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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at dress ILs have just bought DD (6) ...

79 replies

wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:37

... I know I am a bit but MIL wanted to take DD dress shopping. She normally likes to leaf through Boden catalogue looking at the lovely clothes and she knows how she normally dresses and the things I normally buy ... DD is very much into nice dresses, skirts etc. I trusted MIL (she's also just bought DD2 a really lovely dress) so didn't set any parameters.

They came back with a black and fuschia dress made out of t-shirt material. Puffball skirt with fuschia top complete with ruched up sleeves and topped off with a black patent belt. They got age 10-11 so there was growing room in it. Oh and a silver quilted handbag with Sharpay written on it (from disney store). They spent £30 on entire outfit. The whole image makes her look 27 years old circa 1988.

I am gutted. DH says I'm over-reacting and I if there were complete no-nos then I should've said so. So yes in that sense I know I ABU but still ...

And more importantly, how do I now handle DD so she (a) doesn't wear this outfit ALL the time and (b) I don't make her feel bad as she clearly loves it.

OP posts:
Original poster
wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:38

Sorry, just to be clear ... MIL likes to leaf through Boden catalogue, not DD.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 17/08/2009 16:40

I need an immediate pic or link. Sounds a treat though..

MamaLazarou · 17/08/2009 16:41

What is it you object to, exactly? That it is too old for her?

AddictedtoCrunchies · 17/08/2009 16:41

Can you not say 'oh how lovely, a new addition to the dressing-up box'?

It sounds like something I wore to the disco in about 1987.

chichichien · 17/08/2009 16:42

Shame there's growing room in it

chichichien · 17/08/2009 16:43

age 10-11 for a 6 yr old? Is that right?

Original poster
wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:44

like this but bright pink with belt and full price

OP posts:
Oxymoronic · 17/08/2009 16:44

Wow! that is buying in advance, I don't think you need to worry too much cos she's not going to fit into it for a while!

It does sound a bit...y'know but then a six year old isn't going to know anything about chosing clothes, and your MIL prob just wanted to buy her something she wanted. It actually sounds like dressing up clothes, could you try and encourage her to dress up in it and by the time she fits into it it'll be worn out??

YANBU I don't recon, people might think you bought it for her lol

chichichien · 17/08/2009 16:45

It sounds quite fancy. I'd tell dd it was a special occasion dress so she could wear it to the cinema an d parties. It doesn't really matter, you know. Your dh is right

Roomfor2 · 17/08/2009 16:45

Maybe your DD badgered your MIL into buying it? And your MIL thought she was treating her by letting her do the choosing?

It's not the end of the world. It isn't as though it is for a special occasion (I presume!) so I would just let it go and not worry about it. Just don't put her in it!

Fimbo · 17/08/2009 16:45

The handbag I could accept.

The dress sounds vile, could you not take it back yourself on the pretence that it is too big? Just tell MIl that having seen dd in it, it really is too big. Oops and such a shame the shop didn't have another in a suitable size.

Original poster
wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:45

yes - she's tall for her age. Object cos it makes her look far too old. I remember going shopping with my granny when I was 13 and came back with pair of white stilettos. Can't imagine my mum was that chuffed to be honest.

OP posts:
chocolateismyonlyweakness · 17/08/2009 16:46

Could you accidently shrink it in the washing machine?

cheesesarnie · 17/08/2009 16:46

how old is she?

you do know that at some point your dd will want to choose her own clothes and thats just the sort of thing that will soon appeal?

my dd is 9 and has lovely clothes in her room but is very sportynot my taste but,shes 9 its up to her.

Original poster
wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:48

Can't take it back ... DD wore it home. OK ... seems I am over-reacting a bit as DH said. She looks like a Girls Aloud wannabe. Oh god, we're going to see them in a couple of weeks ... she'll want to wear it there and everyone will think I'm crazy mother who dresses DD up like Cheryl Cole.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 17/08/2009 16:48

"I remember going shopping with my granny when I was 13 and came back with pair of white stilettos. Can't imagine my mum was that chuffed to be honest."

Ah, but were you happy??!

elmofan · 17/08/2009 16:48

i wouldn't worry too much as by the time it fits her she wont want to be seen in it

chichichien · 17/08/2009 16:48

If your dd is a HSM fan, then she will totally love it, no?

SoupDragon · 17/08/2009 16:48

Let her wear it, give her a chocolate icecream to spill on it and voila! It's ruined.

Original poster
wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:49

Nooo - she's wearing it NOW!!! Yes by the time she's 10 she won't want to wear it but she's wearing the slightly too big dress right NOW!!

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 17/08/2009 16:49

What you do is to designate this as her special party dress. (Some girls do wear this sort of kit at parties. It doesn't sound that much worse than princess dresses). That should answer your questions (a) and (b). Its not everyday wear because its too 'special'.

And you then hope fervently that the parties she gets invited to are active affairs where nice boden is so obviously much more appropriate

Original poster
wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:50

Yes she is HSM fan, and yes I was very happy with my white shoes. I'm being mean aren't I? Can always rely on MN for some perspective.

OP posts:
stleger · 17/08/2009 16:50

It sounds like the sort of outfit my dd1 (almost 16) looks at with envy, and wishes they did in her size.

Original poster
wishingchair · 17/08/2009 16:51

Lol Soupdragon ... tomato soup, followed by chocolate icecream ... menu made in dress-ruining-heaven!

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 17/08/2009 16:51

get a matching outfit and wear it whenever she wears hers.that is sure to put her off it