Nursery manager kissing DS on mouth, would it bother you?

[Wigglesworth]

My DS is nearly 1 and goes to nursery 3 days a week. They are generally really lovely with him but the manager, who is very hands on with the children, kisses him on the mouth quite often. I may be being very PFBish about him and I will get my tin hat ready but this is something I really don't like, I would never kiss anyones child on the mouth but my own. Would you tell her to stop doing it or just let her get on with it? Do you think AIBU?

My DD is saving her lips for her DH (she is 9 ). We kiss her on the cheeks. I am a childminder and if a child asks me for a kiss, then they tend to get cheek to cheek and an air kiss somewhere near their ear. If they ask me to kiss a 'hurt' better, I put my hand over it and kiss my hand. Basic hygeine and good manners I think?

I would never kiss another child on the mouth, not even relations of mine. I do it with my own kids, that's it.

If I saw someone kissing my child on the lips I would have a word with them. It's way too intimate.

I wouldn't like this either.
Just say something to her tactfully: ie, it's best not to do this as DS gets cold sores, or wahtever....

I think I wouldn't mind seeing my DS's keyworkers kissing him on the mouth (he's 3 and would do it - will kiss anyone who asks). I really like them, they are kind to DS and he does love them. However, it is a little unhygienic so I would just say to her - it's best not to kiss DS on the mouth as he has thrush. But do remember that she's caring for your child and naturally she has affection for him. If this is the only thing overstepping the mark a bit, then be very polite and friendly about it. I am extremely grateful that DS's keyworkers are so kind to him - I would far prefer one who kissed him to one who just attended to his basic needs without much emotion.

wow I'm in a minority - I don't mind that the nursery workers do this to DS! After all a peck on the lips can't be that bad from a 'sharing germs' point of view, and I like that they are affectionate. Only the ones who are / have been his key workers do it afaik which makes sense to me.

I think YAB a bit U. He is looked after them for almost half the week, I think it is natural for them to show him affection and bond with him.

As for those who are saying family only, many children will spend more time with the nursery staff than they will grandparents/aunts/uncles etc it would seem odd to me to make the distinction based on blood than it would on closeness of relationship.

I'm surprised by the people on here that dont kiss their own kids on the lips. We've always done that with our girls and our son till he started school and decided "kisses were for girls" and wiped his mouth as soon as he could

Luckily he is now back in his old affectionate mood and we have a kiss when he goes to school and if he's feeling very happy, he will blow a kiss back to me

That said, i work in a nursery and have no desire to put my chops anywhere near their drooling, snotty faces, and am very quick to turn my cheek if they go in for a peck! . I dont think the parents would be comfortable with me doing it, and i would have a hard time seeing someone kiss my kids on the lips too!

It wouldn't bother me but i can see why it might bother other people.

I'm happy for DD to kiss her friends and workers at the nursery on the lips if she choses to. She idolises her key worker and the manager and they are wonderful with her. It makes me happy that they show her love and affection and I know that she feels very safe and secure because of this.

I totally agree with Ewe about the family only thing.

Hmm, I had his when my kids were being shown around a preschool. The lady doing the showing was very kissy with children we met around the school. My dds went there in the end and by the time they started there, she'd left. I really was a bit relieved. Nothing wrong with cuddles for little ones, but mouth kisses are unhygienic. YANBU.

ooh i kiss other peoples babies on the mouth only when there mum says give wolf a kiss good bye though i'm not sure i would instigate it but then i'm not sure it would bother me so i think YAB a little U. I suppose it depends how you were brought up, my DM was always very affectionate with us lots of kisses etc.

YANBU. I wouldn't like this at all. Lips are for close family members only! I think its very inappropriate and would definitely have to say something.

I always kiss babies...always always always. I can't help it! They are so cuddleable and kissable...but ALWAYS on the head or cheek. I wouldn't want to kiss a dribbly baby on the lips. Even my kids get kisses just to the side of their mouth.

BUT I don't have a problem with anyone else kissing my children wherever and whoever (within reason of course!) If people like to be that close and affectionate with them then I am pleased.

