to be jealous of other mothers?

[IREALLYDONTCARE]

I know I'm probably being silly but everywhere I go I see other mums looking so glam, regardless of whether they are SAHM or working or what. they have perfectly straight hair, long manicured nails, fake tans, latest fashions/jewelry, immaculate make up and their kids look tidy and fashionable - the little girls have bunches and dresses and lelli kelly's etc.

Me - I work full time and it's a mad rush to get ready, fed etc for work. Quite often my hair is frizzy, I do my make up quickly in the car, I shove toast in my mouth as I leave the door, dd (18 months) wriggles and cries if I try to put her in a dress or do her hair, I'm overweight and can't afford the latest fashions.

My mummy colleagues always look glam. If I have time off work, I make an effort to go to playgroups and the mums there are all neat and tidy and fashionable and calm looking.

I don't know how they do it! I get up early to give myself more time to get ready but never seem to be like them. It's actually rather depressing.

Anyone else feel like me?

sounds like your redy for a change.
get thee over to style and beauty

today i made an effort and have felt good allday.

Hey at least you get time to put make up on - I dont bother with that! haha

Once upon the time, I used to make sure I was made up before going to work. Now I'm a cm and mother of 2 (5) and (2). Well it all went down the hill. Sometimes I'm sad because I really look crap, dont really bother with make up anymore apart from bronzer and skin corrector (well I have a bit of acnee!)..I'm at school everyday and I can see some mum are looking really glam ! And I'm friend with most of them ! I dont think they give a crap about how I look, we go out often together, we get drunk together...I accept myself and everybody accept the way I am ! And honestly I couldnt give a monkey about what they think about me !! My dd1 tells me I'm beautiful everyday !!!!!!!!!

Sorry what I meant is that if my appearence mattered to other people, well I dont give a s~~~~t ! Life is too short !

I know one mum, she looks like Christmas tree because she is single and always looking for boyfriend. just sad.

Reallydon'tcare - Please don't compare yourself to other women....its just not worth it. I know this is an "am i being unreasonable" thread, and I don't think you are in the slightest bit unreasonable to feel how you feel, but female envy/jealousy is so effing destructive and can really eat you up.

Seriously, judge yourself by standards YOU set yourself, not what another woman looks like, its pointless.

I think 2 hours is ages. I have dd4 and ds 18 months. I have breakfast when they do, stick them in front of tv in bedroom or with dh while i quickly shower and get dressed. 3 mins max for some bronzer/blusher,mascara and lipgloss and you;re transformed. If around DH gets them dressed. Do nails and a bit of tan-moisturiser at bedtime. And definately a regular haircut. I have a mobile hairdresser come to the house which saves time and a ton of money.

and definately clear out old crap clothes. If you don't own it you can't wear it!! Mix and match is the way to go...and once autumn/winter is here a decent coat will suffice as no-one will have a clue what's on underneath

Oh - and definatley cut dd's hair - mine was a nightmare too, hated brushes, bobbles etc to short bob, dead easy and looks great!

Get a haircut that works with what your hair wants to do. No straightening irons. Wash every 2 or 3 days and always blow dry but if the blow dry takes more than 15mins you need to change hairstyle!

Get your make up revamped - I recommend Benefit for a make over. Ask for a 5 to 10 minute routine. This is plenty of time to look great.

Gok your wardrobe amd invest in good (but inexpensive) accessories and wear them. Plan your outfit the night before.

Fake tan and fake nails are truly vile and therefore stop aspiring to these.

Don't allow your dd to eat in PJs, but when your dd is eating put her in a bib which has arms. Then she will look pristine after the meal.

FAKE NAILS ARE NOT VILE! They can look chav if they're too long and bright red or French manicured a la Jordan, not if short and neat in natural colour. It's about wanting to be well groomed, feel professional and attractive, not WAGish.

And why can't you feel good about yourself for all the right reasons ie inner confidence, happiness, enjoying dc etc AND aspire to looking great on outside too?

Appearance does matter imo (but obviously not as much as above mentioned proper stuff...she says quickly).

" they have perfectly straight hair, long manicured nails, fake tans, latest fashions/jewelry, immaculate make up " ----
sorry, you are mistaking trashy for 'glam' unless 'glam' is the polar opposite of elegance...

short, clean, well shaped and if desired freshly polished nails beat fake nails any day of the weak.

