To be a bit annoyed that my cleaner made herself a cuppa?

[kwaker5]

Have had a cleaner for about 8 weeks. On first visit I offered her a cuppa as I was having one but she declined and said she always brought her own drinks with her [pointed to cool bag].

I usually let her in and clear off with the DCs while she's there but last week I came back a bit earlier than normal and noticed she'd made herself a brew.

I'm not really pissed off but it's niggling at me. Isn't there and unwritten rule that they shouldn't go in your cupboards/drawers?

LOL ClaireDeLoon, I just needed a rest and a cuppa after hanging the washing out.

We pay 40 quid per week for our cleaner, she is usually here for about 3 hours. But rather than worrying about how many hours she does, I just want the house to be clean. We have had her for years so she knows how I like stuff.

here's what made me jump in to this thread in defence of someone who has no experience of employing a cleaner and was asking for guidance because she had a "niggle"

tight arse
TIGHT ARSE
loon
mean loon
cow
wind up
mean
spiteful
horrible
total weirdo
offensive reference to "da massa" and flogging the staff
hopes that the cleaner is using her toothbrush in the toilet

those are not personal attacks?
they are just what we should expect from a "general left wing and liberal mn"?

what unpleasant double standards
it's embarrassing

Oh for pity's sake. I see you ignored the part of my post which might have explained those comments. And its hardly personal when its a comment on the behaviour rather than the individual.
I hope it all descends into silliness again soon.

Kwaker5, addressing your OP: good that you're not really pissed off about her having a cup of tea - but I don't think it's worth having 'niggles' about either to be honest.
If you look at it against a background of her probably working for many families who have no problem with her helping herself to tea, combined with you offering her tea in the beginning, she probably would be shocked to think you were upset about it.
I think it's difficult to get used to new boundaries of privacy when you first start to have a cleaner - but cleaners going into cupboards is sort of inevitable when you consider the remit of the work! Just something you have to get used to.

Kittywise and Stuffit (only because I particularly remember your strong views from these many pages), I think 3 hours of housework without a break is hard going - have you ever done it yourself? I haven't - have always stopped for tea or another drink. If you can honestly say you've personally cleaned a house for 3 hours with nothing more than a swig of water, I will say nothing more.

I don't think the OP sounds unkind, just unsure of etiquette, and finding it hard to shift privacy boundaries. Understandable.
It's good to see that posters who express sentiments like 'drinking tea on my time' are in the minority.

And so now heroic defence of the underdog takes the place of airy pomposity, which takes the place of yadda yadda yadda...

Or would that be high-minded pomposity takes the place of airy pomposity etc? Can't decide...

TFM, that wasn't addressed to me was it?

Nooooooo!

Posted too vigourously!!

To iceagethree.

PMSL Is this still going on? I got to page 12 and gave up.

Regarding the OP only, I can totally see where you are coming from. I would never help myself to something in someone else's home unless being given permission first. It's just the kind of person I am. And because of this it would strike as being unusual if someone did it in my house. You've never had a cleaner before and didn't know what the "rules" were. Now, ignoring all the personal insults, you can see that actually it isn't that unsual for cleaners to help themself to a cuppa when working.

Someone was asking about the employment status of cleaners. Well mine was self-employed and did her own tax and NI. Which is a shame actually because as Finance Director of my own company and part of her job was to clean that company's offices, had she chosen to come on the payroll, she would have been eligible for private medical, dental and a pension as well as other benefits.

But no, she prefered to be paid very slightly more to be independent.

But yes, she had a verbal contract and a job description, which she didn't stick to so yes the term 'sacked' is, I think right. She's not been downsized but is being replaced. She's not been made redundant - her job is still there, but hopefully it will be being done by someone who will be a bit more reliable. I don't know what other word to use? I used the phrase 'let go' to her in person because I don't think anyone appreciates the Sir Alan approach, it's insensitive and unnecessary.

I felt really awful about getting rid of her as well, DH had said 'she's got to go' several times and I'd argued that she was new/inexperienced/needed training but in the end I did agree and of course it then fell to me to do the deed. Which was actually very sad.

independiente gives a thoughtful response

it's only because kitty and I sought to change the tone that people actually started to come forward with their experiences and try to be helpful and explain their point of view

until then it was just liberal abuse, apparently
ellie, you think anything can explain or justify that sort of reaction? i didn't realise you were actually trying to justify it, while getting all cross about "ridiculous"

so yes, double standards, oh my yes -- in supposed defence of the underdog/disadvantaged/less powerful/whatever, you are extremely nasty to someone else in a big lynch mob

my father is jolly liberal and left wing, he has a way about him that I aspire to

how would he respond to the op? he would say : "You really don't need to worry about it. You might be coming from the assumption that she's trying to take advantage of you because you've not had someone in the house before, but I'm sure she isn't, so just let it be. If you're generally happy with everything else, it doesn't matter"

he wouldn't call anyone abusive names

don't dirty the name of "left wing and liberal" with that kind of justification -- it's no excuse

I think you'll find I personally didn't call anyone any names.
Whereas I tried to express my own viewpoint, only to be informed, by you, that I was been airily pompous.

How's the weather up there on your high hossy iceagethree?

Really, (and yes this is an insult so we're all clear) you sound like a pompous ass.

no you didn't, you tried to justify the abuse, twice, and were in fact awfully pompous

now if I were to call you a cow or a loon or a total horrible weirdo who ought to get a fucking life, that might be upsetting from me

but that's alright in your book if a "left wing and liberal" person says it

mtr you are a bit mad i think

but in a good way

I'm wondering whether you realise how pompous you sound iceagethree...

iceagethree I mentioned my experience of being/ having a cleaner waaaayyy before you arrived on the thread.

You'll also flogging the high horse you sitting on.

you're

No, no its me who's pompous.
Not sure why though.

actually i didn't realise i sounded pompous at all

i can believe it though

but i don't know how else to say it I'm so revolted by all that name calling even more so when it's justified by "it's because we're all such nice softy lefties"

so yes, i can believe i sound pompous, espeically if you don't agree with me, for sure I can believe that

Well then I suggest you report the thread rather than having a pop at me.

The name calling was pages ago.

You're calling people soft lefties so you're just as bad!

"oh I was wondering when airy pomposity would take the place of patronising advice, which in turn took the place of abuse'"

See, that's where you became pompous, and rude in fact. All in one sentence.