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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery manager kissing DS on mouth, would it bother you?

115 replies

Wigglesworth · 08/07/2009 13:35

My DS is nearly 1 and goes to nursery 3 days a week. They are generally really lovely with him but the manager, who is very hands on with the children, kisses him on the mouth quite often. I may be being very PFBish about him and I will get my tin hat ready but this is something I really don't like, I would never kiss anyones child on the mouth but my own. Would you tell her to stop doing it or just let her get on with it? Do you think AIBU?

OP posts:
gemmummy · 08/07/2009 13:38

my ds is always kissing his nursery workers, i've seen it with my own eyes. As long as he doesn't mind then I don't mind, it's nice they show affection. Try not to read too much into it, most nursery staff do feel real and genuine affection for the kids they care for (IME). However, you are quite within your rights to stop it, you're his mum and your say goes.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 08/07/2009 13:38

YANBU

I wouldn't like it either.

Why not ask her to kiss him on the cheek?

I agree, family only for lip kissing.

purplemonkeydishwasher · 08/07/2009 13:38

it would make me feel uncomfortable. YANBU.

RenagadeMum · 08/07/2009 13:39

wouldn't worry about it.

If you are worried, tell her he gets alot of cold sores and you are concerned she could pick up the virus.

TBH I am impressed with her... I have never found a 1 year old apart from my own that I want to kiss, they are always covered in snot!!

Sam100 · 08/07/2009 13:39

YANBU - I would not like it and would be concerned about possibility of cold sores, general germs etc.

To be quite honest I would not be happy about her kissing any of the dc anywhere! There is no need - just be polite and firm and next time she does it say "I would prefer that you do not kiss ds"

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/07/2009 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MamaLazarou · 08/07/2009 13:39

YUCK! Yes it would bloody well bother me! Nursery staff shouldn't kiss children at all, IMO: it's unprofessional.

MsChievous · 08/07/2009 13:40

Yes it would

gemmummy · 08/07/2009 13:41

But at age 1 I think you are all reading too much into it, my DS is 21m and kisses everybody on the lips.

Original poster
Wigglesworth · 08/07/2009 13:41

I think he has oral thrush at moment (taking him to doctors tonight), he isn't at nursery today he's at home with me. Is it contageous, could she have given this to him?

OP posts:
gemmummy · 08/07/2009 13:44

Yes she could, but then again, so could anybody.....

grumblinalong · 08/07/2009 13:44

It's inappropriate and unprofessional. DS2 who is 20 months won't let anyone go near his mouth - flannel, toothbrush etc all get rejected. I've no chance of getting a kiss - he just offers his head.

sweetcat · 08/07/2009 13:44

When I picked DD up after her first nursery session I was horrified to see the member of staff kiss her goodbye. I felt like shouting at her but thankfully restrained myself.

I soon realised this was normal in the nursery and to be fair she was only 5 mths so was being very PFBish.

I do prefer the cheek though, although DS always kisses his favourite girl on the mouth now he is at nursery.

Yurtgirl · 08/07/2009 13:45

I agree family only for lip kisses - mainly to help prevent spread of colds etc surely

I would ask her to kiss him on cheek only in future if it were me

Momdeguerre · 08/07/2009 13:45

YANBU - I don't think it is professional or hygenic. No idea about the thrush - perhaps the ideal opportunity to speak to her about it?

Original poster
Wigglesworth · 08/07/2009 13:46

I don't think it's sinister or anything, just unsanitary really. A kiss on the head or cheek is fine, but the lips should be saved for Mum and Dad IMO.

OP posts:
Spidermama · 08/07/2009 13:48

I'd be a bit uncomfortable about this. I only ever kiss family on the lips and I think that's generally the convention.

As this woman's a professional she shouldn't be doing this.

However it's more than likely she's doing it out of pure affection so I think you will have to mention it, but be as friendly as you possibly can. Very difficult.

JudyBlume1019 · 08/07/2009 13:51

yanbu, she sounds well intended, but imo it's inappropriate

123andaway · 08/07/2009 13:51

I think it depends. If your DS kisses her (ie he instigates it) and she just joins in the kiss, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

If she instigates the kiss (ie give me a kiss bye bye) then TBH I would think this was a bit strange.

I don't think I would have too much of a problem with it though.

Devongirl · 08/07/2009 14:00

I definitely have a problem with this - for us its just a family thing.

A cuddle and a kiss on the cheek if initiated by the child is fine but on the lips is a big no no in my opinion. I know I wouldn't like someone else apart from my husband to kiss me on the lips so why should it be any different for a child?

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/07/2009 14:06

yabu ( a little)

i get kisses every day from my dc when i leave to go home - they come running to me and ask for kiss/cuddle

as they stretch up and i bend down we do meet in the middle and it is normally lips that meet for a second or 2

though guess it is different as a nanny who has same charges all day every day, compared to working in a nursery

tbh if i were you, i wouldnt mind as it means that your ds is happy in her care and thats the main thing

heliotrope · 08/07/2009 14:08

Agree with 123andaway really. Little ones go through phases of affection and offer their wet little puckered up mouths to all and sundry, and I think it is nice if the nursery staff put up with it! Ours always kiss the babies back and I love the fact that they can be that close to them.
I wouldn't say anything, but I'm a)a bit of a chicken and b) wouldn't want to cause any bad feeling.

woodlands35 · 08/07/2009 14:13

YANBU , Dh & i never kiss our children on the lips always on their cheeks etc , just something we both find inappropriate i suppose , my kids now instinctively stick out their cheeks if any1 gives them a kiss ,

modrin · 08/07/2009 14:16

i have never kissed either of my children on the lips always on the cheek or hands etc

barnsleybelle · 08/07/2009 14:17

I'd like to see someone try to kiss dd (22mths) on the cheek... her lips come at you like a bullet. She kisses everyone on the lips.

However, if it doesn't sit comfortable with you then mention it. Your child, your rules.

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