to lie knowingly and deliberately to get my own way?

[HorsechestnutBlossom]

I had booked in a homebirth for months only to be told on the day there isn't a midwife available so you'll have to come in!

As an experienced homebirther (3 previously!) I was not going to be fobbed off so I told them the contractions were coming every minute! (lies lies lies)

I told them I could not come in and see you soon!

Heard them muttering to each other on the phone in the background she's too far gone we need to get a midwife to her she refuses to come in, then I did some extra yelp-in-labour for good measure and hung up.

A midwife rang me 2 minutes later saying I'm on my way.

And so I got the homebirth I wanted.

wolf youre right im sure a midwife wouldnt want to come to our ward without a fight ,but id rather have them than the nurse who took obs on someone who had been dead 15 minutes and then told my colleague they didnt think they were very well Off to iron my uniform now whilst singing faith no mores 'its a dirty job but someones got to do it ' in a cheery fashion

This is just another example of the labour goverment making ridiculous promises that can't be kept.Like the 4 hour wait, simply not possible. They should talk to front line staff before they decide these ludicrous things, the next thing you know they will be deducting funding for hospitals that don't reach their HB targets

lol bumpsoon even though i shouldn't , some of the madwives i know would be no different.

as known in the business

'However, I really don't buy the, "You're so selfish lying and wanting a midwife at your home when others might be in more need," That's bull. How would the OP know if there were other women in "more need"? Is she supposed to check first before she asks for a MW in attendance at her home? That's mad and not her responsibility.'

No its her responsibility to not deliberately tall lies, so that the midwives can triage properly.

Some of the reasoning behind the yabus are interesting.

Having had 3 babies already at home and living in a rural area and knowing it is a long journey and also not easy for the mw to find our house (one planned hb had no mw turn up whatsoever)I knew I had to put their skates on for them ifswim.

If the NHS had said from the outset, yes you can MAYBE have a hb then that's one thing. For all 4 hbs not once had anyone said it might not be possible (for non medical reasons I mean).

As ReallyT says, hb's have to be planned as far as childcare etc is concerned. The beauty of hbs in my experience is your other dc go to bed and in the morning there is a new baby at home for when they wake up!

So 3 screaming dc and frantic dh and labouring pg woman rushing to a dangerously understaffed virus/bacteria filled ward? You have got to be kidding!

lol at madwives hope theres none lurking

The OP deliberately scuppered the triage system to give herself higher priority than she warranted. Would you condone for example someone calling out an emergency ambulance lying about their symptoms , when they could easily have been driven by their DP down to A & E ?
What's the difference ?

Im not sure she did scupper the triage system ,in our trust if you have a homebirth booked you still have to ring the labour ward who then contact the community midwife ,you have no direct contact until you have booked in over the phone with the labour ward iyswim

or saying they had chest pain so as they can be see, although it happens.

I would like Tredeliveries POV on this thread if i see her about later i shall direct her.

Anyway ladies has been lovely arguing with you all taking my dc to the lido in the pooring rain for the last day of civilised swimming before the school children overruntheplace arrive.

Treedelivery

Katie I did NOT scupper the system as I was given the tel no. to ring when I needed a midwife!

Having had 3 babies I did NOT ring until contractions had started, when you've birthed many times before you know the difference between a twinge and when it's hotting up. It had not hotted up and I made that bit up to get my point across in no uncertain terms.

I calculated correctly as it happened.

if you made a bit up you scuppered the systome, sorry.

have fun at the lido wolf ,is it outdoor ? i love swimming in the rain .Is treedelivery a midwife .

btw your lucky they didn't send an ambulance out to fetch you, could have gone tits up imo.

yep and yep.

Haven't had a chance to read whole thread but my thoughts are:

1. I want a home birth in a few weeks and I will definitely try what you did if they claim to be understaffed.

1. My MLU is not being given the resources they need to do their jobs (two on the sick, one left and won't be replaced). It's only when they end up having to call in extra help that budgets become reallocated to them. If they (and the mothers) keep picking up the slack, they will never get the money to staff their unit properly.

I don't want to add pressure to my MW but for lots of reasons its very important for me to have a home birth, and the government has an agenda about increasing home births. Well, they need to fund the staff. Unfortunately, departments very rarely get any extra money until the sh*t hits the fan a bit. I hope that more women will insist on the help of midwives.

YABVU what a totally selfish thing to do.

I had a homebirth and am very pro them but think what you did is despicable. M y DH is a paramedic and has had to deal with taking labouring women out of our area because the hospital had mid wife shortages. In one instant the baby suffered lack of oxygen during transit, if they were in hospital that may have been avoided.

You have made me really angry at how selfcentred some people are.

Ok So if its a dedicated home birth team.Ask yourselves why they wouldn't come out to her to begin with ?

What about the incidences when pg women come to hopital with only a twinge, are they also scuppering the system because they are sent home again and told to wait until their contractions are closer together?
Have they wasted time and resources by seeing medical staff?

Or may be pg women who demand a c section for non medical reasons, may be they are also wasting time and resources?

I hardly think ensuring a mw gets to you in time when a hb had already been planned can be considered scuppering the system.

No because then the MWs are relying on their own assessment not purely what the patient is telling them.

depends why they are demanding a c section (apparently very few do without good reason)

when pg women come to hospital with twinges are not deliberatly using resources, also it's hardly comparable, to using up a midwife totally to yourself for potentially houses.

you were bang out of order.

I think YABU to have lied.

I wanted my birth in a hospital that is a mile away from my home. I got told if there weren't enough resources (not enough MW, too many women in already etc) when the time comes I'd have to travel to the next nearest hospital. I accepted this. (Tho luckily they had the resources)

To me your situation is not really that different. You wanted a home birth, they said they didn't have the resources at the time, so I think you should have gone in and accepted it like an adult and not lied like a sneaky 5 year old.