To confront DH over unfaithfulness?

[printererror]

Ok, I'm an idiot and am regretting my actions hugely.
I have been married to DH for 6 years, love him to death and am pretty sure that he feels the same and we have two great kids. Today I stupidly decided to log in to his facebook account and see who he's been chatting too. It's not a trust issue, I was genuinely just being nosy. Anyway, I found an old email between him and a mate when they were both in the US on business arranging to meet up etc. In the email there is banter about a prostitute that DH booked.
I feel sick, humiliated and violated and am going to have to confront him about it as I cannot get it out of my head.
Funnily enough we had a drunken conversation last night about being unfaithful, him swearing blind that he has never cheated on me.
I know I am totally unreasonable for checking his FB messages, and I genuinely regret doing it now, so I know I can't tell him that I have done this. I can make up a story about hints being dropped that he might have been unfaithful by mutual friends etc. But do you think I'm being unreasonable in confronting him over it, or do you think I should just let it go.
By the way, I hate this friend of his and know that he is constantly unfaithful to his wife and DH knows I hate them hanging around together as I feel he's a bad influence.
It could be that this was just a case of boys banter and that he didn't really sleep with her, but I need to know either way.
So go on...give it to me...

good luck PE

Thanks all, you've helped me get this a bit sorted in my head and given me the confidence to confront it. Let's hope I get the answer I want

"More careful with his emails/ FB account etc,so that if I ever have suspicions in future I won't be able to check"

Surely that isn't the answer though? It's an issue of trust. You have no business looking in his e-mail or facebook or whatever without his permission. That is a huge breach of trust imo.

I didn't phrase that very well printerror. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like he is blameless in this. Not at all what I meant.

Did you have suspicions before you found this? Yor claim that you just wanted to see who he'd been chatting to rings a bit hollow.

The point is, the actual email/comment to a friend does not mean he followed through- it might have been male bravado and banter.

I really hope so MrsMW.
I didn't really have any specific suspicions, it's just that when he goes out he never really tells me what he gets up to.
The email to the girlfriend was very unspecific, but he called her 'gorgeous' which is very unlike him, also apologises for having to leave and talks about being up all night and trying to 'get out' so he can see her again. It is about a year old though and like I said, nothing specific, just suspicious now.

Bloody hell, huge hugs, cos I know how you feel. I checked the text messages. And then broke his phone throwing it at the wall.

We have come out the other side, our relationship is now better than ever was before. But I told him the only way out was full disclosure - he had to tell me everything. But then I'm no angel, so I had to tell some truths too, including that I'd looked at the phone. It is fixable.

He's back now and am finding it very difficult to even look at him. Will have the 'chat' tonight when the kids are in bed, and will try not to break anything if it is true, except perhaps his balls!

Agree, the 'ho' comment is awful: I'd go APESHIT if I discovered DP referred to any woman as a 'ho' under any circs

Aw printererror. What an awful thing to find out. Honesty is the best policy, it is his own fault for leaving the email on his facebook so don't feel bad about discovering it the way you have. I don't believe in snooping but when the only way you will find out if someone is lying to you is to snoop, then that is the only choice that you have. Circumstances like this, people will lie to their back teeth unless evidence is presented in front of their eyes and even then, they will try and soften the truth as much as possible. Just don't let him turn it on you. And apart from all that, using the word 'ho'........yeuch, horrible.

It's really not nice when you find out that someone has been less than honest with you, especially someone you trust

I hope that he fesses up and is honest with you, it is the least that you deserve.

Best of luck.

You should be able to look at each others messages without problem as there shouldn't be anything to hide.

Tell him you have looked in his FB account and you want to know if he slept with anyone in X?

Don't let it turn into an argument about you shouldn't have been looking in his account.

Plus, you need to sort out the girlfriend and trying to get out to see her.

Good luck.

Lesson here? Don't read someone else's facebook. Ever.

Really? I think a better lesson is perhaps not to sleep with prostitutes

yy shiny

"I just walked in on my husband shagging my mother!"
"Ah well, that'll teach you not to knock, you stupid bint"

I know I shouldn't have looked, and in a way wish I hadn't, then I wouldn't be feeling like utter crap now, but ultimately at least now I'll findo ut the truth and whether I really know him as well as I thought.