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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery manager kissing DS on mouth, would it bother you?

115 replies

Wigglesworth · 08/07/2009 13:35

My DS is nearly 1 and goes to nursery 3 days a week. They are generally really lovely with him but the manager, who is very hands on with the children, kisses him on the mouth quite often. I may be being very PFBish about him and I will get my tin hat ready but this is something I really don't like, I would never kiss anyones child on the mouth but my own. Would you tell her to stop doing it or just let her get on with it? Do you think AIBU?

OP posts:
spicemonster · 09/07/2009 09:46

Wouldn't bother me at all. I'm surprised by how many people it does bother. I'd be worried if anyone who spent loads of time with my DS didn't love him and want to cover him in kisses

MissSunny · 09/07/2009 09:50

Message withdrawn

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/07/2009 09:58

SPICEMONSTER thank god for your reply

was starting to think i was some kind of child abuser for accepting/getting kisses off my charges

as you and my mb both think - it means your child is happy with the care he is getting - and surely that is the most important thing!!!

clemette · 09/07/2009 10:00

Exactly what spicemonster says. I want my DC's nursery nurses to feel affection for them, and for that affection to be reciprocated. I am baffled by those who see it as unprofessional - it is their JOB to care for the children in their care - kissing and cuddling are part of this care.

I am also baffled by why people don't kiss their own children. To me this seems unnecessarily repressed and frankly, much more weird than a nursery nurse kissing a child on the lips.

blueshoes · 09/07/2009 10:05

blondes, you sound lovely.

I would take the same attitude as your mb.

Children instinctively kiss on the lips to express affection. I have seen a child go up to a nursery worker at my dcs' nursery to plant one on her lips and she turned to offer her cheek. I can understand health and safety would dictate she did that, or if she did not like slobbery kisses from lots of charges.

But I personally think it very sweet. Ds 2.9 holds my head in his hands, looks at me very seriously and gives me 6 kisses on the lips in succession.

morningpaper · 09/07/2009 10:05

Babies and toddlers don't GET kissing on the cheek. They ALWAYS go for lip-kissing. You can't DEFLECT it unless you want a smear of snot all over your hair and glasses. It's just how children show affection.

YABvU and making me feel a bit grrrr TBH

katiestar · 09/07/2009 10:07

YANBU I wouldn't kiss my own and certainly not anybody elses child on the lips !!
Germy and inapproriate !!

SilentBob · 09/07/2009 10:08

Judgey much? Seriously, if some people don't want others (or themselves) to kiss their children on the lips, fine, so be it, your child, your way etc. but why the need for labelling others who do as "inappropriate" or "weird?"

SilentBob- kissing slut.

morningpaper · 09/07/2009 10:08

When people are using the word "inappropriate" do they mean "SEXUAL"?

I can't think what else they mean

clemette · 09/07/2009 10:08

I feel like sobbing. REALLY? You don't kiss your own children because it is germy????????????

SilentBob · 09/07/2009 10:10

And what is the obsessions with germs? A child's cheek probably contains more snot and food and germs than an adult's mouth ever will.

SilentBob- laidback germ-monster AND kissing slut.

clemette · 09/07/2009 10:10

I sort of understand not wanting to allow others to kiss your children, I am just amazed (not judging, just confused) by not kissing your own children...
Oh well - each to their own.

spicemonster · 09/07/2009 10:11

I'm glad I'm not alone! My DS kisses everyone he likes on the lips, including his CM.

I think it's really sad that anyone feels that lip kissing should be reserved for lovers

harpsichordcarrier · 09/07/2009 10:11

wow, I am surprised by the strength of feeling on this thread
whether or not you kiss children on the lips is a matter of personal taste, but nothing more than that imo
I think YABU, a bit, but if you don;t like it then say something

SilentBob · 09/07/2009 10:11

Morningpaper- I can only conclude so. It's a sad, sad, Daily Mail reading world in which we live.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/07/2009 10:12

blueshoes - i am

agree with morning paper

When people are using the word "inappropriate" do they mean "SEXUAL"?

its a kiss for fucks sake - one that lasts possibly a second or 2

anymore than that then i pull away

there is only so much dribble/snot i can swallow (literally)

rasputin · 09/07/2009 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueshoes · 09/07/2009 10:20

I draw the line at tongue ....

FairyMum · 09/07/2009 10:22

Yikes
Only family kiss on lips.

Momdeguerre · 09/07/2009 10:28

I have no issue with me or family lip kissing my DS - he just likes the affection but with things like swine flu/cold sores/impetigo or Hep all being easily transmitted by body fluids then I would be keen to reduce the risk. I would not want anyone I don't know well to kiss my DS on e mouth for that reason.

I appreciate that he still stands a risk from catching it from family but I believe that in a nursery environment as described by OP it is likely the manager allows all childrem to kiss her etc then that would be a higher risk of passing something on.

All for my DS showing and receiving affection just not an infection.

roulade · 09/07/2009 10:44

I can't believe that some peeps here don't kiss their kids on the lips! I am truly amazed. My Ds has the most luscious kissable lips in the world!

Fanjita · 09/07/2009 10:48

YANBU...I would not be happy if someone kissed my DS on the lips. If it was a one off I probably wouldn't say anything but if it was in an environment where it is likey to happen often then I would have a polite word.

My DS gets loads of affection and kisses but not on the lips. I caught a cold sore from someone, (outside of the family it would seem) at a very young age and I would be very upset if DS got one from me or anyone else by accident. DS learnt quite young to proffer his cheek or to kiss people on the cheek without any fuss.

clemette · 09/07/2009 10:52

Genuine questions - those people who say lips are for lovers, did you feel the same way about your breasts after birth?

And for those concerned about germs - are you keen on antibacterial spray for your home? How do you feel about the theory that children need exposure to as many germs as possible to boost their immunity?

Momdeguerre · 09/07/2009 11:01

Clemette - am not a clean freak, far from it! Some things a child should avoid - Hepatitus, cold sores, impetigo etc

I have no worries about coughs/colds generally (undecided about Swine Flu) and agree that they will catch these anyway as most are easily spread with other physical contact - I worry about things that are more serious and usually only spread through body fluids.

morningpaper · 09/07/2009 11:06

Nursery children are covered in a light film of their own shit and sneeze juice

Seriously, their mouths are probably their cleanest place