To be upset at dress ILs have just bought DD (6) ...

[wishingchair]

... I know I am a bit but MIL wanted to take DD dress shopping. She normally likes to leaf through Boden catalogue looking at the lovely clothes and she knows how she normally dresses and the things I normally buy ... DD is very much into nice dresses, skirts etc. I trusted MIL (she's also just bought DD2 a really lovely dress) so didn't set any parameters.

They came back with a black and fuschia dress made out of t-shirt material. Puffball skirt with fuschia top complete with ruched up sleeves and topped off with a black patent belt. They got age 10-11 so there was growing room in it. Oh and a silver quilted handbag with Sharpay written on it (from disney store). They spent £30 on entire outfit. The whole image makes her look 27 years old circa 1988.

I am gutted. DH says I'm over-reacting and I if there were complete no-nos then I should've said so. So yes in that sense I know I ABU but still ...

And more importantly, how do I now handle DD so she (a) doesn't wear this outfit ALL the time and (b) I don't make her feel bad as she clearly loves it.

Oh I dunno. I think the dress sounds better than this one

You're over reacting. It's just a dress ffs. Sounds vile, but if your dd loves it then you have to suck it up and let her wear it.

This is payback for those white stilettos Be gracious and thus a Cool Mother.

Having just seen the pic... TBH it doesn't look half as bad as I'd imagined.

How old is she though? someone said 6 earlier. Is she? Maybe she was pestering your MIL to get it, so she bought it for when your DD will be older and it will be more appropriate? It's not too bad, it could have been a boob tube and mini skirt.

chichichien I like that one

chichichien -i love that!my dd wouldnt wear it but i love it!she has loads of boden(all 2nd hand) but prefers the same pair of jogging trousers and plain dark green top!

ok i am an evil mum but i would take a photo of dd wearing dress & show it to her when she is older at a family gathering ha (puts sensible hat on) its harmless though just be glad she didn't come home wearing HOTPANTS & CROP TOP .

oh yes, greens, I knew lots of mnetters would like it

I like the dressing up idea. tbh it sintl likely to last long if she wears it now and it is carelessly regularly washed . And no I wouldn't like my 7yr old in it but then nor would she ! My gp's bought me a tshirt with Roadrunner on when I was that age - in age 10 - I loved it even when it was faded and shapeless.

And just remember that if MIL ever offers to take your dds shopping again, to set some ground rules. Bit late this time, but next time (should there be one) at least you will know what to say.

Make sure you get overheard by the MIL referring to the dress as 'that gross tat' or some other such descriptor and 'I don't know what she was thinking about...' so she realises quite what you think of it without having to confront her - oh and let others overhear too when you are there! Cowards way out, but then at least you can say you didn't want to hurt your MIL feelings (like she has hurt yours).

Will there be any youngsters there that you can send over to your dd with a glass or two of neat ribena to pour over on top of the tomato soup and chocolate ice cream. And a couple of permanent markers to help mark the stains too

chichichien - OK, that wasn't in my mind when I was thinking "lovely things from Boden".

No - it isn't a crop top and hotpants. Will get over it, let her wear it, tumble dry it (at least it then might fit her) and see where we get to.

My mum is going to have a field day with this one. Payback time ...

Agree with Roomfor2. Sounds like Mil has been a lovely indulgent grandma who has been a little bit (or a lot) swayed by 6 yr olds enthusiasm for dressing up clothes without mummy there to set parameters.

Not many 6 yrs olds veer towards the 'less is more' theory of dressing left to their own devices. Mine don't. Dd2 will happily wear the most outrageous things given the chance and she's nearly 8.

I'd let this one go for now. Maybe lose it at the back of the wardrobe/use as dressing up as suggested. It seems a shame given that it was a nice chance to have a lovely outfit though. Never mind; just definately be around for the next shopping trip.

As the dress is such a big size you might, be able to play on that and say it doesn't fit and could you exchange it? You say mil normally likes the things you do; she might cotton on to what you're getting at.

Some things end up quietly in the charity bag and are never worn. My ds had a shirt with a horrible aggressive skater logo on it that he never wore once. Well he would have perhaps - but I hid it .

Not much to add but I sympathise because MIL bought DD (3.5) this weekend a grey net skirt like this images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/164/2/AAAAAk0WU9gAAAAAAWQkRw.jp g&imgrefurl=www.kaboodle.com/reviews/80s-evil-prom-queen-black-lace-fairy-ballerina-dress-w-t ulle-skirt&usg=__HF71jKRXMswAWUTzUQjWqLJTb80=&h=300&w=300&sz=28&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=VrvsySYuJ7W 66M:&tbnh=116&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3D80s%2Btulle%2Bskirt%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den -us%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1 She looks like Madonna in her prime in it

I agree with Tsar hide it. Make it disappear like the blue satin shorts MIL bought my dd that had cutie written accross the bum. Barf

How lovely to go shopping with granny and for Granny to buy her something she really loves. That will be a special memory for your DD and your MIL.

Try not to spoil their fun.

Just restrict where/when she can wear the dress. Only at home or to granny's house?

As long as no one else you know sees her in it and thinks you chose it, there is no harm surely?

(sounds hideous though)

It doesnt look inappropriate, just not to your taste I assume.
I cant see the problem - the dress was bought for your DD, not you, so surely if she loves it then even if its not to your taste it doesnt really matter does it?

Monkeyandbooba my dd would adore that dress, we often have clothing debates.

I thought this was going to be about something really awful and inappropriate, like a T-shirt with "sexy" or with an apostrophe in the wrong place.

Let her wear it. Nobody that matters will think you bought it.

Though you may be judged by mumsnetters who see you out and about

The foolproof costly solution- take dd out to choose another dress; but this time guided by you. This way, she thinks that she has chosen it, and you get to hate it less than the other- now probably forgotten by dd- dress. It's great that she is choosing what to wear... but the beginning of difficult times; you may look back in 10 years and wish that she would wear the pink dress...

By the way, white stilettos? I bought some last week, so maybe don't listen to me!

Your DD will treasure this dress as one she chose and one she picked with her Granny. Dont ruin it. She'll regret it in 20 years back when she looks back and sees how awful it was.

I had a black dress when I was 6. My parents hated it as they said it was too old for me. I loved it and wore it as much as I could.

Why dont you get some 'young' accessories to go with it so she looks more her age - she can personalise it.

Although I don't have any girls...I would much prefer to see one in a dress like this than some of the clothes marketed for little girls these days.

Is there a link to a picture of the actual dress ?

Yes, YABU. The child probably chose it herself. My DD is really girly, I am not, she chose a hideous pink frilly dress to wear to a wedding this weekend. I laughed and bought it for her anyway because it was her style, not mine!

What has boden got to do with anything?