To make my daughter change schools when she doesn't want to ?

[Angstisme]

I have three motivations here

1. She is best friends with a girl who is vile towards her, throws apples at her when she comes to our house to play, lies to get her into trouble, over dominates DD.

Yet she puts up with it day after day, even the child's own mother said I wish one day my DD would turn around and tell her to F* off (which as they are 7 I die but you get the sentiment here). DD has one other child aside of the girl who she's good friends and plays at school with but never outside, so that strikes me they aren't that great friends otherwise the mother would be arranging playdates right ? I'm outting myself a bit here, but she invited 20 kids to her 7th Birthday and 3 turned up, 3 at least had the decency to tell me.

1. We've just had her sats through, she is absolutely average right across the board, fine but her dad and i have 9 A'Levels and 3 degree's between us, I'm wondering what the hell is going wrong, the other school is more academic.

1. Our eldest is moving no matter what, she cannot stand another day in her current school and whilst she is a year above in reading and english she is behind for maths, another friends child failed 11+ because of her maths, I believe the school doesn't do maths well.

Do I just make her move, I really do want to say I am the adult here, I've made my choice you're moving but of course you never want to see your child crying and upset and I believe she'll put us through that for a while, plus if we've got this wrong there's no going back.

Any advice at all ?

aaah - maybe they don't like the fact your eldest started out in private school. Some people have large chips on their shoulders about people choosing to spend money on private education.

Well I know it's not just me one of the other mums I see around town moved her children because she didn't like the atmosphere of the school.
Hopefully my DD's can find other geeks to hook up with and not be pelted with fruit in their own homes.

Just wanted to wish your children luck in their new schools. Hopefully they will fit in really well and have loads of friends!

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I didn't make a big deal of it, I used it as one of many examples to highlight what a little pest the child is and why I dislike her around my child.

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Have a great time at your new school. Clearly the apples thing was just one of many.

I'm sorry I have no interest in an argument with you, my life is pretty stressful around now.
We've done nothing wrong here and shall wave a cheery goodbye with no hard feelings to the other school.

I'd be more concerned that you are not trying to be positive about the school they are at now to be honest.

I would also be concerned at this happening again as you haven;t addressed the issues that your child has.

And I would hate to be your child when you have stupid expectations of what they should be acheiving at 7 years of age because your husband has a few a levels and degrees - let her be a child and work on her social skills which believe me are far more important than getting high marks across the board in your SATS.

Actually what is happening with your daughter seems normal for girls of that age - but you need to go to the school and other parents and address it rather than running away. Did you not go into the garden when the other child was throwing fruit and tell her that it was unacceptable or were you expecting your daughter to do that?

Well thank you madame for your concern.

Don't most people with a degree hope that their kids will do as well as they did at school, what are you all so worked up about ?

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I also don't think it is normal to be bullied at school. The party thing is not at all normal - it is rude. Is is not running away to find a beter place. You would not stay in a horrible job forever. Some things cannot be sorted out and then it is a good idea to leave.

You're welcome. Maybe rather than being sarcastic you could look at what I have written and hopefully try and put some concern into making your child a socially and emotionally well rounded CHILD and not be so concerned as to what other kids are doing and how high her sats results were.

You sound a little like one of those mad parents of child geniuses - very good on the academic side but totally lacking any sort of social skills.

Many people are real thickos nice.

I'd move them.

Loads of people post on mumsnet worried about their kids SATs results, so what. That doesn't mean that they don't care about the other aspects of the child or that they are not well rounded.

AramintaCane - I think from her posts it is pretty obvious that her children are not socially well rounded - they have problems - all of them if they are encountering the same behaviour from other kids.

I just want them to be happy, I see the slip in results which is what it is because she started brilliantly as a sign of unhappiness.
Do people really think I'd find £20,000 out of the family budget before trying every avenue and talking to the school ?

MadameCastafiore don't be a meanie

Oh no, you mentioned the cost, Angstisme run and hide

My children aren't the ones that don't turn up to birthday days, they don't lie and they don't throw things at other children, they don't exclude other children from their games. They are not the ones with the problems.
Maybe they and I don't deal with them very well but i'm afraid that's just us it isn't going to change because that's the way we are and we as a family are perfectly happy actually.

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