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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

it really irritates me when people say their baby is flirting

259 replies

koolaid · 30/08/2009 22:49

at adult members of the opposite sex.

As in "oh DS was flirting with all the health visitors at the doctors today"

When all the baby did was smile/gurgle at someone who was showing them a lot of attention, in the way that babies do.

And always said about their DS, no-one who say the same thing about their baby girl.

It just really irks me. AIBU?

OP posts:
bruffin · 31/08/2009 11:13

I used to get the train upto the City once a week when DD was a baby and she definitely flirted with the men on the train, another lady commented on it in a nice way.

She used to flutter her eyelids usually at men across the carriage and she used to have all of them talking to her. Even a student who said he couldn't stand babies,but apparently DD had "character".

There was no other word for it, she was flirting with them.

WidowWadman · 31/08/2009 11:17

My daughter is a total flirt, but I've never seen this as a sexual term in this context.

Bubbaluv · 31/08/2009 11:22

Freud would have loved this thread.

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 31/08/2009 12:12

interesting, kathy. so i guess what you're saying is that the people who have a problem with it are projecting their own ishoos onto it?

BouncingTurtle · 31/08/2009 12:15

I often descibe my ds (20 months) as a flirt, as he is always smiling and charming people - certainly don't mean in a sexual way!

I hate it when people call the babies sexy though, that is creepy.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 31/08/2009 12:20

Oh YABU, this is so sad. My DS LOVES pretty women- he's 15 months old and he giggles at random pretty women who happen to walk past, tries to talk to them, bats his eyelashes, goes shy if they respond, and puckers up for a kiss. It looks like flirting. We say he's flirting. We laugh, they laugh. It's cute. Get over it.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 31/08/2009 12:22

And to try and make it into a sex thing is even sadder. It's not. It's a joke. Lighten up.

StripeySuit · 31/08/2009 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany · 31/08/2009 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

baskingseals · 31/08/2009 16:46

I agree with the op, people might use the word innocently, but it does have sexual connotations, and I don't think it should be used to describe the behaviour of very young children.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 17:25

social rapport,engagement and affirmative interactions are all normal developmental milestones.it is most certainly not flirting

flirting is an interaction using sexuality (real or anticipated) for gain or response

children dont flirt

dogofpoints · 31/08/2009 17:34

I have never heard anyone say a baby is flirting. They must be daft people what say that

dogofpoints · 31/08/2009 17:36

I do not think it's a useful word in this context. It's just straightforward communication, not 'flirting'. Cringe-a-rama

scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 17:36

well in that case there are many dafties on this thread.maintaining babies flirt

dittany · 31/08/2009 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dogofpoints · 31/08/2009 17:43

flirting is sexy

BonsoirAnna · 31/08/2009 17:45

I don't know about babies, but my DD fell head over heels in love with a 20 year older waiter in a hotel when she was 20 months old! She was literally obsessed with him and spent most of the holiday hanging out in the restaurant in fetching outfits trying to attract his attention...

scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 17:48

flirting is using sexuality or suggestion of it

babies and children don't flirt

adults erroneously describe children's affirmative interactions as flirting

Morloth · 31/08/2009 17:49

I think it is possible to overthink these things. The word "flirting" is just one of those flexible words.

Sexy is a bit weirder because I haven't really heard it used in any other way than the original.

BonsoirAnna · 31/08/2009 17:50

You make it sound as if flirting were always a conscious choice, scottishmummy.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 17:53

conscious or unconscious flirting is use of sexuality. certainly one may have a frisson or attraction and consciously flirt. conversely one may have unconscious attraction and flirt

but undeniably flirting is rooted in sexuality

BonsoirAnna · 31/08/2009 17:56

And children are sexual beings too!

scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 17:58

yes but lacking the volition and intent of adults.

but adult and children sexuality is different

yes children have emergent sexuality,and developmental milestone, this is a transition.they are not same as adults

BonsoirAnna · 31/08/2009 17:59

Children can flirt, then - they are unconscious of their sexual feelings and hence flirt without intent. It's still flirting!

pigsinmud · 31/08/2009 18:00

I notice everyone talks about their baby "flirting" with a member of the opposite sex. My children, as babies, wanted attention from men or women. My daughters never "flirted" with men more than women. Sorry, but I find that phrase revolting.

YANBU - I always hated that phrase in reference to children. Using the word "sexy" with a child is unbelievable.