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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to spike my friend's lasagne?

69 replies

allaboutme · 08/07/2009 16:34

Friend has come out of hospital today after an operation.
I am making lasagne for tea and thought I'd do double and drop one round to friend for her tea so she doesnt have to cook.

Friend does not eat vegetables. Ever.

Am in two minds as to whether to spike her lasagne with hidden veg.
Because...It'll be good for her and she'll probably never notice but also (and this is probably the real reason ) because I think its a little bit childish at her age to say 'I dont like vegetables' so would get a little sneaky pleasure from sneaking some in and then for her to say 'it was lovely' or something the next day [mischevious emoticon]

My kids wont die of scurvy if I cook the whole batch veg free and I do like my friend and want her to like her dinner so probably I am being unreasonable ....

What do you think?

OP posts:

Seuss · 08/07/2009 16:37

I think YAprobablyBU but I too would be very tempted!

Stinkyfeet · 08/07/2009 16:37

I think your "real reason" is a bit smug and patronising - sorry!

If you're going to make her something, make something she's going to like otherwise there's no point really.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/07/2009 16:38

Depends what sort of veg you put in it. There will be tomato and onion in the sauce anyway I'm assuming, and some grated carrot in there too would go unoticed I'm sure.

What I think you wouldn't get away with are big lumps of mushroom and peppers! (yum yum yum)

What a lovely thing to do though, she's very lucky to have you as a friend

claireybee · 08/07/2009 16:38

Well...if you'd normally put veg in it then do. But don't put them in just to make a point

belgo · 08/07/2009 16:39

I think you should do this. I regularly 'spike' my children's food with hidden vegetables. They are experts at picking out the grated courgette though and going 'I don't like this'

MinaLoy · 08/07/2009 16:43

YABU. For all the reasons you mention.

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 08/07/2009 16:43

I do it when my friend comes over. He cannot stand red peppers or mushrooms or carrots and can apparantly taste them a mile off. He can't even pick them out as once they are in there, it is too late as the taste stays. Funny he can't taste the peppers and carrots in my lasagne once they are whizzed into the sauce eh?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 08/07/2009 16:46

YANBU
blend some into the sauce hehehehehehe
She needs vitamins to help her recover.

gorionine · 08/07/2009 16:47

I do the opposite, I have to "spike" dd4 meals as well: I hide pasta in her vegetables.

To answer your OP. sounds like a funny thing to do if you know her well enough to be sure she will not be upset or angry because of it. FWIW, DH did try to hide lamb in dishes he coked to "check" wether I was just predending not to like it. He never managed to fool me though! His perseverence payed off one day though when I conciously decided to taste his "famous" roasted leg of lamb and actually liked it. As I was pregnant at the time I put this temporary liking of lamb on crazy hormones!

dittany · 08/07/2009 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gorionine · 08/07/2009 16:50

It might as well mean that you will have to cook another dish without vegs in case she does not like your lasagne. More work for you eventually.

crazylizzy · 08/07/2009 17:05

Do it her body will probably need it anyway after having an op.

TrillianAstra · 08/07/2009 17:13

Do as Pavlov does and blend the sauce. That way it's just a red sauce, no lumps of vegetables.

Thunderduck · 08/07/2009 17:16

YABU. It's her choice whether she eats vegetables or not, and your desire is as childish as her eating habits.

katiestar · 08/07/2009 17:23

YABU I know someone who can't tolerate many kinds of vegetable and this sort of caper could make them unwell.
Even if she doesn't have this sort of condition you are being patroniseing and smug she is not a child.

wannaBe · 08/07/2009 17:31

yabu. And I can't believe the amount of "yanbu's" on this thread.

Would you be saying the same if op was spiking the lasagne of a vegetarian with a bit of meat?

If she doesn't eat veg that is her choice.

You're not much of a friend if you're prepared to treat her like a child like that. Why bother to cook her a meal at all.

MorrisZapp · 08/07/2009 17:34

Given that you are cooking her this food, social rules mean that no matter how she finds it (and she may not eat it at all) she will say 'it was lovely' the next day.

I have friends who believe that I love eating their favourite dish when in fact I'm just a polite person who tells people their cooking is great - who wouldn't?

Not really fair to sneak food past her lips deliberately. And btw, there are lots of foods I don't like but that I'd happily eat if they were liquidised along with foods that I do like. Doesn't mean I'm lying about not liking those foods, or being childish. I genuinely don't like them.

duchesse · 08/07/2009 17:40

Tempting though it would be to conceal veg in hers too, I think the friendly thing to do is just take hers out before you add the veg and drop it round.

Was her op bowel-related by any chance?

SolidGoldBrass · 08/07/2009 17:42

Depending on her op, you might actually cause her pain or make her sick by 'sneaking' veg into her food, particularly if she has some kind of stomach problem. SO get over yourself - either help her out with something she will like or do something else.

duchesse · 08/07/2009 17:44

I have to disagree with all the people who say it is perfectly reasonable for this woman to choose not to eat veg.

We already eat far too much meat to be sustainable as a species (god only knows what state the planet would be in if the entire human race started consuming as much meat as we do in the West), so frankly I find the "no vegetables" stance to be a childish and spoiled option of an extremely fortunate first-worlder. If she didn't eat vegetables in most parts of Africa and Asia, she'd starve.

Also she is shortening her life and exposing herself to all sorts of nasties by eating only meat and carbs. But that is her problem.

ReneRusso · 08/07/2009 17:45

YABU. If you are really trying to help, then cook it how she likes it. Otherwise it might end up in the bin.

Thunderduck · 08/07/2009 17:46

Well she isn't in Africa and Asia so that's a non issue.

Her body,her choice.

duchesse · 08/07/2009 17:47

Well that's all right then. To hell in a handbasket with us all.

GetOrfMoiLand · 08/07/2009 17:48

Bit of a smug OP. She is coming out of hospital fgs, at least cook her something you know she will like.

Tamarto · 08/07/2009 17:50

OFGS she's not in Africa or Asia so the point is a crap one.Whether it's a childish or spoiled viewpoint is not what the OP was about!

It is her problem which is why it is also her choice, that shouldn't be taken away by the OP.

By all means tell her you make it with veg and if she wants it then she'll have to have it in, bust as it's supposed to be something nice for someone you like, give her something she likes not what you've decided is best for her!

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