To be a bit annoyed that my cleaner made herself a cuppa?

[kwaker5]

Have had a cleaner for about 8 weeks. On first visit I offered her a cuppa as I was having one but she declined and said she always brought her own drinks with her [pointed to cool bag].

I usually let her in and clear off with the DCs while she's there but last week I came back a bit earlier than normal and noticed she'd made herself a brew.

I'm not really pissed off but it's niggling at me. Isn't there and unwritten rule that they shouldn't go in your cupboards/drawers?

My point was iceage that the ethnicity of the OP's cleaner is highly irrelevant. It is kitty, and kitty alone, who has raised the issue of the 'British work ethic'.

? Forgot that.

yes we've had this cleaner using the toothbrush as toilet brush thing before, several times

I guess people here who've been cleaners don't really want anybody to have much of an opinion of the cleaning profession

TD

what's that got to do with ethnicity?

is she not allowed to have an opinion because she's not British?

kittywise - so what? i'm of Polish origin and find that whole 'hard worker' thing sucha stereotype.

clouddragon you needed a break every hour Really?

I don't set rules, I employ people I consider to be effective workers, someone who takes breaks within a three hour period is not an effective worker.

You would not have been thinking anything bad about me if you worked for me.

You would never have known what I thought of your break- taking, I would always be very kind, thankful and polite. Smiling and pleasant. You would think everything was fine until I said I didn't need you anymore.

You see I don't set rules to people who come here, they have no restrictions put upon them. I don't offer anyone a cup of tea, nor do I tell them to help themselves.

I am careful to chose the kind of people who don't need cups of tea as a reward for working, I have learnt that those sort of people are not for me .

er, no iceage. He left that country when he was a v young man to come here to study. He never employed anyone there!
I don't think I/ we would actually do anything differently to what you have described but I think Kitty's attitude is v mean.

No, it was my ex cleaner who raised the issue of a British work ethic.

Of course you will not be surprised to know that i do agree with her.

kittywise - yes. If you ever did 4 hours straight cleaning you would reslise how much more you can do with a literal 5 min sit down.

I think anyone who isn't composed of metal and nuts and bolts isn't for you. Oh wait robots need oiling don't they?

The nationality of kitty's, the OP's or anyone else's cleaner is a total red herring. It has nothing to do with whether or not a cleaner should have a cuppa whilst she is in someone's house. It is kitty who started banging on about the 'British work ethic', blah blah blah. It is not relevant to this discussion (especially as we don't know whether the OP's was in fact Hungarian or British, or whatever).

she also has views on certain national characteristics of Hungarians that she doesn't like

Why, kitty? Is this your big secret as to how you keep your man in hot meals and clean clothes? A cleaner!?

I have to say, I'm disappointed to read that.

No Kitty, it was you (not your cleaner) who raised the issue on this thread. As I said- funny really from someone who spends their day mumsnetting!

I thought you said the housework is the stay-at-home parent's job to do and now I see you outsourced it.

Shocking.

expat you make no sense

She makes perfect sense.

I don't think Kitty would do anything differently to what I described.

I think she is trying to make a point that there need to be boundaries, and the employer can set the boundaries. Of course they may be very loose, and she may be taken advantage of, or they may be very restrictive, and she may lose the employee, or they may be just right, and everyone lives happily ever after.

But it is within her remit to establish the boundaries, which she may do during a conversation with the employee or simply as a fait accompli.

If she does not set boundaries then the employee will establish his or her own boundaries. When the market is tight, employees have more power in this regard. New employers often fail to set boundaries because they are nervous and don't want to be restrictive. This may all turn out fine with a conscientious employee or not fine with a lazy employee.

This is how I see it. This is why kraken asked for help. Nobody understood this, and people thought she was being mean about a teabag.

This thread got into shallow waters very quickly.

Ah i see, I said the housework is the responsibility of the stay at home parent.

Kitty would not offer a cup of tea to a cleaner who was in her house, with her. She's said so.

I agree on the boundaries thing really. As long as kitty makes her position clear and the cleaner accepts that then all well and good. But I also think that this thread is about what is reasonable and what isn't reasonable. What is kind (IMO) and what isn't. If that is shallow waters, then I'm happy to paddle.

my personal domestic arrangements are not the subject of this thread. I spend very little time MNetting compared to some.

They kind of are now though aren't they? Threads meander.

PHEW..........think Kwaker 5 just might have got her answer. Not surprised she's gone away BUT SO good to hear from the majority who are on the side of the cleaner. Also thanks so much for so many witty posts - had a good laugh and a nice warm feeling to think that there are so many wonderful generous spirited women out there.

Yes threads do meander but I'm not interested in being the subject of debate.
I don't mind debating things but im not interested in the personal comments that will inevitably come from certain posters.