To think my wife is being unreasonable

[SomeGuy]

We are going to Mexico next week (flights not yet booked, but about to be).

Flights on Monday cost £735 total for our family of 4

On Wednesday the cost is £895 for our family of 4.

DW is organiser of a monthly lunch meetup with her friends. There are usually about six women, with their children, and each brings food. The next meet-up is not at our place, but at the house of one of the other people involved, and is scheduled for next Tuesday.

She says we can't go on Monday, saving £160, because she has given her word that the lunch meet would take place on Tuesday, and she says they would probably cancel it if she doesn't come (even though it's at one of her friend's house, who quite frequently has a lunch with just one other person).

I think she is being unreasonable, because there is frequently one of the 6 that cannot make it, and there's not really a significant difference between 5 cooking for 5 and 6 cooking for 6.

It's not that we can't afford the extra £160, it just seems wrong to 'waste' it.

That sounds like a lot of curry, lol!

SomeGuy - do you know these lunches actually exist? Could your dw be having an affair?

I don't think it's any more bad form to mention that you have money, than it is to mention your DC is G&T....both can bring problems as well as joys.

The affair thing had crossed my mind too....

SomeGuy - I am impressed you know the cost of meat. But I would say Sirloin for curry, not Rump.

Well she is cooking the lunch as I speak, so.....

She is Asian, they have a much stronger sense of 'face' than Westerners.

If you get braising steak for curry, you have to cook it for hours to get it edible. She probably didn't fancy doing that, and if you can afford rump steak then you'll get rump steak.

I'm pretty frugal and always go for the cheapest options, even if I had money I doubt I'd change. But this is the way your wife is, you must have known that when you met her. And I doubt very much she's having an affair.

of course I know the cost of meat, it's written on the packet

Braising steak runs to about £8/kg these days I think.

Actually stewing steak can make very good curry, flavour is in some respects proportional to toughness, if you cook tough meat for a long time it's usually very nice. Though cuts like brisket are better in that respect, and brisket is best for braising, chinese style, or noodle soup.

Ah, well there you go SomeGuy, pride and respect means a lot to her. Completely understandable in that case.

You could try suggesting that her friends would like her even if she didn't measure up to scratch sometimes. Get her to talk about things that they've done wrong, or times they've let people down and ask what the general reaction was. Hopefully she'll realise that she needs them more than they need her, and that no-one is searching her for imperfections.

I am quite frugal, I was brought up that way, she wasn't I guess. Though I will buy nicer things if they are worth it, IYSWIM. I do have a go at her about buying bottled water when she's out, tap water from home is free.

Ok, forget the affair thing. Her friends are improtant to her..you should be proud to have such who is so good to her friends. Mine would be lucky to get a sainsbury's pizza and some salad. Maybe that's why I dont' have many.......

You look at the packet of meat? Are you a SUG?

Sounds like you're just going to have to compromise over money issues.

Luckily I married a man who was more frugal than I. In some ways that's a bloody nightmare because if he feels as though he's been ripped off, he goes on and on and on and on and on. We can visit a pretty village and decide to stop for lunch, cue then a traipse around ALL of the pubs and cafés to find the cheapest one.

I'll often offer to pay for things just so that he doesn't have a public whinge about the price. Sometimes I cringe at what he says when he's handing money over!

So you know, your wife isn't all that bad.

Yes LS, I need to forget it really. DW is making chili paste and wrapping fish in banana leaves, which look very tasty, will concentrate on eating those

And on the plus side the Wednesday flight lacks the outbound technical stop in Manchester, and as a result the flight leaves 1 hour 45 minutes later, so that means more time in bed. Which has to be worth something.

Ask her if she needs any bacon to go with that.

Or put a bag of pork scratchings in her suitcase!

hmm...when you mentioned friends over from germany I thought for a minute she is german, and thought, is he married to my sister and than remembered she isn't married, lol...

hehe...moneywise, I quite like to be married to you ......
sigh...to have money, now wouldn't that be nice, sigh... someday, someday, someday [chanting a mantra emoticon]

Your wife is being very unreasonable, book for Monday and tell her if she don't want to go on Monday she can spend two weeks at home instead

No suitcases. We're going to have to go to Argos to buy some of their £10 trolley cabin luggage (maximum possible size), cos they want £30 per person to check luggage in.

Can't imagine what it's going to be like fitting things into the overhead bins with everyone on the flight bringing hand luggage.

4 * 10kg should be enough for 4 people, right?

Errrr........

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...you mihgt have a problem there someguy...

2 pairs of underwear and one pair of shoes, what more do you need to go on holiday?

There is no way she is going to go along with no suitcases....you will need to fork out anohter £90. You can just take hand lugage if you like.

Are you taking your DC out of school?

no, DS finished school today.

It wouldn't be £90, one suitcase would be £30.

4 of these: www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/2861962/c_1/1%7Ccategory_root%7CSports+and+leisure%7C12108 128/c2/2%7Ccat12108128%7CLuggage%7C12108237/c3/3%7Ccat12108237%7CSuitcases%7C12108242.htm

SomeGuy - I think you should change your name to SmugGuy. You really let your wife do your packing?