. Wear a slight heel with your jeans will make you feel slimmer. It only takes a little effort!

Oy you lot I have fake nails and straightened hair and make no apologies! In fact I am v posh and successful (tee hee).
Seriously though I have got my getting ready down to a tee - it takes me 20 mins to shower, make up and do my hair. I do this while they are getting dressed/finishing breakfast or in summer hols watching telly.
It def makes me feel better about myself to look somewhere near glam for work, call me shallow, but it be true.
I am not really organised, I just am able to do things v quickly with no messing.
ps it is hard to pretty much anything with the fake nails but have never got poo on them, honest

ps my dc are older, 5 and 7.
pps my dd looks like a wild thing most the time, with unkempt hair, jeans and tees - it's all about me!!!

Oh LOL MrsBadger at your DD and Dancing Queen in the car. My DD always asks for Dancing Queen in the car

Me and my stylish but lazy colleagues were just talking about this last week! Here are our tips:

• wear dresses as much as possible - they look more glam for less effort than anything else, and you get rid of the worry of trying to co-ordinate. In winter, wear dresses, tights and boots. Approx time to put on dress - 30 seconds
• always put on one piece of statement jewellery on, either a bangle, earrings or necklace. This fools people into thinking you are glamorous. If you have all your jewellery on display (e.g. hung on hooks on back of cupboard door), you can pick appropriate ones each morning. Approx time - 15 seconds.
• look at everything you own at least twice a year. Would you buy it if you saw it in a charity shop? If not, throw it out / cut it up into rags. The aim should be to send clothes to charity shops at a point when someone else would still buy it.
• make sure your shoes are clean and in good repair. DHs and DCs can (apparently) be persuaded with tact that shoe cleaning is their responsibility
• make-up does make a massive difference, and needs only take approx 2 mins to do foundation, blusher on cheeks and eyes, mascara and lipstick
• make sure you have both a winter and summer coat in good condition (e.g. not with frayed cuffs and collar) and which fit and suit you. Then make sure your handbag matches. If possible, get two handbags and two scarves to match each coat, so you can ring the changes.
• put a mirror and hairbrush in your hallway (e.g. in coat cupboard). Check yourself briefly before you go out.

it will be easier when your youngest gets more independent. i am scruffy most of the time, but would recommend: Capsule wardrobe only containing clothes that fit well and suit you (also means I have to get on with the washing and ironing or I run out of clothes and this is actually much easier, having less stuff to choose from but all good stuff); i do basic make up only when I feel like it - mineral foundation, eyeliner and eye gloss thing; a good coat; nice chunky necklaces and bangles to co-ordinate with capsule wardrobe; a good pair of boots for the winter, but moslty I live in trainers or boat shoe type things. do you have hair you can just shower,mousse and leave to dry, cos I find mine dries over b'fast when i bother to do it and actually makes me feel better without much effort. P.S. a very glamorous young Mum at school was laughing at herself last term because she hadn't had time to get her pre-schooler dressed for the school run, so was carrying her in her pyjamas 'but at least my make up is done and my hair straightened'.

To which I would add: invest in regular very good haircuts and avoid colour if you can as it constantly needs retouching and is much harder to care for than natural hair.

it's true, a 2hr slot of time to yourself to get dressed, made up, hair dried etc???? What would one have to do with ones dc to enable that? Strap them down? Lock em in a cupboard? Jeez, of a morning, i'm lucky to get a flaming shower without ds popping in.. He's getting better, but i can honestly say that i've only managed to blow dry my hair 5 times since last november....

Oh and fake nails are hideous, in the days when they first came out, and were impossible to find places that did them, (early 90s) i did have a few sets done, but now everyone knows what they are, the novelty is gone, and imho it just makes the wearer look shallow. Most of my wardrobe is boxed up, awaiting shipping back to the uk, so i have very little scope to play with, but with a bit of a reliance on basic staple items, and cheap, but stunning looking necklaces etc, as long as your hair is clean, tied back if it's frizzy, abit of the ol' slap, and you smell nice, that's kind of all you need.

I know exactly how you feel, am cross i've put on weight since i've come back home, but i'm trying to be as firm but as kind with myself as i can. I've been so badly traumatised by my time in overseas hell, i'm tackling one thing at a time, cigs are gone for the last 6wks, i'm in my own place now, am mostly able to go outside without panicking, herbal remedy sometimes, but mostly i'm just braving it. Sorry, i digress op, you seem to be being really hard on yourself. Take one thing at a time.

You're doing the routine; being where you're supposed to be, pretty much when you're supposed to be. If you're weight's stressing you a little perhaps try slimfast for a couple of weeks, i just bought some today.. Then at least you know what you're having for breakfast etc! Lol! Good idea to lay clothes out for yourself and the dc the night beforehand, i used to do that when i commuted into london for work, it really does relieve some of that godawful morning pressure!

Some people can do it all-some people can fake doing it all-and most people give it their all and hope for the best.
You fall into the latter-nothing wrong with that. If you are happy as mummy to your daughter then be happy with that.