to think that this isn't a joke at all its flirting, and totally inapropriate???

[isdhatwuntorisitme]

Ok saw Dh's phone and on it there is a text that he sends me when he plays golf.

"im playing golf today. it could only get any better if i were able to kiss you between the holes.

I think they call that the perimeum"

Only problem was that he had sent this text to a different female!!!!!
The cousin of someone he had tried to get with prior to us being together.

Now he thinks im over reacting, that this is just a joke and means nothing.
I am gutted and think that no its not at all funny its flirty and a bit naughty.

I will be very happy if you tell me im over reacting and bu but i just don't think iam.

and yes your answers will determine whether he stays here tonight so speedy responses welcome

that goes a bit beyond flirting for me.

I would be furious.

YANBU

yuck
not v seductive

YANBU!

he's being a prize idiot. Would he think it was so funny if he found this on your phone to a man?

If it's a private joke between you 2 then even more inappropriate if you ask me.

Serious grovelling and explaining to do imo

er...yes it's flirting and bad spelling.

I would be thinking he is probably still trying to 'get with her' and I would be giving him the opportunity by showing him the door and suggesting he avail himself of it.

Absolutely bloody not!!! That is totally outrageous and if he can't see that, you should be packing his stuff right now!

ew - that's a bit icky. As an in-joke between a couple it's fine but if I got that text from a male friend I'd think it was a bit pervy not flirty!

Wow yeah that is totally inappropriate. I'd have been grossed out if i had received that text too! Ew, he definately needs to never do that again.

My DH has said he is clearly inviting her for sex.

YANBU that's totally inappropriate... How pissed would he be if it was the other way round?

Ask him how he'd feel if you texted an ex saying "My day would be so much better if I could just suck your cock!"

Exactly the same thing.

firstly, that text is yuk no matter who it is intended for

just out of interest, are you completely sure he did not send it to her by mistake ? The silly twunt might be just blustering now if he did, and trying to wind you up/get you jealous (dickhead, if he is)

however, if it wasn't a mistake, it was waaaaaay crossing a line and you are justified in your anger and suspicion

I'm really cross on your behalf now!!!

That is not just flirting. If i were here I'd consider it sexual harrassment TBH.

If I were her

Yes, that is code for "i want to have sex with you and I've made it as plain as I can, in your court now".

What do you mean when you say that the text was sent to you, and then it was actually sent to somebody else?? Did he claim that he meant to send it to you?

I think he is in "looking around" mode, or roving eye as they'd say in the 1950s.

Fuck no I would be seriously upset if that was me.
And it's vomworthy disgusting too.
YUmostdefinitelyNBU!

not quite the same, your text pjmama
no golfing pun and not quite in the same league of vileness
more anatomical confidence and better spelling
holes - bleurgh

YANBU to be upset but this is the old reading of the phone causes stupid argument scenario. If your DH wants to cheat he will reading his phone won't stop him, were you reading his phone because you were suspicious?

Reading phone if gathering proof of cheating/lying partner is OK in my book as it is important you know who you're sharing fluids with, but reading phones as a way to pass time when you claim to trust a partner just makes for upset and causes pointless arguments.

YANBU. However I shouldn't worry too much about his fidelity as if that is his attempt at a come on I can't imagine he has much success. Yuck. Am off to wash eyeballs after having seen it.

OP do you mean he has sent that exact same text to you before?

The most optimistic take on this is that he is inordinately proud of his little joke (which would be funnier, at least between consenting adults, without the last line which is deeply nauseating).

ninah - just as bad though in terms of intent IMO.

YANBU - Iw ould be livid.

Plus its sleezy and icky.

"OP do you mean he has sent that exact same text to you before?"

This is what I'm wondering. If so, then that's even more head-spinningly vile.

he has sent it to me before. but no he knew who he was sending it to. he has admitted that. he just thinks it was a joke and that no harm has been done.

I'd love to have known the womans reply actually but he has deleted it if there was one.