to think that some mothers are just shit

[tommypickles]

The other day at sainsburys I was walking back to my car with the shopping and my kids.

The car parked next to me had 2 small boys in the back in their car seats.

Boy 1 must have been about 1 and crying his eyes out.

Boy 2 was about 3 or 4 with his hands covering his ears because of brothers screams!

My son who is 4 said to me "oh that baby is crying whats wrong?"

I said "well they're on their own darling, I think he probably wants his mummy"

So I stood there for a couple of minutes, dumb stuck to be honest, wondering what to do and how people could do this sort of thing.

The mum then showed up with at least 2 bags of shopping in each hand, calling to the boy (through the open window which any weirdo could have snatched them), "oh it's ok mummy's here".

Well, I gave her the look and loudly (so she could hear) discussed with my children how you should not leave children alone in the car.

Now I know how some people will try to look at this from both sides, but trust me she was not just returning her trolley or anything like that. And she must have been in the shop some time to fill at least 4 bags with shopping.

Now, she wasn't the sort of person you would assume, she was well into her 30's, nice new 4x4....very middle class.

I did take her registration number because at one point I wondered if I should call the police, do you think I should still report her?

What good would it have done to confront the woman, she'd already done it by then

I think, tommypickles, that the answer and the question is hidden in your own assumption that middle class women with good cars must be good mothers who never make mistakes....

But who would you be reporting it to? The police? Maybe you would have had more impact by directly saying something to the woman instead of through your child.

i work in a big shop and have had children wander in, from across the huge car park, then had to look after them until their parent comes looking for them. if i saw something like you saw i'd have gone back to the store.

I did acknowledge that I'd made an error, ok. Your OP just got people's backs up a bit. I don't really see that retrospectively reporting it will have any effect to answer your question.

tommypickles "You all pick so many bloody holes"

Welcome to the Internet! You must be new...

TBH, with the windows fully open like they were, my thought was to stay there for a couple of mins to make sure that no one tried to snatch them. The heat wasn't an issue on this particular day, so my concern was to make sure they were safe. Of course I thought about going in to the shop but in the time it would have taken me to do so anything could have happened

BUt why didn't you just say something to her directly? Yes, she's already done it perhaps it would make her reconsider doing it again.

Betty-First of all I had all my children with me, so if she had got nasty about it I would have done too, I was so angry about it, and that's not something I would want my kids to see.

Disect/misinterpet at your will

Thank you shine, I am quite happy that I did nothing wrong.....had it have taken any longer for the mother to return then I would have gone into the store.

I was just a passing member of the public who did what she thought was best by making sure the children were safe.

How that can be a reason for people to shit all over me I don't know.

So, OP presents a situation that is really quite unforgivable, but you all (mostly) turn on her as the observer and pick apart her version and her reaction to the situation.

Nice.

Well, that's up to you of course.

I don't know what you expect people to say though. No, YANBU - some parents are shit, that goes without saying unfortunately.
But YABU to bring in the whole "class" angle. Report it if you want to but what can be done after the event (your word against hers)?

Got to go now.

Yes fenella, just what I thought.

I wasn't the person who left the children yet I'm being treated as if I was.

If you all want to slag people off, go onto the childminders page, there are loads of mother/nannies etc there who quite openly admit to leaving kids in the car, go and give them an ear bashing so I can get proper answers to the question I asked.

OP - if you think these children were left at some sort of significant risk then you should report it either to police or ss. None of us can make that assessment for you - we weren't there.

Assuming she isn't already known to authorities, if they do anything, I imagine it will probably just be a letter or phone call telling her not to do it again and asking if she needs any support. However, that could have the desired effect of making her think twice in future.

Are you sure you know where you posted? This is "Am I being unreasonable?"

Not "Everyone agree me with me lalala" - don't ask the question if you think you might not like the answer.

morloth- so far I haven't an answer (from most of you) about the question I asked, so what's not to like about it????

Most of you must just be having a crap day or something and want to take it out on someone else.

If anyone answered the actual question then that would be fine whether I agreed or not.

Sorry shine you are one of the very few who have read and understood the OP as it was so obviously intended, thank you

tommypickles i really do think its the weather. yanbu to think some people are just shit mothers. i hope this answers your question.

you just didn't come across well with the middle class comment and then for some reason dragging your own children into it rather than having the guts to talk to the mother

maybe just maybe she'd forgotten some shopping earlier and had popped into customer services to collect it

or maybe she is a shit mum who routinely does this sort of thing

what exactly do you want to hear?