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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that health professionals should not call me MUM

843 replies

Reallytired · 21/08/2009 19:34

DD had her jabs today and the nurse kept on calling me "Mum" even though I said to her that I did not want her to call me "Mum". I told her that it was a biological impossiblity that I was her mother.

I have two children and I am happy for me to call me Mum, but I do have a proper name and I think health professionals should use it.

OP posts:

edam · 21/08/2009 23:49

Funny, when I go for a medical appointment about me but have to take ds along, docs and nurses don't address him as 'boy'.

mariemarie · 21/08/2009 23:50

Edam - but I bet they do refer to him as your son. Or do you expect them to ask what his name is aswell?

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:50

That's because he doesn;t need to help you take your top off or anything, edam. And I'd imgaine he might be rubbish at reassuring you

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:51

my big-egoed dr pal came up with a huuuuuge list of examples related to this issue.

one was that drs often have difficulties with long forrin names and give up halfway through even when reading them out.

whereas they manage to remember the LOOOOOOONGEST and most complicated medical terminology. why? cos they want to.

drives him NUTs, he says, and he's not beyond carpeting people who do it.

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:51

If they knew you called your son Robbo and they knew he was a reassuring comfort to you, then they might start syaing, 'robbo, come over here and hold MrsEdam's hand'

edam · 21/08/2009 23:51

Nope, the point being vets don't think it's OK to pretend I am their mum, despite dealing with life or death situations and needing to talk to someone who is responsible for but not their actual patient.

FWIW, I'm not fluent in cat, but am pretty sure my kitten addresses me as 'YOU! Get over here with the Whiskas, sharpish! What's taking you so long, woman!'

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:52

see? i knew you'd missed the poiint, marie.

your son = fine

your mum =fine.

it's being called 'mum', when that's used as a TERM OF ADDRESS, that it's weird and rude.

MillyR · 21/08/2009 23:52

It is fine to say 'your Mum' to the child or 'your son' to the parent. It is not fine to refer to either as 'child', 'boy' or 'Mum'.

mariemarie · 21/08/2009 23:53

Aitch - is that not because the long medical terms are said on a more day to day basis therefore remembered more easily, and this is the doctors job - they are supposed to be able to pronounce them. They dont have to be able to pronounce or remember names of patients relatives.

edam · 21/08/2009 23:53

'your son' or 'your Mum' = fine. That's not what people are objecting to.

People are objecting to being addressed as "Mum'. A doctor or a nurse saying "Mum, do this or that" as if you are their mother. It is bad grammar and bad manners.

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:53

hasn't it got something to do with the fact they are very familiair with the long medical words since it is such an integral part of their job and new foreign/long names pop up all the time and then disappear and have no nearing whatsoever on thei r job?

I'm guesing

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:53

again pointy, YES. they wouldn't say 'boy, come here and hold your mum's hand.'

smallwhitecat · 21/08/2009 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumcentreplus · 21/08/2009 23:54

....

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:54

no no. Look at my Robbo example. That is along similar lines, not son or boy.

mariemarie · 21/08/2009 23:54

So Aitch - the really problem isnt using the word mum, its NOT using the word "your" in front of it thats the problem then.

Ah, I see, now that really is out of order.

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:55

no, chi chi. those names were also unfamiliar once, but they sure as hell read to the end of the line because their jobs depended on is.

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:55

no, chi chi. those names were also unfamiliar once, but they sure as hell read to the end of the line because their jobs depended on it.

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:55

yes, they'd say Robbo if they knew that was your affectionate name for him (not necessarily the name everyone else called him). And they know that Mum is your child's affectionate name for you.

See?

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:56

To a child, Mum is a name as well as a relationship.

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:57

lololol.

yes, that's it. if they say 'your mum' that's completely fine and dandy.

it's when some officious twat of a midwife says 'has mum been for her bath yet' and you're looking round thinking 'who the fuck is she talking to?', that's when it's annoying.

mariemarie · 21/08/2009 23:57

Chi - well said.

Mumcentreplus · 21/08/2009 23:58

Never thought I see that day that being called mum when you obviously are was an veritable insult..but hey ho..

MillyR · 21/08/2009 23:58

But you are not a child CCC. So why would you call me Mum? My child would understand that.

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:59

my child would understand it too.

Are there really terribly confused children in hospitals and surgeries acorss the country?

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