it really irritates me when people say their baby is flirting

[koolaid]

at adult members of the opposite sex.

As in "oh DS was flirting with all the health visitors at the doctors today"

When all the baby did was smile/gurgle at someone who was showing them a lot of attention, in the way that babies do.

And always said about their DS, no-one who say the same thing about their baby girl.

It just really irks me. AIBU?

never heard it said (thank god)

no children dont flirt,adults erroneously attribute positive interactions as flirting.
part of the creeping sexualisation of childhood

flirting is use of sexuality, children lack that potency and volition to use sexuality as a bargaining tool

You are getting all caught up in jargon and missing the point and hence contradicting yourself SM

Why are adults so frightened of children's sexuality?

....why are adults frightened of childrens sexuality..?

what do you mean..?

"Adults do project their sexual feelings and beliefs on to children, like for example imagining that they are flirting when they are being friendly."

No, because I think that all the people on this thread who use the term "flirting" said they use it in a non-sexual way. How is that projecting sexual feelings onto children?

yes freud is of historical interest,nowt else. Freud much loved by quacks and beard scratchers

Small children masturbate because they enjoy sexual feelings too...

It's not something I would say.
(It is the sort of thing my mum might say though).
I don't know about it always meaning in a sexual context...
you can flirt with an idea, like I might flirt with the idea of taking up a beekeeping course.

exactly soupy. if we as adults can flirt in a non-sexual way (as i do all the damn day... ) then so can children and we're projecting nothing.

you beekeeping slaaaaaaaaag, paisley!

Gives me a buzz anyway.

lol

I think everyone gets concerned when talking about childrens sexuality as they think this is talking about 'sex'. But sexuality in a developmental context has a much broader meaning.

It's related to intimacy, attachment, relationships, attraction to othrs, realistaion of others attraction to you, physical pleasure, in many differnt ways.

Some of this deveoplemt of sexuaity will become increasingly conscious, finally resulting in adult sexual behaviour, feelings and thoughts as adolescents, but much of sexual development is at an unconscious, instinctive, learning level that exists and develops with us from babies onwards as part of our essential human nature.

I am very concerned about the sexualisation of children in society, but am happy to acknowledge that children are sexual beings, but we need to be very clear what we mean by that or it appears a dangerous idea.

I'd never talk about a baby flirting, as to me flirting is associated with adult sexual behaviour, but I can defeinitly see that babies and children enage in the type of behaviour which Aitch and BosoirAnna describe whioch is sexual in nature within its broad meaning.

an A1 idiot would know that "flirting" is used in the sexual context...99% of the time..

I don't think anyone flirts in a non-sexual way.

There's friendly, and there's flirting.

People joke and smile and are friendly. That's non-sexual but it's not flirting.

Flirting is sexual. And it's smiling and being friendly but also touchy feely and a look in your eye like something might, just might, be happening between you, or could happen between you - there's a possibility there - or the illusion of one, because flirting is often not leading anywhere, but it's still that hint of something in the air and that's what makes it different from friendliness and that's what makes it different from what children do!

there's a subtlety there that might be getting missed.

well presumably that depends on your definition of flirting, hecate. clearly for a lot of people it isn't sexual, there is simply no promise whatsoever.

wow hecate...you've been there girl...

I didn't say there was a promise. That would suggest that flirting must inevitably lead to sex.

flirting is rooted in sexuality.an adult transactional relationship with a sender and a recipient.so even if the expression is globally being applied by some to mean social rapport/social interaction,what they are describing isn't flirting

Oh FFS

flirting with someone means you'd like something sexual to happen, but know it never will....(imo)

What about the term "Flirting with danger"?

Hmm..no I don't think I especially appreciate it as a description for a baby or child either, but I can't say I have heard it before.

Mil described dd(7) as doing 'sexy dancing' the other day. I really really didn't like that at all. I think it's ghastly to describe children in those terms.