Children gone on Hols with ex and he wont answer the phone or let me speak to them!!! What can i do???

[Babywhiting]

my 2 children have gone on their hols with my ex we have been seperated for 5 years and he asked if they could go with him he has only ever had them stay 2 nights with him in a row! had the odd night once or twice!

they went friday its now thursday and i have not been able to contact them! my dd has a mobile which i ring and it keeps ringing and the ex just cuts his phone off when i ring, ive sent messages saying id like to talk to the kids which he ignored till yesterday when he sent a message saying
"not got good signal will see if they want to talk to you later"

not a word back no call nothing!

i miss my kids and wish they had never gone! what do i do??

This thread has lost all credibility but more for the reason that an anxious mum who hasn't been able to talk to her young kids in over a week is suddenly the bad guy.

Yes lost it is supposed to be about the kids, but in this case its clearly about him point scoring or just being a twat!

Erm, not one person has said that all men are shit.

Justifying a man keeping his children out of contact with their mother because he is probably a bit pissed off with her, and no doubt because she is an unreasonable harpie, is EXACTLY the kind of logic F4J use.

There are people on here griping at the OP for not letting her kids talk to their father more than twice a week, but saying it's fine for the Dad to not contact the OP at all for a week or two at a time if that's what he feels like, because he's their Dad. Double standard, much?

OP call the police if you still haven't heard, or at the least call where they're staying. There are control issues going on here with this man and you are fully entitled to speak to your children when you want. I would've raised hell by now, TBH

Even if the OP had a perfectly reasonable EXH this non contact by such young children is very unreasonable.

Precisely skidoodle. The kids are indeed the most important people in all this so let them speak to their mum. I cannot imagine there is a 5 year old in the world who wouldn't miss their mum after a week away from her so them having such a great time they have forgotten all about her is frankly hogwash

I wonder if it was verbally agreed before they went on holiday how much contact there would be? Even informally? This kind of thing is why estranged couples (sorry, sounds a real 80s term, that) need to keep speaking to each other and not using solicitors.
Of course, it's easy for me to say because I'm happily married.

They need to find out why he is pissed off and sort it out. It doesn't sound as if the OP is being unreasonable, vindictive or a harpy, but obviously communication has broken down somehow.

(Of course, I'm sure no woman EVER would dream of using contact with the children as a means of controlling or getting back at an ex, oh, no siree, bob. F4J are totally barking up the wrong tree there. Oh yes.)

So the guy cuts off all her phone calls and sends her one smug text telling her 'i will see if they want to talk to you later'

I'd say that deserves some exh bashing, he is clearly a twat,and it may not warrant a call to the police, but come on, bashing the op about his access rights as though she deserves to be treated this way, tis low, much?

I suppose if he is communicating by text it is now better than it was. Not ideal, but maybe she will get to speak to them later.

OP if you don't speak to them by their bedtime you'll have to contact someone for your own piece of mind and to show this man that you aren't taking his shit.

Im hiding this thread because its driving me FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!

'I'm sure no woman EVER would dream of using contact with the children as a means of controlling or getting back at an ex, oh, no siree, bob. F4J are totally barking up the wrong tree there' this is laughable, who on this thread suggested they wouldn't? i know plenty of conniving beaaches who would, including my db's ex.

But thats not the issue here is it? so dont try and turn it around to look like we are defending all women and suggesting all exH's are bastards

Oh, dittany, calm down, calm down (does Harry Enfield Scouser hand movement). How in the name of God is that blanket "support" for F4J? That was supposed to be making the point that there ARE women in the world who use contact as a weapon.

That is plainly not the case here, and so the first poster who brought F4J into this whole discussion was the one at fault.

The amount of women I know and have heard of who are shitting themselves on contact visits is unbelievably disgusting. Psychopaths are just allowed to hoodwink the courts because they are cool calm and collected and the women might be emotional after being human punchbags for years. Nothing to do with the OP just backing Dittany here.

It's not the issue, no, but some people can't resist a bit of ex-bashing.

UQD, If he wants to take them away against her will, he can start the legal process then, and spend HIS money. I doubt it would go down well in court that hte last time he took them away he refused any contact.
Of course some women do use contact as a weapon. I have experience of this with my dh and our stepson. But even then we wouldn't have denied her the chance to speak to her child.
I would NOT call the police over this.

Good call Zalen

It's unreasonable to assume that all men who get involved with F4J are controlling psychopaths. Some of them are just ordinary guys who are sick to death of not being allowed to see their own children by women who are using the children against them.

That is not a prejudice. It is a statement of fact. We can argue the toss elsewhere about the nature of the organisation and its management.

Well done Zalen.

The more I think about the more and more I feel for the OP. A whole week virtually with no contact. Its just vile on her ex's part IMO. I wonder was he this controlling when they were together?(haven't read the entire thread!)