Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my wife is being unreasonable

241 replies

SomeGuy · 02/07/2009 22:50

We are going to Mexico next week (flights not yet booked, but about to be).

Flights on Monday cost £735 total for our family of 4

On Wednesday the cost is £895 for our family of 4.

DW is organiser of a monthly lunch meetup with her friends. There are usually about six women, with their children, and each brings food. The next meet-up is not at our place, but at the house of one of the other people involved, and is scheduled for next Tuesday.

She says we can't go on Monday, saving £160, because she has given her word that the lunch meet would take place on Tuesday, and she says they would probably cancel it if she doesn't come (even though it's at one of her friend's house, who quite frequently has a lunch with just one other person).

I think she is being unreasonable, because there is frequently one of the 6 that cannot make it, and there's not really a significant difference between 5 cooking for 5 and 6 cooking for 6.

It's not that we can't afford the extra £160, it just seems wrong to 'waste' it.

OP posts:
hf128219 · 02/07/2009 23:18

What about the prices going up as you fanny about on here?

Original poster
SomeGuy · 02/07/2009 23:19

Yes I am pretty much resigned to writing off the £160. She's always been quite a determined person.

I guess you pick your fights - big one: bargain swine flu Mexico; small one: extra £160 for her to go out to lunch.

OP posts:
Starbear · 02/07/2009 23:20

I agree with Solid. Are you sure she has agreed to go! I like North Devon myself because if DH is happy then I'm happy!

TrillianAstrahasaJOB · 02/07/2009 23:21

She is being unreasonable, probably on purpose because you want to go on holiday somewhere that she is not happy about.

A monthly lunch meetup can be cancelled/rearranged/go on without her perfectly well. In July/August it's likely that there would be one month where it would be impossible for all 6 to get together without one of them being on holiday. Unless they are all mad and actually arrange their holidays around their lunches.

Starbear · 02/07/2009 23:21

Bargain swine flu with children

hf128219 · 02/07/2009 23:24

Someguy: Have you checked the flight prices tonight?

FenellaFudge · 02/07/2009 23:28

Yes, she is being unreasonable.

Original poster
SomeGuy · 02/07/2009 23:36

SGB, she asked me a week ago to find us a holiday (I was quite happy not go anwhere till our Christmas trip to Dollywood), as DS has two months off, and she doesn't think we should stay home all that time.

I always do the holiday hunting, it takes forever, and I don't really fancy spending hours hunting down a bargain-priced alternative to Mexico (which looks absolutely gorgeous; yes we could go to Tenerife, but it's terribly mundane, and you could go there any time).

OP posts:
hf128219 · 02/07/2009 23:38

I love holiday hunting - tis my forte! YOu could go to Mexico anytime though? Why there?

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2009 23:39

Will your children have finished school?

Starbear · 02/07/2009 23:41

Someguy, I've been to Tenerife, you don't have to ever go believe me! Is she the type to get you to book everything so she doesn't have to take responsibility if it goes wrong?

QuintessentialShadow · 02/07/2009 23:45

Goodness me, you dont usually schedule your family holiday around lunch with your friends, do you???

She is a bit unreasonable. She can lunch with them again upon her return. You should book the cheaper ticket and she should make her excuses for the tuesday lunch, £160 can buy you a lot of lunches in Mexico.

Original poster
SomeGuy · 02/07/2009 23:46

DS finishes school tomorrow.

I book the holidays because I'm much better at organising things I suppose.

We did go to Tenerife a couple of years ago actually. It's quite pleasant.

But £200 flights to Mexico seems like too good a deal to pass up.

hf128219: if you could work out how to get to Dollywood, Tennessee (no flights to Tennessee from UK), cheaply, just before Christmas, that would be great.

OP posts:
Original poster
SomeGuy · 02/07/2009 23:48

She has added just now btw that she has a blood test on Tuesday morning (something to do with her low blood pressure). It was only booked this week when she went to see GP so I'm sure she could reschedule. But it's grist to her mill so I just meekly said 'ok'.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 02/07/2009 23:55

She's not just having her boold presure taken on Tuesday....she has a more serious medical apointment she doesn't want to tell you about.

QuintessentialShadow · 02/07/2009 23:58

How does Lynette know this?

Starbear · 03/07/2009 08:38

There is more to this than cyberspace can figure. It's like a little soap opera... Why is the lunch so important? Now a doctors appointment? I think SomeGuy needs to sit down and get in touch with his feminine side and god for bid speak to his wife and the most amazing thing listen.
SomeGuy some people men and women are useless and tell their partner what really going on...... Could you be about to become a Dad again!!!!!!!

VinegarTits · 03/07/2009 08:56

If you can afford the £160 then whats your problem, sounds to me like she is reluctant to go on a bargin bag hol to swine flu land, i would be too, you sound like a cheap skate, and Tenefife is not the only other holiday destination in the world, if your going to Cancun its not better than Tenefife anyway imo, its like the Benidorm of the Carribean

LoveBeingAMummy · 03/07/2009 09:07

I must admit its more than just the lunch, why not ask her if she really really wants to go to meixco

LaurieFairyCake · 03/07/2009 09:14

Hmmm....I'm not being funny but I can't think of anything more fantastic than a cheaper than usual holiday to Mexico.

I went to New York 3 months after 9/11 as it was cheap.

And Taba in Egypt just after it was blown up.

I didn't just go cos it was cheap I went to ssupport friends and the local economy.

Right now is the BEST time to go to Mexico if you can afford it.

Stigaloid · 03/07/2009 09:37

YANBU - your wife is. Hope she changes her mind.

posiedullardparker · 03/07/2009 09:40

You have to ask why this is so important to her, I guess.

edam · 03/07/2009 09:47

I think it's a bit off to insist your wife goes on holiday somewhere she's not happy about. Can see your arguments about Mexico but that's beside the point, you both have to agree where you go.

Anyway, you haven't booked yet, easy to change your mind and go anywhere else in the world!

(Or if you really insist, can I come instead? Can't afford a holiday this year. )

ruddynorah · 03/07/2009 09:57

YABU

your wife doesn't want to go to mexico. she is embarrassed about going there. her compromise is she will still see her friends as planned and you pay the extra £160. if you went somewhere she'd actually like to go then you'd probably save yourself the £160 and the aggravation.

you consider the £160 to be a waste. well she considers the entire holiday to be a waste.

there will be other health disasters bargain holidays, don't feel you've got to jump in on this one.

Merrylegs · 03/07/2009 10:10

This is hilarious. You sound just like my DH and his BOGOF Tesco shops. Last shop was Schloer, Del Monte ice lollies and double packs of toffeepops biscuit. "But it was buy one get one free. It's a bargain."
"Yes, but it's not a bargain if we never actually eat the stuff anyway."

Just because it's cheap, doesn't mean you have to go! It sounds like your DW is thinking 10 hour flight+2 year old+ heat+ swine flu = hell.

Mexico will always be there. Why not go when the toddler can really appreciate the Mayan temples?

Woah, hang on. You're going to Dollywood later this year? Think of your carbon footprint. When she asked you to arrange another holiday are you sure she didn't just mean a week at CentreParcs? Do you always go Large?