to think that this isn't a joke at all its flirting, and totally inapropriate???

[isdhatwuntorisitme]

Ok saw Dh's phone and on it there is a text that he sends me when he plays golf.

"im playing golf today. it could only get any better if i were able to kiss you between the holes.

I think they call that the perimeum"

Only problem was that he had sent this text to a different female!!!!!
The cousin of someone he had tried to get with prior to us being together.

Now he thinks im over reacting, that this is just a joke and means nothing.
I am gutted and think that no its not at all funny its flirty and a bit naughty.

I will be very happy if you tell me im over reacting and bu but i just don't think iam.

and yes your answers will determine whether he stays here tonight so speedy responses welcome

it is rather prince charles and the tampon phone call. why are you humouring this golf playing twuntage.

You say you send texts to other friends - did he send this particular one to any other 'friends'

Tbh I think this is a lack of judgement on his part. I doubt he is actually shagging anyone else. I think his reaction would have been a bit different. He seems to be genuinely think this was ok. I say this because I have a friend who has done something similar.

I think this may be time to put down some boundaries about what is and isn't acceptable. So as someone said above: knob gags, risque jokes, oral sex jokes...fine if you find them funny. Suggestions that you want to lick someone's bits...not fine. I can't believe you actually have to point that out, but some men are just thick.

Is he just immensley proud of his 'between holes' play on words?? so has sent this to every one he knows in a 'see what i did there, did ya did ya??' kind of sad way??

But if he has only sent it to her, and you, he's trying to say something.

something being 'I want you to sit on my face' and in an only marginally more decoroous fashion.

olifin - It's up to individuals what they do in their own relationships. There's often a fine line between joking and flirting but the difficulty with things that balance this line are that they can be interpreted differently by different people. I just meant that. If you choose to put things out there in that way it can often come back to bite you as you have no control over how someone else will interpret it. My choice would be to flirt with my DH, not other people just cos it's less likely to cause problems but I am aware lots of people find it stimulating to joke and flirt, with harmless intentions, with people they are not married to.

Yes I think it's far more likely that as you are both in the habit of sending rude texts to friends, he honestly can't see why this particular one bothers you. And though it;'s not up there with the comedy genius of Julian Clary or anything, it's a pun rather than a bald statement of genuine lust for someone. So unless you have more to go on than this, lay off accusing him of infidelity and let it go.

what i mean by rude jokes is
"why have marriage rates slumped? Because women have discovered you don't need to buy a whole hog in order to get a 3 inch sausage"

asking someone to sit on your face is not my idea of a joke

Did he send it to anyone else?

because in my (limited) experience rude joke senders send them (tediously) as round robin type things to all mates on a list. Or was it just to her?

shiney, ooo get you

lol

YANBU,
No more golf for him

breegynae ????

I thought it said he wanted to explore her perineum with his tongue

oh, a made-up word then ?

makes perfect sense

no he sent it as a lone text just to her.
Though he claims he has sent it to many many women over the years.

Maybe your right Shiney, maybe its just that this particular joke goes against my idea of funny.
Im gratefull for someone seeing it from his pov tbh as the more people that side with me the more inclined i am to kick him out and i just can't imagine that.

i have no idea who she is. only that he told me that she is the cousin of a woman he was trying to get with before me (and i only know about her because he has saved messages from when he was trying to get with her.....why the fuck he has saved them still i have no idea and he claims not to have either)

not sounding good is it? the more i post the more of a cock he sounds.

she is in his phone as "Juicy". im NOW in his phone as a play on my name and surname but before i was listed as a rather uncomplimentary nickname.

I have copied her phone number. i have no idea what i was going to do with it but i did it anyway.
Im not sure i want to humiliate myself by ringing her. As for what she looks like, i wouldn't have a clue. i dont even know her actual name.

what a cock

He has sent this same rather gross text to her repeatedly, and to many other women over the years?

The question of whether he is being unfaithful or not is surely irrelevant. He is a complete embarrassment.

Look, if that's his seduction technique then he really has no fucking chance - so I wouldn't worry about it.