Well groomed means exactly that, that you've cared for yourself, not gluing on some plastic! It's shallow and worthless, real beauty is taking real pride in what you have, not sticking bits and pieces on.

Get manicures and pedicures by all means if you've time, money or inclination, but it's hardly rocket science, we can all find half an hour, even if we have to lock the bathroom door once the dcs are in bed.

The fake tan, fake nails, fake tits, teeth and hair brigade is the idiotic bb instant celebrity mentality that fuelled the excesses that tipped our economies over the edge.

Have to agree that fake nails are not vile, if they are done tastefully.

groundhogs - I know what you say about sticking on bits of plastic, but what is the difference between doing that, and say, having eyelashes tinted, or hair coloured? It wouldn't matter how well groomed I am, I will always feel better with mascara on.

You have my sympathies here! I have 4 children aged 8 and under including a very ahem inquisitive lively 2 yr old. He would have me walk around like a hag if I let him.

Finally I have started to look a bit better - what solved it was giving myself a main task to do each night when the kids are in bed, eg., ironing. Thursday night it is my beauty routine. On that night I shave, exfoliate, moisturize, self tan, colour hair, bikini line, nails. If I'm in a rush, eg., my school work (I'm a teacher) I just do one or two of these.

I also have a mobile hairdresser come to do all our hair every 6 weeks, I have my eyebrows waxed at a beauticians every half term, I only wash my hair every 2 or 3 days, so I do just one main straighten and then tidy up for the next few days.

You may have to play around with your dd's routine to work out the best way to keep her happy. Could she and you have breakfast straight away before any dressing getting ready goes on? Sometimes little ones are so hungry they get cranky and this is no good for you while you're trying to get dressed.

Best of luck xxx

fake tans and lelli kelli shoes...?

enough said

"I do my make up quickly in the car, I shove toast in my mouth as I leave the door, dd (18 months) wriggles and cries if I try to put her in a dress or do her hair, I'm overweight"

OP, but read that again with fresh eyes.

What example are you setting your DD? What do you think that she will be like as an adult if she grows up with this messing about?
You are the adult in this relationship. Do her (and yourself) a favour: put your foot down, take charge and get a routine.

if a woman's idea of priorities is to spend an hour a day preening herself before she can leave the house, then something's wrong!

I've got work tomorrow and I know my morning routing won't take more than 20 mins including a shower, make-up, hair, everything, and I'm not some kind of wookie/cave dweller who just chucks on 'sweats' for ease.

IMO anybody who spends more than about 30-40 mins getting ready just needs to speed up a bit.

wow, that was harsh. apologies.

Rory, that was possitively lovely for MN! Are you new?

Who the heck wants a fake tan and long nails? To me that's not glamorous, it's just tacky.

I give mums with fake tan and false nails a wide berth... terrible. I'd rather wear a few extra pounds than a fake tan, far classier!!

OMG at fake nails etc pushing economy of the edge!!!!
LOL LOL!

I agree that you need to show your dd who's the boss!!

You don't get to finish your hair because she wants to play with the dryer???

Come on!! Give her something else to distract her!!

I get up at 7.15, wake dd & ds, (4 and 7) by about 7.30 they are at the breakfast table eating their cereal.

7.50 they are getting dressed whilst I am putting make up on (I will have showered either before waking them or whilst they eat cereal)

8am they are dressed, they then get teeth cleaned, faces washed, hair brushed/gelled etc...

They can then have 15 mins of TV if they are dressed with coats/shoes on etc and have their schoolbags at the back door ready to go at 8.30!

I do leave uniform out the night before, as well as my clothes for work. My staple is black trousers...boring I know, but everything matches black trousers!! I have some fab shoes though!! Lovely red ones, bright pink ones, fantastic brown with orange and green autumn colours... and plain black for court days.. though I wear the pink to add a splash of colour too!

2 hours is loads of time... If I were you I'd try cutting down on dds demands & spend the extra half hour in bed

runnyhabit, oh of course hair dye and eyelash colour are nothing like the fake nails, i'm all for making the best of what we've got, but i think the nail, perma tan, cosmetic surgery thing has just got way out of hand, becoming some kind of bad taste norm, and it's just silly.

Thing is, no matter how short ones own nails are, as long as they're even, well filed, clean, you can still paint them and they'll look better than fake nails any time of the day or night.

I'm a Scummy Mummy too - who cares?