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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really not want thi gift.

55 replies

brightonlad · 09/07/2009 10:02

My mil got wind of the fact that we were considering building a small (1mx2m) wendy house for dd1 in our small back garden. She then said her husband wanted to build us one, so we waited for a call only to be told they had brought one, they were cagey about it's dimensions and we found out last night (it was delivered this morning and they're driving down with it on Saturdar) that it's 8' by 6'4" and 6'6" high! To put that in perspective our garden is about 24' by 14'.
We've asked them if they can return it and they don't think they can, they're angry and hurt and feel we're being ungrateful and dd1 is goign to be gutted that no wendy house is going to materialise. Is it me or is this a complete no win situation?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 09/07/2009 10:04

You are going to be told yabvu, ungrateful and you should take it and be glad that they want to buy her things.
However, I'm on your side! My parents do this all the time - I have started censoring my conversation with my mum because if she realises I am looking for anything for DS (or for us) she dashes out and buys something the next day, which is very kind of her, but not usually what I was looking for! So I then either have to have two, and not use hers, or have one that isn't what I wanted.

Original poster
brightonlad · 09/07/2009 10:07

So I'm justified in putting my foot down?
It must have cost them a fortune! I've looked online and I couldn't even find one that big, the ones that came close were about £600. We've got a foreign language student at the moment because we needed some extra cash, it's going to really grate that we worried about buying a tumble dryer but could get stuck with this behemoth in our small (but lovely) garden.

OP posts:
Bumperslucious · 09/07/2009 10:07

That's such a shame, especially when you wanted to build her one yourself.

rubyslippers · 09/07/2009 10:07

i am actually with Stealth on this as well

whislt gifts are lovely this house is too big for your small garden

and this is the basis on which you tell them they need to return it

SoupDragon · 09/07/2009 10:10

Yes, you should thank them profusely for their generosity but refuse on the grounds that it is far too big for your garden.

savoycabbage · 09/07/2009 10:14

Agree with the others. My MIL bought my dd a kitchen for christmas after we had told her that we were getting her one. My dh wanted me to get rid of mine in case we upset her. She was totally trying to upstage us. I gave hers away to dd's playgroup so at least she could play with the thing there.

They FEDEXed us a playhouse this year. From America to Australia. The Fedex man almost passed out with shock.

StealthPolarBear · 09/07/2009 10:21

well humph, I didn't get this support on my toaster thread! I was told toasters are expensive so shut up and be grateful!
So YABU - just cos I'm jealous

Notalone · 09/07/2009 10:21

YANBU - it is you who is going to have to live with the huge too big for your garden Wendy House long term and although your DD will love it, it will also give her less space to play in the garden in.

Reminds me for DBIL - when DS was three he announced that not only had he bought DS a mini moto (small motorbike) for Xmas but also had spent a fortune on it and wanted £80 towards it as he couldn't afford it otherwise. He had bought it off a friend so no taking it back and there is no way I wanted DS to have a bloody motorbike anyway. DP actually paid the money despite me ranting about how it was a bloody cheek. Still angry about this now actually and Ds is now 7

SoupDragon · 09/07/2009 10:23

Thing is, you can't discretely shove a humungous playhouse in a cupboard. If you accept the gift, you're stuck with it in your postage stamp sized garden.

TheProvincialLady · 09/07/2009 10:24

Notalone there are so many things wrong with what your BIL did that I hardly know where to begin

OP, YANBU.

StealthPolarBear · 09/07/2009 10:24

Notalone that is a huge cheek!!

StealthPolarBear · 09/07/2009 10:25

SD I value my cupboard space plus I feel it's very bad to have something brand new that you never use!

SarahL2 · 09/07/2009 10:28

My MIL is a bit like this. She has set gifts for 1st birthdays, 1st christmases etc which have to be had. So I wasn't allowed to buy my own son a trike for his first birthday beacsue he had to have the exact same trike as his cousins had all gotten from John Lewis. It's lovely but there are trikes out there with other features on which I would have liked..

Same with the walker with blocks he got for his first christmas.

You're going to have to be firm over the playhouse I think. Be very grateful and make sure you say thank you a lot but repeatedly point out that it is just too big for your garden. If they really can't/don't want to send it back maybe they could have it in thier own garden for when your daughter visits or allow you to sell it on ebay and buy a more suitable house with the proceeds

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 09/07/2009 10:40

oh, i feel your pain. My mother insisted on buying DD one of those awful trampoline things. Totally ruined our garden, DP and i worked really hard getting the lawn sortedetc. It really made me give up on the garden/ Best part of it, DD never uses it it. I think she has been on it four times. I said she wouldnt use it, but my mum was mortally offended and kept on and on until not only did we let her buy the fecking thing, we took her over to the shop to fetch it!

Really wish i stuck to my guns over it, i think even my mum could see it was a bad idea.

Your ILs really only have themselves to blame. I can understand why they are upset as they probably thought you would be over the moon . Maybe a compromise of a smaller playhouse?

Blackduck · 09/07/2009 10:43

Agree with the too big for garden size brigade. Be polite, but firm....point out it leaves no space! and let me add having built ds one (from a pack) she may play with it very little! (ds never uses his - other kids who come round do!)

ihavenosecrets · 09/07/2009 10:45

Could they keep it for her in their garden?

UpSinceCrapOClock · 09/07/2009 10:48

On the bright side - now you have somewhere to put MIL when she comes to visit

YANBU - agree with the others

minxpinx · 09/07/2009 10:57

YANBU
Tell them that you'll need to get planning permission for it!

mustsleep · 09/07/2009 11:06

could you accept it and then stick it on ebay? as collection only then buy or build your own in more suitable proportions?

YANBU my mum and dad did this at xmas, we had just had an extention done for extra space and they bought dd a lovely but absolutely gigantic dolls house which takes up most of the extra space lol

Trikken · 09/07/2009 11:08

my mil did exactly the same but didnt tell us she was buying it. it was up last summer but it aint going back up again this year and will either stay in the garage or will give it to my mum as she has a huge garden and mil lives in tiny flat.

RenagadeMum · 09/07/2009 11:12

So sweet of them yet so wrong.

They need to find out if they can take it back for sure. It is not your problem if they bought you a full on gift without making sure itswhat you wanted.

You must decline otherwise you will resent having this enormo house taking up your garden! The worst things about these houses is you will resent it when the kids go through a several month lull in using it and then it will just be a big lump in your garden.

Trikken · 09/07/2009 12:06

and the having to move it around very day so the grass doesnt die, they are soo heavy.

nickschick · 09/07/2009 12:10

You could house extra students in it.

Is their(the inlaws) garden bigger? can she have that playhouse there for when she visits?.

spicemonster · 09/07/2009 12:12

@ upsince

YANBU at all - this would really wind me up.

Notalone - that is awful! I'm not surprised you're still cross

LynetteScavo · 09/07/2009 12:12

Blimey - it will nee a permanent base. It's the size of a shed. Do you have a shed? Could your shed go, and be replaced by this play house thing? It sounds plenty big enough to keep bikes, etc in.

How on earth were they planning on getting it down to you?