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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this a funny way of dealing with party invites?

164 replies

Susystayathome · 15/07/2009 22:22

I was recently quite excited to get an email from my SIL that seemed to be inviting my DH and me to a 40th birthday celebration dinner with our mutual group of friends. As most of us now have children we don't get together as couples too often nowadays, so I was really pleased. However, at the end was a sentence saying 'Susy, I'm not inviting you and DH as you are having tea with us, the in-laws and DCs one afternoon instead'. This breaks up our group of mutual friends, and makes me feel that as an in-law I am not fit to be seen in proper adult company. I feel really disappointed and wish that she'd found another way of telling me, instead of humiliating me in front of our friends by adding the note to an e-mail that went to everyone. I'm sure you'll be able to come up with some alternative ideas to help me put this in perspective.

OP posts:
hmc · 15/07/2009 23:12

"Oooh - have just checked my email and one of the other couples has sent a reply declining her offer in no uncertain terms ... I'll have to investigate. "

Am on edge of seat...could this be an act of solidarity?

Greensleeves · 15/07/2009 23:13

come on susy, we're all biting our nails up to the elbows waiting to hear the next instalment

Fruitysunshine · 15/07/2009 23:14

Why dont you just pretend that you did not see the last bit and reply along the lines of "We are really pleased to accept your invite to dinner - it has been such a long time since we have been to an adult only occasion - should be jolly good fun, see you then!"

ENSURING you "reply to all".

ReneRusso · 15/07/2009 23:14

I'm waiting too, and can't go to bed without hearing more

PixiNanny · 15/07/2009 23:14

Send a group email inviting everybody out and add an end note to it aimed at her, suggesting that maybe she'd like to look after the kids?

That'll put her in her place lol

pointydog · 15/07/2009 23:17

riveting

Nyx · 15/07/2009 23:17

I'm awaiting an update too! I think LadyGlencora's email would be excellent to send back too.

pointydog · 15/07/2009 23:17

tell, tell

Nyx · 15/07/2009 23:18

Suzy's probably on the phone right now...!

Original poster
Susystayathome · 15/07/2009 23:18

I'm not aware of any practical limits to number of people she could invite if she wanted to, as she regularly holds large dinner parties at home and out.
I'm going to contact the friend who declined to see if it is a gesture of solidarity. I'm also going to take everyone's kind ideas for replies to DH and see which he thinks would be most appropriate.
Thank you all very much for making me feel sane - was starting to feel like I was seeing a slight where there wasn't one.

OP posts:
Original poster
Susystayathome · 15/07/2009 23:22

Next installment will probably be tomorrow - as it's getting late and haven't been able to get hold of friend yet. I'm off to bed now, night night all.

OP posts:
PixiNanny · 15/07/2009 23:22

Tell us about why the other's declined, and wake DH up if you have to to get that email sent off, I'd love to know what you end up saying!

Your SIL = bitch. I'm so glad that I only have sisters and my OH's sister likes me more than she likes his twin brother's fiancee (who is really perky but nice otherwise)

pointydog · 15/07/2009 23:25

don't send a nasty reply. You would lose any moral high ground

ReneRusso · 15/07/2009 23:29

agree with pointydog
Dear SIL
What a shame. Would have been so nice to get together without the DCs for a change. Hope to see everyone else very soon.
Susystayathome

retains moral high ground while making her look mean

pointydog · 15/07/2009 23:30

yes, something liek rene's much better

sleepymommy · 15/07/2009 23:34

Reply all with a link to this thread.

pickyvic · 16/07/2009 00:25

very. do you think she actually knows what she has done? think id have to tell her.

saintdobby · 16/07/2009 00:50

Is she usually that mad/ rude?

Poor her, imagine blundering through life like that.

thumbwitch · 16/07/2009 01:01

what a mad mare she is - and very rude. Can't see any point at all in including you in that email if you aren't invited, it's so very pointedly rude/inept.
Dreadful manners.

I did really like LadyGlen's reply though - if you want to reduce the "snippiness" you could take out the bit about the non-present to maintain the moral high-ground.

I do hope the refuser has done it out of solidarity - maybe they only go to these things cos you're there!

SparklyGothKat · 16/07/2009 01:08
Shock
mummypig · 16/07/2009 01:16

I like funnypeculiar's reply.

thumbwitch · 16/07/2009 01:26

but would you still want to go after that? I don't think I would...

zeke · 16/07/2009 09:20

LOL @ LadyGlencordSnape!
I would send that to her and hit 'reply all'!

I agree - she is a loon. That was extremely rude.

zeke · 16/07/2009 09:22

Yes, actually ReneRusso - I think your idea is the one to go for, although I would love to send the LGS one. I would definately hit 'reply all' by mistake though

sweetfall · 16/07/2009 09:23

respond to SIL and tell her that you were really excited to read the invitation and then really put out to be uninvited at the bottom and found it humiliating. Tell her that you know she hadn't meant it but you felt you should tell her how it made you feel so that it didn't fester because you like her so much