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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have told dp that this dress was innapropriate for our dd and to ask him not to shop for her in that shop again but to let her keep the dress.

127 replies

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 20:57

Dp has bought this dress for dd

I have asked him before not to shop in M and Co as I think there children's clothes are inappropriate and cheap tat.

Dd had seen this dress when in there with a friend, she had saved her pocket money and so went with dp into town and bought it. She did not know that I had told dp that I did not want her to buy things in the shop but I think she suspected I would not like the dress.

When dd showed me the dress I said to her that I thought it was too old for her ( she is 7) and that if she had been with me she would not have got it.

I then felt guilty at undermining dp, she is is his daughter ( well not biologically but I doint see that that matters) so said that she did not have to return the dress. I also thought that dd must have been saving her pocket money for quite a while which is a good thing so I felt mean taking the dresd away.

Dp says I need to accept that dd is growing up and that I am too strict with her, he also feels that I undermine him. We had a huge argument the other week because I would not allow DD to have clothes with slogans or brandnames on or from Primark.

A similar thing happened with dd biological father when he bought her a tshirt liek this one for dd and I refused to let her have it

So Am I being a control freak with dd clothes? Am I undermining dp? Would you let her have that dress?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 30/06/2009 21:00

I'd let her keep the dress, but don't have girls so know nothing!

sweetfall · 30/06/2009 21:00

you have to accept that a 7 year old is growing up? what rot!

have to say the dress looks perfectly decent - what's wrong with it?

4andnotout · 30/06/2009 21:01

I agree that the dress is very grown up for a 7 y.o, my dd1 is 7 and i personally wouldn't buy one for her, i would perhaps suggest keeping the dress for parties etc rather than every day wear.

The t shirt though i quite liked My dd2(4) and dd4(8mo) both have sex pistols t shirts/baby vests and i don't see the problem

morningpaper · 30/06/2009 21:01

I think both items of clothing are fine - certainly not worth arguing about

If someone else is taking them shopping then I'd shut up!

SolidGoldBrass · 30/06/2009 21:01

What is your issue with this dress? I mean, I would rather wander round in skidmarked inside out y-fronts than wear it myself but I honestly can;t see the problem with it for a 7 year old girl. It's not like it has I Am A CUm SLut written on the front, or fake tits sewn into it.
I don;t see anything wrong with the Rolling Stones t-shirt, either.
What exactly do you want your child to wear? A burqua? I think you should chill out and allow her to have some say in what she wears. Particularly if she has saved up her own money for a dress - she is a person with opinions, not just an extension of you or a dolly for you to dress according to your own odd tastes.

aGalChangedHerName · 30/06/2009 21:02

Hmm i wouldn't buy it at all never mind for a 7 year old.

My dd's are only nearly 5 and nearly 3 so can't imagine what they will be wearing at 7 but it won't be that!!

brimfull · 30/06/2009 21:02

I agree the dress is too old for a 7 yr old

saggyhairyarse · 30/06/2009 21:02

Well, I wouldn't particularly like my 7 year old to wear that dress as it is 'grown up' styling and, no, I wouldn't like the t-shirt either.

However it is a difficult one as she saved the money and she was with her Dad.

MrsMcCluskey · 30/06/2009 21:02

What is the prob with the dress?
And whats the matter with clothes from {rimark?
The dress isnt to my taste but if DD is getting a taste for fashion you are going to have to give her some leeway.

aGalChangedHerName · 30/06/2009 21:03

It's just too.... old

melpomene · 30/06/2009 21:03

I don't really see what's wrong with the dress - it does look a bit 'grown up', but isn't revealing or trashy. You were right to let her keep it, especially if she'd saved for it.

As for the Rolling Stones T Shirt, isn't the tongue logo a reference to oral sex? In which case it's definitely not appropriate for children.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 30/06/2009 21:04

I agree with you the dress is too old for a 7 year old. But it's not indecent, just horrible.

Not sure about the T shirt, don't really have an opinion on that type.

islandofsodor · 30/06/2009 21:04

I wouldn;t buy that for a 7 year old but I guess they have to make it that size to cater for the small 9/10 year olds.

However OI love M & Co in general as I find their clothes are a bit different from the usual Next, Asda etc and reasonably priced.

The Kylie range is aimed at age 9 and above from what I remember.

morningpaper · 30/06/2009 21:04

I think the rolling stones logo is a cultural icon regardless of original intent

oranges · 30/06/2009 21:04

isn't the dress a matter of bad taste, rather than "too old" which implied it was tarty somehow.

Lilyloo · 30/06/2009 21:05

I personally think the dress is very grown up tbh
but saying she wouldn't have got it with you was undermining dp

CarGirl · 30/06/2009 21:05

very bizarre dress for a 7 year old (have 4 dds!) but not indecent or "sexy" I wonder if you are creating a war with your dd over clothes and if you back off and save it for when she does want something very very inappropriate.

cat64 · 30/06/2009 21:06

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suwoo · 30/06/2009 21:07

My DD is 7 and loves her clothes, she would never choose that in a million years. I can see why you don't like it. I don't think that its too old particularly, its just bloody awful.

rookiemater · 30/06/2009 21:07

I have to say I don't like the dress and do agree with what you say about M & Co.

However its not indecent or revealing so its not that bad and its nice that DP wants to go clothes shopping with his daughter and making it a big deal means he is either unlikely to do it again in the future which would be a shame.

mrsjammi · 30/06/2009 21:07

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MagNacarta · 30/06/2009 21:08

I don't particularly like the dress and would attempt to persuade my dd out of buying it, but I don't think it's inappropriate. The rolling stones t-shirt is cool, I was admiring one last week on an 8 year old.

So, yes I think you need to be a little more relaxed.

My dd1 has a friend who's mother is very strict about her clothes and this poor girl gets into a terrible state any time they are not wearing uniform (residential trips etc). I think you have to allow them some freedom.

foxinsocks · 30/06/2009 21:08

re the dress, suspect it's not the dress as such but the fact that you asked dp not to shop there and then he went and did it anyway (the rolling stones t shirt is worn by lots of kids round here).

tbh, I have an 8 year old dd and I think they are at that age where they see clothes like this and think they look grown up wearing them iyswim

I don't think you're undermining someone if you tell them in advance. You'd be undermining if you told him afterwards without having mentioned it before.

I don't like it and wouldn't like dd in it but you know, sometimes you have to let them get on with it and it's not SO tarty (i.e. not showing knickers or anything) but hell at them selling that for a 7yr old.

CyradisTheSeer · 30/06/2009 21:08

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suwoo · 30/06/2009 21:09

Oh and the rolling stones T shirt is fine IMO. My DD likes T shirts like that with her skinnies- we don't normally shop in Next though.