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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO HAVE TOLD THE TRUTH, IN MY OPINION?

55 replies

hifi · 05/08/2009 17:50

a single friend is joining a dating agency and wanted my view on how attractive she is and how i would describe her figure. out of her list of options i said she was curvy and average looking. shes now not speaking to me because of this.
am i being unreasonable in thinking she wanted a truthful answer i gave her one and now shes offended.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 05/08/2009 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Greensleeves · 05/08/2009 17:53

erm

you've done nothing wrong, she asked and you were honest - good for you, and she shouldn't have asked if she didn't want the answer

BUT she probably feels really really shit - that's not rational but it is to be expected I think, if she's insecure about her looks - but just be gentle with her, she probably feels miserable

but no, she has no right to be cross with you

SixtyFootDoll · 05/08/2009 17:53

oh dear
average looking is not nice to hear though, a bit tactless

MorrisZapp · 05/08/2009 17:55

Christ.

YABU really, you should have told a white lie.

But she was BU if she genuinely wanted honesty.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 05/08/2009 17:57

ime, people never want the truth when they ask a question like that!

People never want the truth when they ask any question you only need to read AIBU on here to see that!!!!

She shouldn't have asked you to be honest if that's not what she wanted!

Greensleeves · 05/08/2009 17:57

thing is, you and I know that curvy and average is fine

but she probably heard "fat and plain" if she's insecure about it anyway

be nice to her

Original poster
hifi · 05/08/2009 17:58

riven, did think after i had replied in haste i shouldnt have answered, oh dear me and my big gob.

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 05/08/2009 17:58

i'm with you on this. i'd have legged it, but you should never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

Original poster
hifi · 05/08/2009 17:59

i did try and backtrack saying you were only truly gorgeous the right side of 30, its down hill from then on.

OP posts:
Original poster
hifi · 05/08/2009 18:00

she is always very critical of me, im never critical of othere unless they ask.

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 05/08/2009 18:00

Oh Dear..curvy not too bad but what size is she..coz if she's a 12 and you said curvy then ...and would you describe yourself as average?..

SoupDragon · 05/08/2009 18:00

That is a question which should never be answered with complete honesty!!

morningpaper · 05/08/2009 18:01

HAHAHAHAHAHA

you were strung up like a kipper mate

bad luck eh

Those things have photos anyway, don't they?

HecatesTwopenceworth · 05/08/2009 18:01

oh god hifi! That wasn't backtracking, that was digging a fucking great big HOLE!!!

she's over 30 right? you first told her she was ok but nothing special and then when she got upset you said she's over the hill!!!!

oh dear me.

Mumcentreplus · 05/08/2009 18:01

Ah well if she can give it she can take it

morningpaper · 05/08/2009 18:02

I wouldn't mind being described as average AT ALL

Average is GOOD

Mumcentreplus · 05/08/2009 18:03

Oi! what you saying about 30+..

Original poster
hifi · 05/08/2009 18:04

thanks you lot! i woild have described myself at 27 a fucking gortgeous but i do think im average now.
shall i apologise to her?

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 05/08/2009 18:04

lol, so to try and ameliorate the situation you basically said "Aw, cheer up, you're only fat and plain because you're OLD"

I shouldn't laugh

just give her a hug and tell her she's lovely

SoupDragon · 05/08/2009 18:05

The correct way to have said "curvy and average looking" is "you've got a wonderful curvy figure and a pretty face" and add some other aspect that you could conceivably describe as fabulous (skin, legs, something).

Original poster
hifi · 05/08/2009 18:05

morning paper, yes she has to send a photo and she will look average.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 05/08/2009 18:06

I'm chortling at "fat, plain and old" though

Original poster
hifi · 05/08/2009 18:07

she has only had one shag in 7 years so i dont know how she would class herself better than average?

OP posts:
HecatesTwopenceworth · 05/08/2009 18:08

Maybe she's fussy? nothing wrong with not sleeping around!

I think you perhaps need to try to make it up to her - after your second comment anyway!!!

Mumcentreplus · 05/08/2009 18:09

hahaha you're evil lady!