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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at a good friend for benefit fraud...

174 replies

Treil · 28/08/2009 14:48

She is a single Mum claiming to stay at home but has at least 3 cash in hand jobs that I know of. It's not just about the morality of it, i'm also really worried about her ending up in serious trouble. The longer this goes on (4 years now) the more cash in hand work she does and the more she seems to expect and feel 'entitled' to. I have tried talking to her but she is very defensive and seems able to justify it to herself at least. It is badly affecting our friendship.

Meanwhile my partner and I are working hard, paying taxes and have the current economic climate hanging over our heads, it just doesn't seem right somehow ...

Would really like to get some perspective on this and welcome your views/experiences. I can't even talk to my partner about it because he is more wound up than me and would probably report her.

OP posts:
violethill · 29/08/2009 20:43

'Maybe parents with young children want to be home with them. '

Maybe some of the hundreds of thousands of parents with young children who work and pay taxes lawfully would like that too. Very strange line of argument.

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 20:49

Yeah sure. You might be qualified but working for minimum wage wouldn't be worth leaving your child for would it.

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 20:51

Blah blah taxes blah blah lawfully. Judge away, I can't be arsed. I'm always proud of myself reading these threads TBH

mondaymonday · 29/08/2009 20:55

I don't really see why people are praising whethergirl's post so highly

That list of things you refer to contain many which I refer to as luxuries for myself, and I work full time (on a very good wage too, but with high childcare costs). I don't always have money to go out at weekends, have people round for food etc. I often choose between what I can afford in terms of things on your list, yet you feel it is your right to be able to do all these while claiming benefits. That doesn't seem right to me

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 20:59

Going out on weekends is a luxury, but everyone should have money to take their child to the cinema, or be able to afford bus fare.

mondaymonday · 29/08/2009 21:07

I agree, but surely treats are for when there is money left in the pot, not just something you feel you should be entitled to as and when. I've turned down invites through not having enough money that week, surely this is fairly normal on a restricted income?

expatinscotland · 29/08/2009 21:08

Where are all these councils that have brand news houses for their tenants?

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 21:12

But when that resticted income is combined with the feeling of suffocation and hopelessness, it leads to mental health issues. Obviously for workers on low incomes aswell, who must wonder what they're struggling for, being a tenner better off in work is just not fair.

fishie · 29/08/2009 21:15

dance classes and ponies on benefit fraud?

bunch of criminals.

Ninks · 29/08/2009 21:17

I used to be a bit about the parents of the children I taught who were on benefits.

I was really quite jealous of them when I was forking out for a CM and missed all DD's first year milestones as a LP.

Was really skint too. No money for any sort of luxuries.

Then I quit my job and went on benefits and my GOD it opened my eyes. And I was lucky because I could earn the permitted £20 per week in one hour, tutoring.

My boiler broke in a freezing February when DD was a toddler and I was refused a social fund loan to get it fixed because I owned my house. Barely owned it, I couldn't sell it or pay the mortgage.

I did extra tutoring to get the money, scum that I was!

What people forget, when they are slating people on benefits is that they have the security of a home which until very recent times would have been amassing equity at a rapid rate. I bought mine for £33K and sold it six years later for £70K FGS so I was rather well-off when it did sell.

So there's that, and maybe a pension or pensions, and savings, and life-insurance. I cashed mine in for a fraction of what it was worth when I quit teaching but it fed DD for a bit when the house sale was going through and benefits were cut off before the money arrived in my account.

I have always been lucky enough to have a "buffer" of 1K or less. How people manage when tax credits and housing benefit or income support fuck up I don't know. And the times when they are MOST likely to do so is when some poor single woman with children is wanting to go out to work.

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 21:21

I managed by begging tenners and fivers from my Dad, and eating plain pasta, when I was left without IS FOR 2 PISSING MONTHS WITH A NEWBORN TO LOOK AFTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, that's better, breathe Junglist
Ninks at "scum that I was" I like your posting style

Ninks · 29/08/2009 21:29

No IS for 2 months with a newborn

junglist we fraudsters should stick together I think

expatinscotland · 29/08/2009 21:31

I used to be the 'report 'em' type. Now, I just don't give a toss.

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 21:31

If we pool our resources we could get a pony

fishie · 29/08/2009 21:33

ninks and junglist, you aren't committing benefit fraud though? (i hope)

fishie · 29/08/2009 21:35

i mean FRAUD not bloody jobseekers for newborns.

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 21:37

No I'm not on benefits get student loans now. I did cash in hand waitressing back in the day though. Disclaimer: it was quite irregular and only a fiver an hour

Ninks · 29/08/2009 21:39

fishie I did once, earn more than the government allowed me to.

Because my house had no heat in February and it was minus stupid outside and the person who told me I wasn't allowed a loan suggested I leave clambering toddler DD's cot next to an open and firing gas oven all night so she'd be warm

And that's wrong because?

Dominique07 · 29/08/2009 21:42

I think you should send her a fake letter to scare her!!!

She needs to phone the local jobcentre for an appointment to:

reporting any savings and income

report they have started work, or started to earn money

or report they have inherited money

Or maybe that would just be mean!

Even if she calls the number they would just be confused, but it might make her start to be a bit more honest!?!?

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 21:43

Why, what a brilliant suggestion. The people that work in these places are the salt of the earth, they really are. If I had half their common sense I'd be a happy lady

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 21:46

Gasp at Dominique but also
How come I'm enjoying this thread normally I'd be spitting blood by now

Dominique07 · 29/08/2009 21:50

But to be honest if she is telling you about it, she probably wants guidance from you.

On the other hand if she is getting angry with you then she sounds very confident that she can do what she likes!
Hence I think she deserves a scare!

Ninks · 29/08/2009 21:52

ROFL jung

Gives me the chills to think about the other people she advised though...

At the time I knew a wanker-banker who was very keen on me. He was repulsive but if I'd married him it would have been all above board.

Despite me thinking that I should be announcing every shag to the Inland Revenue due to my self-employment as a glorified hooker

junglist1 · 29/08/2009 21:53

The letter would have to contain loads of meaningless twaddle to be authentic.

Dominique07 · 29/08/2009 21:58

and arrive in a brown envelope

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