I always tell new parents that I kiss and cuddle the children all of the time and would this bother them? I have only ever had one parent say that they wouldn't want me to kiss their baby...(that I would have been looking after 5 days a week from 7am-7pm) they didn't want me to carry him in a babysling as it was too intimate and they didn't wan't me to change him infront of the other children (all aged under 5yrs!!) Funnily enough I didn't take their child on lol!!

If it makes YOU uncomfortable then have a quiet word. I wouldn't make up excuses. I would just say that you are delighted she is so close and affectionate but it makes you uncomfortable when she kisses lips...can she save it for cheeks.

i"m really surprised at the number of people who never kiss their dc on the lips. It's never occurred to me not to.

I kiss whichever bit of my daughter is closest to me - not intentionally going for or avoiding the lips.

Sometimes when asked for a kiss, DD puckers up but I'm glad that at 21 months the 'surprise tongue' phase has passed though.

I am happy to see her sharing kisses and cuddles with her childminder as it makes me feel that she is comfortable and loved. I don't think my CM intentionally goes for or avoids the lips either though - twouldn't bother me overly if I noticed they did lip kiss. Much better a germ here or there than a day without kisses.

Depends on if it is deliberate or not, if deliberate on her part it might make me feel a little uncomfortable, but if it was at the instigation of DS, then probably less so. When DD was 1, there was no choice in the matter, you were getting a mouth kiss whether you wanted one or not, twas better just to want it

YANBU - I hate seeing anyone kiss a child on the lips - for lovers, no-one else. Am also pretty certain this is how Ds2 got cold sores [anrgy] as none of us have ever had them - on of the nursery staff did, saw her kissing another child on the lips, complained, but then later DS2 wwnt down with cold sore

IMO Totally inappropriate!!

YANBU
it is unprofessional and a surefire way to spread nasty germs
as a nursery worker, I would be uncomfortable with kissing any of the children I care for
I would be uncomfortable if my own children were being kissed on the lips also

i am kinda shocked at how many of you feel that kissing a child which is a natural thing to do (esp if you are a main/shared carer) is so bad

i asked my mb if she minded, after reading all the replies and she said she has never given it a second thought

it means her children are happy being with me when she is at work and that is her ONLY concern

her words were " our children are happy, so we are happy"

she would be more worried if they didnt hug,kiss me

she did say that often she doesnt envy me as dc(3) is a bit of a slobbery/salviay kisser - but luckily he doesnt take after his dad

It depends if he does it to her without her instigating it during the nursery day but I think it's inappropriate. I wouldn't have best friends kissing DC on lips - just weird and there is the matter of germs!

fgs, kissing your own DC on the lips is not inappropriate or weird or anything else

our DC kiss each other on the lips and us and close family members

if you feel uncomfortable with it, have a word she probably hasn't even realised she is doing it

I wouldn't kiss anyone on the lips except a lover - not even my own child - though if it happened by accident or because the child offered it it wouldn't bother me.

I also wouldn't be that bothered if a nursery worker did this - but then I'm very laid-back about everything in general and believe that mostly, none of these things people get so wound up about matter very much, if at all. (I'm old :D you get this way in the end because you've seen all those things you got wound up about turn out not to have mattered.)

Ds's nanny used to kiss him on the lips. I didn't like it, as it makes me feel uncomfortable (I wouldn't kiss anyone except a lover on the lips) and because ds then started kissing us on the lips.

Never said anything as she was a lovely nanny who really cared about ds and I didn't want to upset her. (She's still very close to him, three years after she left, and is coming to his birthday party next week.)

So, I understand the dislike, but chose not to voice it to avoid upsetting someone who is fond of ds.

Surprised myself here, but I don't think it would bother me. It would have done when DS was a year old, but at nearly 20mo he kisses everybody on the lips (all family members, whole cast of night garden, people on the TV, he has been known to kiss my parents dogs! )

Nothing I can do to stop it really

but no, YANBU.