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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at a good friend for benefit fraud...

174 replies

Treil · 28/08/2009 14:48

She is a single Mum claiming to stay at home but has at least 3 cash in hand jobs that I know of. It's not just about the morality of it, i'm also really worried about her ending up in serious trouble. The longer this goes on (4 years now) the more cash in hand work she does and the more she seems to expect and feel 'entitled' to. I have tried talking to her but she is very defensive and seems able to justify it to herself at least. It is badly affecting our friendship.

Meanwhile my partner and I are working hard, paying taxes and have the current economic climate hanging over our heads, it just doesn't seem right somehow ...

Would really like to get some perspective on this and welcome your views/experiences. I can't even talk to my partner about it because he is more wound up than me and would probably report her.

OP posts:
londonartemis · 28/08/2009 18:49

report her. You can do it anonymously. I have reported a family memeber for tax evasion. Amounts to the same thing - the taxpayer is being fleeced.

MummyDragon · 28/08/2009 18:55

OtterinaSkoda - she is evading tax, as she is doing 3 cash-in-hand jobs and not declaring any of them

shineoncrazydiamond - aren't you a police officer??? And you are condoning breaking the law? Good grief. Times must have changed since my DH was in the Met.

And no, I don't read the DM.

I don't pay tax so that someone can evade paying their own tax and rip me off in order to pay for their pony, which I couldn't afford to pay for myself out of my own taxed income! I pay tax to fund health care, education, policing, benefits for people who really need them (and I am glad to do so, and I believe that it is my civic duty to do this) ... but and under no circumstances can a pony fall under the definition of "need." And if it's OK for this woman to do 3 tax-free jobs and claim benefits too, why shouldn't we all do it? And where would that leave us as a society? Or is it OK for everyone to have a "Sod it, noone will find out, I only care about myself" attitude? Honestly, please think this through to its logical conclusion.

And have a lovely weekend!

violethill · 28/08/2009 19:00

Ah we've reached the 1984 line..... PMSL

preciouslillywhite · 28/08/2009 19:10

I pay very little attention to what other people do, MummyDragon, because it's not my business. I think life's too short/busy to be getting your knickers in a twist about other people. Plus benefit fraud is a piss in the ocean.

It's not ok for this woman to do commit bf- but it's equally not ok for friends to grass up friends.Let the fraud people find her themselves- it's their job, after all.

TheCrackFox · 28/08/2009 19:17

You might well do her a favour by reporting her. If this goes on much longer she could well end up with a prison sentence.

Benefit fraud may well be a "piss in the ocean" but the UK is now paying more out in benefits alone than it is getting from income tax.

preciouslillywhite · 28/08/2009 19:19

And if you report her, she might end up with a prison sentence as well...

mmrsceptic · 28/08/2009 19:20

crackfox that is very i did not know that

how can that possibly be true?

anyway, yes op, you need to do something about it

preciouslillywhite · 28/08/2009 19:25

That "fact" was quoted in the Telegraph as a bit of conjecture from a fund manager (Google it if you can be arsed- I'm too thick to do links). It sounds good, so Channel 4 picked up on it. And now everyone's quoting it as Fact.

I'd be a bit wary of it tbh...

...but then I would wouldn't I

Mumcentreplus · 28/08/2009 19:32

If you want to report her do it..but tbh I wouldn't but thats me I personally don't condone stealing from the state but my opinion is if it's money going towards another human and not to kill another human (which my tax money does without my consent) I'm not losing any sleep over it does that make me a bad person?...I don't think so in the grand scheme of things .it's down to your individual conscience you spend time with her drinking her 'stolen' tea/coffee whilst nibbling a 'stolen' biscuit or 2 if it upsets you be honest with her..if you can't be friends then don't ..if she's important to you then perhaps before you tell you could be woman enough to give her the oppotunity to declare or stop claiming..I work hard and have always paid tax but I don't that life..

mmrsceptic · 28/08/2009 19:36

but surely we can find out
surely we don't have to rely on conjecture

it seems incredible

RumourOfAHurricane · 28/08/2009 19:36

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preciouslillywhite · 28/08/2009 19:40

mmrsceptic...a lot of the benefits roll comes off National Insurance and not income tax. That's what NI is for...

...I think [dopey face]

(my dopey face, not yours, of course!)

mmrsceptic · 28/08/2009 19:42

no i can do dopey
am doing it now

am stroking my dopey beard.. all this very interesting

preciouslillywhite · 28/08/2009 19:43

shiney I didn't know you were a copper. You sound wise and sensible, yet firm.

You couldn't come over here and sort out the kids on my street, could you? They're driving me fucking nuts

Mumcentreplus · 28/08/2009 19:47
RumourOfAHurricane · 28/08/2009 19:48

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RumourOfAHurricane · 28/08/2009 19:49

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ilovemydogandmrobama · 28/08/2009 19:52

What I don't understand about the program, 'Saints and Scroungers' is that one of the men caught was working as a door man which wasn't cash in hand, so his details would have been known to Inland Revenue, right?

chegirl · 28/08/2009 19:53

It is one thing doing a bit of cleaning and getting the odd 20 quid , it is quite another to be keeping a fecking pony!

She is nuts, she will get caught eventually. They [DWP]can go into your bank accounts and have loads of powers to check out your circumstances.

Its pretty hard to report a friend and I am not sure that I would be able to do it tbh. But dont feel envious of her and what she has. It is not really hers and its all very transient, it could be gone in a second.

I was on income support in the early 90s when my DD and DS1 were babies. It was vile. I only just scraped by. It was surviving not living. I can never understand why anyone would choose benefits as a way of life. We rely on quite a few top up benefits and things like DLA because our income is v.low (we both work part time). I still bloody hate it and I feel insecure all the time because I know it only takes one letter in a brown envelope and our income can be halved.

I am very grateful for what we do get. We have both paid in since we were 16 ish but it still doesnt feel right.

preciouslillywhite · 28/08/2009 20:03

I worked in social housing for years. Most of the old timers working there just shrugged about people doing crap p/t jobs and signing on, and were of the view that it is very difficult to survive on benefits.

We worked on a "don't ask" basis and never grassed anyone up, either. We were more concerned about "Benefit Cheat Hotlines" and the like as these had the potential to cause/fuel horrible neighbour disputes

random · 28/08/2009 20:32

If the people on here would report a friend ..I wouldn't like to be their enemy...

Ronaldinhio · 28/08/2009 20:43

What purpose would it serve to report her...?

How she lives her life is her business and leave well alone.
Each one of us fiddles something, be it cash in hand, expenses, pilfering left overs when on a diet, mileage

At least your conscience will be clear over this matter and hope that when you need her understanding she'll reciprocate

scottishmummy · 28/08/2009 20:45

wouldn't like the decit but wouldn't necessarily report

junglist1 · 28/08/2009 20:46

I've lived on income "support" and did a few days in the local cafe cash in hand. Being on benefits is no joke. It's OK to say benefit scum like us shouldn't have a TV or a phone and we should walk everywhere if you haven't been there. I had no washing machine so had to balance a binliner full of washing on top of my then toddler DS in his buggy to spend money I didn't have in the laundrette. At 9 months pregnant I was carrying weekly shops home up a hill crying with exhaustion and pain because I had no cab fare. That's the reality of income support for single parents. OK 3 jobs on the side is taking the proverbial a bit, but I still wouldn't report, no.

junglist1 · 28/08/2009 20:47

Oh I know nobody said anything about TV's or phones was just incoherent whittering

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