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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that some mothers are just shit

145 replies

tommypickles · 03/07/2009 14:23

The other day at sainsburys I was walking back to my car with the shopping and my kids.

The car parked next to me had 2 small boys in the back in their car seats.

Boy 1 must have been about 1 and crying his eyes out.

Boy 2 was about 3 or 4 with his hands covering his ears because of brothers screams!

My son who is 4 said to me "oh that baby is crying whats wrong?"

I said "well they're on their own darling, I think he probably wants his mummy"

So I stood there for a couple of minutes, dumb stuck to be honest, wondering what to do and how people could do this sort of thing.

The mum then showed up with at least 2 bags of shopping in each hand, calling to the boy (through the open window which any weirdo could have snatched them), "oh it's ok mummy's here".

Well, I gave her the look and loudly (so she could hear) discussed with my children how you should not leave children alone in the car.

Now I know how some people will try to look at this from both sides, but trust me she was not just returning her trolley or anything like that. And she must have been in the shop some time to fill at least 4 bags with shopping.

Now, she wasn't the sort of person you would assume, she was well into her 30's, nice new 4x4....very middle class.

I did take her registration number because at one point I wondered if I should call the police, do you think I should still report her?

OP posts:

GodzillasBumcheek · 03/07/2009 16:30

Unless they answer the door in only an ill-fitting t-shirt

Morloth · 03/07/2009 16:30

Not sure clemette it was a new one (TopShop) and I did wander in, but immediately felt old - everything was way too bright for me, more suited to deranged magpies than people IMO. But the dungerees were very cute.

Confuzzeled · 03/07/2009 16:38

No I wasn't the mother shopping one, but I did see that and OMG that was a roasting. I was the babychange/ feeding/ big queue of people one.

Can I also point out that people do treat others differently when they are in big cars. My sister drives a big jeep (she actually lives in the country and uses it off road) but she becomes a pushy cow when she's high above everyone else. When she drove a wee citroen she was far less aggressive.

BelleWatling · 03/07/2009 16:41

Tee Hee @Godzilla

TotalChaos · 03/07/2009 16:49

anyone for duelling banjos (chews straw)

weebob · 03/07/2009 16:52

This is a good story for you.

About 6 years ago I was walking back from work. It's not the nicest of places but a rather nice day, so I thought I'd walk for a bit.

There was a young gil playing outside of a shop. Alone

I asked her where her mum was and she pointed to a shop, a sex shop.

I didn't have kids at the time but I knew it was the wrong thing to do. So I stood a little further along at the bus, waiting until the mother came out.

I didn't say anything to the mother because, as I said, it's not the best area. I was scared to say something, she could have battered me in the mouth. I felt awkward standing near the girl incase her mother thought badly of me, incase she thought I was trying to lure her daughter away (if in deed it was her daughter).
Also things feel different after you've had kids. You feel as if you have to protect them, even if their not yours.

I think, I would have said something to the mother. I think I would have waited by the car, with the children until she came out.

Everyone is different though. A split second thought you have. Then you look back at the situation and think "should I have really done that?" "maybe I should have acted differently"

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 03/07/2009 17:14

'Can I also point out that people do treat others differently when they are in big cars. My sister drives a big jeep (she actually lives in the country and uses it off road) but she becomes a pushy cow when she's high above everyone else. When she drove a wee citroen she was far less aggressive. '

True, I drive a biggish Mitsibushi and having it almost brings me up to the level of everyone else from a defaulat position of ridiculously passive

AtheneNoctua · 03/07/2009 17:21

My sister pulled this same stunt in Chicago once (though she does not drive a 4x4). When she returned to the car, she was told off by a police officer. I don't think she's done it since.

DisturbinglySexuallyInactive · 03/07/2009 17:23

We all make mistakes don't we, luckily this one has had a slightly entertaining outcome.

Original poster

tommypickles · 03/07/2009 18:33

well I am very glad you all enjoyed our little discussion and my closing post, I may be back for more another time

OP posts:

Lilyloo · 03/07/2009 21:09

Tommy had to catch up on this and good on you for sticking to your guns
LOL at your flounce !!!

I don't think you have really seen the best of mn until you have started a good AIBU thread!!! Welcome

Yurtgirl · 03/07/2009 21:15

TommyPickles - Very difficult to take you seriously sorry

I wasted several minutes of my life just now reading another thread about you trying to stir on netmums

And yet you expect to be taken seriously on this thread - and throw a hissy fit (or pretend to?) when people dont agree with you

Enough Im bored already

Yawn

BettyTurnip · 03/07/2009 21:33

Oh tommy, if only you could be as ...assertive...in real life.

knockedgymnast · 03/07/2009 21:50

"Now, she wasn't the sort of person you would assume, she was well into her 30's, nice new 4x4....very middle class"

STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!!!

It's this kind of 'assuming' that really gets my goat. Shit mothers are shit mothers.

Rollergirl1 · 03/07/2009 21:51

I've had a bit of a flaming on here too. Par for the course I reckon. Fun fun fun.

Btw, what do people think about leaving a sleeping child in the car when dropping your older one off at nursery. I used to do it all the time as it just seemed the easiest option. I literally dashed in and out. Although there were a few times where I came back to the car and DS was screaming himself a new lung. And then I felt terrible. But he would have screamed if I had woken him up to cart him in and out too.

knockedgymnast · 03/07/2009 21:55

"You all pick so many bloody holes, why can't you just read the story for what it is, a mother badly treating her children?"

Well, you weren't seeing the situation for what it was, you added the judgements. Are we not allowed to dispute them?

Quattrocento · 03/07/2009 21:59

4x4=middle class?

Let's discuss this proposition shall we?

clemette · 05/07/2009 13:58

4x4= nouveau rich surely!

whereeverIlaymyhat · 05/07/2009 17:26

Actually what I would do and have done (but it was a dog in my example not children) is smash the window so the alarm goes off and remove the animal (or small boys) and take them into the shops.
I think that makes the point rather more forcefully and they can't claim on the insurance without lying either.

katiestar · 05/07/2009 18:33

OK well I wouldn't leave my own children in the car for more than a couple of minutes at that age.So I don't think she qualifies for mother of teh year.However I don't think it could be classed as neglect.They were strapped into a locked alarmed vehicle ,what deadly peril were they in ?
I repeat it isn't what I would do but I respect that people have their own judgments.I would have said they were a lot less vulnerable than the McCanns and that was judged by the authotities to fall with in the bounds of responsible parenting.

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