Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these people could have waited to smoke their drugs?

142 replies

MsUndastood · 07/07/2009 10:36

I went to a festival on Saturday with a very easily led (mum) friend.

We met up with her little (19 yo) sister and ended up sitting with her friends for most of the night.

Later on I needed to pop home and they needed to pop to the garage, on the way back we walked through the park and they said they wanted to have a joint.

I told them I didn't feel comfortable around it and didn't like it but the still went ahead and 'skinned up' any way.

They gave some to my easily led friend, and i know it is her decision, but if they had waited until they had got back and went of so I didn't have to be around it then there is no way she would have sought it out.

Don't get me wrong, I am not perfect, I have tried drugs in my teens but know that if anyone had ever said they were uncomfortable around it I wouldn't ever have gone against that.

So AIBU to feel angry that they didn't wait until i was gone and risk the police finding us and risk being associated with it?

I have a DS and feel it is very important to stay well clear of anything like that now, and feel that it is my responsibility as a mother to make sure DS knows that drugs are bad.

OP posts:
daftpunk · 07/07/2009 12:00

op...where are you going with this?..what answers do you want?

MumOfAPickle · 07/07/2009 12:02

Oh and I'm (virtually) getting one on and sending it round - I don't want Harley's dregs!

Ahhhhhhhh, its been too long dudes

MumOfAPickle · 07/07/2009 12:04

Nor is standing next to someone smoking a spliff.....is it?

MumOfAPickle · 07/07/2009 12:04

If proximity to weed was illegal there could have been about 175,000 arrests where I was last week-end!

harleyd · 07/07/2009 12:05

tbh, if it had been me i would have waited till i got home
not because you wanted me too
but because i would have ended up velcroed to the wet grass and not able to walk a mile back

pigsinmud · 07/07/2009 12:06

What's a toke?

KingCanuteIAm · 07/07/2009 12:07

Eve4 - so will I, of course, I do hope they will learn to apply some level of common sense though. Maybe not when they are young teens but certainly by the time they are adult parents

ineedalifelaundry · 07/07/2009 12:15

I agree with morningpaper - teenagers are boring. And annoying. And completely unreliable and selfish. Why would you expect them to take your feelings into consideration? I would've walked away and asked my friend to come with me. Or called a taxi.

I am finding some of these posts from others rather immature and insulting to the op though - she doesn't deserve this patronizing (and teenagerish) 'oh-look-how-cool-we-all-are-smoking-spliff' attitude. If you don't agree with someone, tell them so. No need to keep on totally take the piss in such a mocking way. Like being in the playground FGS.

HuwEdwards · 07/07/2009 12:23

Here Here Ineedalife.

MsUndastood, I think as you said you were uncomfortable, that yes, they could've been considerate enough to wait until you'd got back, not a lot to ask.

MIFLAW · 07/07/2009 12:28

YABU.

I don't drink, smoke or do drugs.

If other people do, that is strictly their business.

If they make me feel uncomfortable, I move away from them.

Don't get me wrong - sometimes drinkers make me feel uncomfortable and drugs always make me feel VERY uncomfortable. And drunk or high people are zero fun if you are not drunk or high yourself.

But that's my issue, not theirs, and I make my choices accordingly.

Get over yourself.

expatinscotland · 07/07/2009 12:30

I love this board!

I get to get virtually drunk, virtually high and virtually binge-eat.

It's just like the old days, but without all the drawbacks!

morningpaper · 07/07/2009 12:35

I agree with indeedalife

There is no need for all the banging on about drugs

The only issue here is that a 30 (?) year old grown-up is relying on a group of (stoned) teenagers to chaperone her home, which seems like jolly bad planning and a bit unrealistic

Original poster
MsUndastood · 07/07/2009 12:41

What makes you think I am 30?

I am 22

And when we (me and my friend) we usually stick together, as it turns out, as soon as we got back she went to sleep, stoned

Am popping out now, will catch up after 2

OP posts:
morningpaper · 07/07/2009 12:43

Well in that case, I think you are over-estimating the maturity of your friends

They are not going to be relied on to chaperone you home

Next time you need a different plan

Greensleeves · 07/07/2009 12:44

why did you not just call a taxi?

SilentBob · 07/07/2009 12:48

I think you were being a touch self-centred to think that a group of people should stop what they were doing for you. You didn't want them to smoke, you didn't want to walk back alone, you didn't want to sit on the grass- but a whole group of other people did want to smoke and sit on the grass and probably didn't want to walk you (the only dissenting voice) home. Sorry, but no matter what anyone's view on drugs are, you actually were BU simply for expecting to be the most important thing in those people's lives.

crokky · 07/07/2009 12:53

MsUndastood - I am going to be in a teeny minority - YANBU!!

Mumsnet is a very funny place. People get upset about tumble dryer usage and sausage roll eating BUT it seems OK to smoke drugs .

SerendipitousHarlot · 07/07/2009 12:53

I'm not advocating the use of drugs. I'm a smoker myself, but I wouldn't force anyone else - but pretty much what Bob said. Why should your needs and wishes come above theirs?

KingCanuteIAm · 07/07/2009 13:30

Crokky, it is to do with what you are harming, who it affects. A tumble dryer has a knock-on effect on us all, a sausage roll is a joke (except for a sad few).

In this case it is because the op was not tied down and forced to suffer, she said she didn't want to be around it and she had the ability to act on that, she chose not to act - that is up to her and no-one else. As I have said (and she has decided to ignore) she could have moved a short distance away so that she was away from the drugs (as per her wishes) but still with the group for safety. THat is why she is BU, not her objection to drugs which is totatlly her choice, it is her refusal to take responsibility for herself that is unreasonable.

TrinityRhino · 07/07/2009 13:45

wow chillax IS the word needed here

motherbeyond · 07/07/2009 14:47

i've got the munchies...if anyone's going to the shop will you get me a kingsized bag of maltesers,a yorkie aaaannnd...a curly wurly please?
and is it me or the carpet just move?

OrmIrian · 07/07/2009 14:51

Too late motherbeyond. Sorry. Just been to pick up a prescription and scarfed a Wispa on the way back to the office . Can offer you an apple? No? Doesn't quite hit the spot does it?

crazylizzy · 07/07/2009 15:07

YABU, you are a grown woman and you need to start taking responsibility for your actions. I mean you walked home from a festival in the dark through a field/park, what exactly did you expect?!

You could have done a number of things to avoid being in that situation. Walked home alone, spoken privately with your friend about your concerns and asked if she'd walk you home, rung a taxi, rung your husband, rung a friend, walked ahead and waited, stood a short distance away while watching on....I mean honestly. You cannot expect other people to obey what you say purely because you don't approve.

sparks up a bong, kicks back and puts feet upschilke - a toke means to puff on one's spliff

Original poster
MsUndastood · 07/07/2009 15:12

What part of 'single mum' makes you think I have a husband?

It was probably about 2am, I coudn't have disturbed my friends at that time, i don't have any friends who are close enough to be able to do that with.

I am going to go and use my tumble drier now!!!

OP posts:
motherbeyond · 07/07/2009 15:28

damn you ormirian!now i want a wispa too..and some cereal...and if you go back out later get some rizzla please!!

and op - tumble dryer?get thee to ann summers immediately!tumble dryer seems sooo 1950's