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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My blood is boiling at this thread

515 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 17/07/2009 07:23

Warning: contains link to a website full of selfish bridezillas worrying about how a woman breastfeeding at their wedding will ruin the day for them.
here

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 18/07/2009 22:14

Jude, most babies don't self-wean at 12-18m.

It's incredibly unusual for a baby to self-wean at under a year.

Here is an interesting website for you

As for "neediness" [scoff]

AnarchyAunt · 18/07/2009 22:14

This insistence on using 'boob' and 'titty' because 'breast' is too 'clinical' and 'not very sexy', combined with your general attitude to extended BF, makes me cringe and think ishoooooos.

Jude68 · 18/07/2009 22:14

Absolutely EVERYONE I know...many who tried to extend bfing for as long as possible but their babies got bored.

hunkermunker · 18/07/2009 22:17

Ohhhhhhhhh, personal anecdote trump cards! Why didn't you say?!

Jude68 · 18/07/2009 22:17

so when does self weaning occur? 3? 4? 5? 25?

Feenie · 18/07/2009 22:17

"It's neediness to on the part of the mother."

Cobblers.

Next sweeping, ill-informed generalisation please.......

Jude68 · 18/07/2009 22:19

Goodnight needy extended bfers..off to watch some telly with DP nd let him grabble with my dirty pillows! ha ha!!

ENJOY!
Night X

MamaHobgoblin · 18/07/2009 22:22

... Could we get back onto willies again?

This thread is really depressing. So many people missing the point, so much bigotry, so much horrible antagonism, bizarre analogies...

And enough of the 'extended breastfeeding is all about the mother's needs' bollocks! I just don't get this. Even if that were true (and it's a very complex relationship by then, so why expect it to be black and white?) what is the big deal with that?

Who said that bringing a child into the world was a wholly selfless act, anyway? We have our children largely because we want to. We want to be mothers. What's wrong with holding on to a special breastfeeding relationship with a toddler or very young child, if it makes both parties happy? You certainly can't force them to breastfeed, so I fail to see where the harm is.

Sarah, I hope you have a fabulous day. I do think your anxiety about your (SIL? sorry, can't remember, lost the will to live while reading this thread!) relative feeding her 4 year old is misplacesd though - quite apart from anything else, is she even likely to need to give him a feed during a short service? You said you weren't concerned about what she did during the rest of the day, and your actual ceremony is a very short part of that. Chill about it and don't try to cushion your guests against everything - it's impossible anyway!

chegirl · 18/07/2009 22:23

no axe to grind about ex bf here but my DD really did get fed up of bf at around 6mths. She seemed far to nosey. I had to introduce a bottle because I was going back to work so I am sure she would have had to bf if I hadnt. I mean she wouldnt have starved herself obviously. But she spent all her time pulling off and looking about, fussed and fought me. It was a relief to give her a bottle in the end although I really miss bf when I stop.

I had the luxury of being able to bf DS3 for as long as wanted to. But he too seemed to sort of lose interest about 7 mths. I carried on with morning and evening feeds but he went off them by 8-9 mths.

Not sure if that is strictly self weaning or a combination of sw and me giving them a bottle to make sure they are still getting plenty of milk. But they deffo got a bit fed up.

But thats my experience and I think DS2 would have bf for much longer given the choice.

FairLadyRantALot · 18/07/2009 22:39

jude....I wanted to do extended bf with ms and ys...with es wasn't really so bothered about what I do...
however ms startted biting with gusto at 10o month, after trying all the tips and no change we went onto formula...with ys, all well till 13 month and than he bit me by accdent and I just was opuch...but he was a sensitive soul, bless...could I have made them feed nicely for longer, I would have, honestly...but you can't and you won't be bf'ing a child that isn't feeding nicely, because having your nipples chewed off is not the kind of experience one wants

FairLadyRantALot · 18/07/2009 22:39

jude....I wanted to do extended bf with ms and ys...with es wasn't really so bothered about what I do...
however ms startted biting with gusto at 10o month, after trying all the tips and no change we went onto formula...with ys, all well till 13 month and than he bit me by accdent and I just was opuch...but he was a sensitive soul, bless...could I have made them feed nicely for longer, I would have, honestly...but you can't and you won't be bf'ing a child that isn't feeding nicely, because having your nipples chewed off is not the kind of experience one wants

Jude68 · 18/07/2009 22:56

FairLady, if you pardon the pun, I think when babies start "titting around" and biting it's their way of sayinG they'reg bored with the whole bfing gig. Mine did exactly the same at 6 and 7 months...pulling off me in public leaving my boob exposed to the public, looking around, grabbing my nipples and "pinging" them like it was a game...bascially anything other than actually getting down to the task in hand.

hunkermunker · 18/07/2009 22:59

Jude, here's another link for you to ignore

Jude68 · 18/07/2009 23:06

hunkermunker, if your kid still wants to bfed when they're 5 or 6 will you be willing (if not happy because of course YOU get nothing from the experience..(rolls eyes as can't figure out smilies) to oblige?
Or 7, 8, 9, 10?

FairLadyRantALot · 18/07/2009 23:11

no...it was my fault for introducing a dummy....

hunkermunker · 18/07/2009 23:12

Are you interested in my answer, or will you disbelieve me, scoff and roll your eyes rudely?

I don't really feel like opening up to you, I'm afraid. I'm sure this will devastate you, but you'll have to live without hearing my thoughts for the future for my son.

FairLadyRantALot · 18/07/2009 23:15

jude...there is a time when a human being is unable to bf....i.e. they loose the sucking reflex....honest, you can not make a child bf

FairLadyRantALot · 18/07/2009 23:17

also, comsider how many mums seem to bew unsuccesful at bf, so...if you could make them, surely a newborn would b oh so easy to train

hercules1 · 18/07/2009 23:18

surely that's because these newborns are already bored of the whole thing.

Jude68 · 18/07/2009 23:24

hunker and hercules...sorry but I'm already sooo bored of the whole thing. I have a short attention span particularly late and night and for such a trivial topic.
If I could be ar*sed to argue the toss with you I would but I just don't think it's that important to a child to bf beyond about 18 months max. Unless you live in Africa of course and do not have access to a Mc Donalds..oh, I'm joking!!!!
Goodnight peeps! Happy boob feeding to all!

hunkermunker · 18/07/2009 23:26

Thought so, glad I didn't bother replying!

Night night, sleep tight, don't let the ill-informed prejudices bite.

StealthPolarBear · 19/07/2009 06:51

lol at dirty pillows!!
Wasn't it mean of me to wake DS up for a bf at 4.40 this morning?! He did try to tell me that it was still the middle of the night, but eventually he had to give in

sabire · 19/07/2009 09:56

"I have established a full and varied diet. So has your avaerage 3 yr old living in the western world"

Isn't it the case that one in three children of this age are now obese?

And eating waaaaaay too much sugar?

Breastmilk is the original 'superfood'.

Makes alfalfa sprouts look like Macdonalds.

I'd much rather my three year old was drinking my milk than bloody Yazoo or orange squash (or even plain old cows milk, which is probably riddled with pus and antibiotics).

Jude68 · 19/07/2009 10:26

Ahh so it's lack of breastfeeding till teens that accounts for porky kids is it?

pinkfizzle · 19/07/2009 10:34

Since you asked Jude68 yes bf may prevent childhood obesity issues.

The US Centre for Disease Control states that the only 2 cost effective strategies to deal with the childhood obesity epidemic are:

  1. decreased TV viewing.
  2. breastfeeding promotion.