...to think that a 5 year old (or her parents) should be able to be a bit flexible with mealtimes?

[pigswithfludontfly]

A close friend's dd HAS to have lunch at 12. I invited them over and suggested 1pm and that was apparently too late for her to eat. This has happened a few times and it makes meeting up tricky although it isn't the biggest issue in the world (but hey that's what AIBU is for!)

I used to be a bit like this when ds was a baby but the little girl is five.
If ds is having lunch a bit later than normal I just give him a snack to tide him over.

The little girl concerned does get up very early and the mum's reasoning is this is why she needs lunch early.

But surely by this age, it's normal to have a bit of flexibility? AIBU or a bit mean???

The thing is she thinks she's a 'better' parent than us as is extending bf'ing/doesn't leave PFB with anyone (other than me)and isn't exactly quiet on the subject of what we are all doing wrong... i actually think she's got depression you know?
There's not a lot of joy in anything- at sons birthday party she just ran round getting stressed about stuff,when we go to soft play she hovers over him refereeing (in his favour obviously!)when they were squabbling over toys,her relationship's really struggling due to the fact the husband is in his own room as PFB sleeps with her all night, there's so many things 'wrong' I don't actually know where to start you know??and am aware that I sound like a right bitch but am close to the whole family and so feel more of a twat than the others for excluding them from the hol.

bloss so if you had a substantial snack at say 10/10:30 that would spoil a 1pm lunch?

I would just tell her outright, sleepless that your idea of a holiday is to relax and ignore the DCs (who are much happier and healthier for it) and that she has to fit in, if she wants to come.
I was PFB with my first-it makes me cringe now! I would phone people up and say we will be about an hour late because PFB is asleep. With the next there isn't the option-asleep at 3pm-tough-he goes in the car to pick up from school. Usually eats at 5.30pm-tough its football training for the older one-bunged in the car and has to eat later. Much healthier to be flexible. This DC is only inflexible because the parents have allowed it!

Message withdrawn

This is why elevenses must have been invented