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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have told dp that this dress was innapropriate for our dd and to ask him not to shop for her in that shop again but to let her keep the dress.

127 replies

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 20:57

Dp has bought this dress for dd

I have asked him before not to shop in M and Co as I think there children's clothes are inappropriate and cheap tat.

Dd had seen this dress when in there with a friend, she had saved her pocket money and so went with dp into town and bought it. She did not know that I had told dp that I did not want her to buy things in the shop but I think she suspected I would not like the dress.

When dd showed me the dress I said to her that I thought it was too old for her ( she is 7) and that if she had been with me she would not have got it.

I then felt guilty at undermining dp, she is is his daughter ( well not biologically but I doint see that that matters) so said that she did not have to return the dress. I also thought that dd must have been saving her pocket money for quite a while which is a good thing so I felt mean taking the dresd away.

Dp says I need to accept that dd is growing up and that I am too strict with her, he also feels that I undermine him. We had a huge argument the other week because I would not allow DD to have clothes with slogans or brandnames on or from Primark.

A similar thing happened with dd biological father when he bought her a tshirt liek this one for dd and I refused to let her have it

So Am I being a control freak with dd clothes? Am I undermining dp? Would you let her have that dress?

OP posts:

bamboostalks · 30/06/2009 21:26

I totally agree with you. that MandCo dress is foul. I would not be seen with my dd if she had that on and would question how anyone thinks it is suitable for a 7 year old. It looks very cheap and inappropriate. You do need to draw a taste line and that would be mine. Your dress is lovely. Why we are so eager to dress young girls in older clothes is beyond me. Agree with you on the T shirt as well. How anyone could have that on a 3 year old is mind boggling.

zookeeper · 30/06/2009 21:26

did we establish what was wrong with Primark?

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:26

The white dress was not every day wear - we are having a garden party in a few weeks and I thought it was perfect for that.

God how twee and middle aged do I sound!

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 30/06/2009 21:27

I think you need to relax
the dress is the ugliest thing I have seen in a long time and I would have tried to persuade dd1 not to buy it cause its foul but I would not have stopped her for reasons of 'too mature'

btw dd1 is nine and is not allowed mini skirts (just above knee is ok with leggings), high heels or strapless tops

the t shirt is cool and iconic of great music

the dress is just absolutely horrid

lket her keep, wear it lots and she will get over it

you should buy her the t shirt

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:27

No sorry I dont think we did establish what was wrong with Primark. We try to shop ethically and having read some very worrying things about Primark we do not shop there. For that reason I buy a lot second hand.

OP posts:

geordieminx · 30/06/2009 21:29

I think this is probably the first of many arguments that you are going to have with your dd over the next.... 20 years? Its just one of those things isnt it? Parents dont like the clothes that their kids choose and vice versa. At 27 I still have arguments with my mum if we go out shopping together and she picks up hideous blouses for me to try on.

I remember getting my dad to buy me a skirt for my easter present from Tammy girl that was ankle length, black with white flowers all over and buttons up the front... I must have looked like some sort of gypsy, but I liked it, and I was happy.

I agree that at 7 she is still very much a child, and for the majority of the time you should be responsible for what she wears, but she liked it, she saved for it, and she bought it, I would be quite proud actually, although I have a ds who is 2 so am in no way qualified to pass judegement.

Its not a bad dress, although I do think it is very old fashioned and cheap looking, but there is a lot worse out there. Rest assured she will have gone off it in a couple of weeks

Oh and my son models for M&Co so less of the insults

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:29

GingerIgnoramus I may be being precious, I may even be controlling but don't think I am being miserable.

OP posts:

herbietea · 30/06/2009 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:30

Sorry geordie, I have a fab cake tin from M and Co if that makes it any better.

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 30/06/2009 21:30

I have just looked at the catmini dress and I think that is too short and not enough shoulder for a 7 year old
I'm surprised you think it is nice really

odd how outr tastes differ isn;t it

4andnotout · 30/06/2009 21:30

My brother used to insist on wearing a satin waistcoat and one of those funny morocan mirrored hats, sometimes they need to experiment with fashion

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 30/06/2009 21:31

My DD would love that dress (not the nasty one,the white one) and she's 7

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 30/06/2009 21:31

I don't like to see little girls wearing what look like scaled-down versions of adult clothes and I probably wouldn't buy that dress for my dd. But, as has already been said, it doesn't reveal inappropriate amounts of flesh, it isn't covered in bling or cartoon characters and it really could be a great deal worse. M&Co is like most shops, I think - they have some very nice stuff for children and they also have some hideous tat. I am teaching my dd to tell the difference!

(And I agree that the Catimini dress looks like something for a toddler, so is inappropriate too, in its own way).

HolyGuacamole · 30/06/2009 21:32

I can see why you don't 'like' the dress but I don't see that it is inappropriate. I mean, it is a bit 'girls aloud' (puke) but is definitly not tarty or showy. Also agree with others that the white dress is lovely, but......very babyish. I too have memories of having to wear frilly, flouncy stuff and hating it because my mates were allowed by their parents to be more cool (within reason obv).

The Rolling Stones T shirt is cool and I also like the ones that are a bit more faded and frayed round the edges than the one on the next picture. That's just me though.

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:33

The Catminini dress isn't short although maybe it looks it in that picture. I have put a stitch in the shoulder straps to lift it though as it is quite low cut.

I suppose it depend how you wear the dress not that it really matters. She has some matching leggings and a belt which makes it less like a toddler dress.

OP posts:

Northernlurker · 30/06/2009 21:34

Well I don't like that dress but it's given her pleasure and it's harmless enough. Just back off and try to steer her towards stuff you do like. She sounds very sensible to me.

morningpaper · 30/06/2009 21:35

I am a bit by how much a lot of you CARE about what your girls wear. Belts, skinnies, appropriate footwear??? I honestly don't give two tosses what my DD's wear, as long as I can't see their nipples (the 3 year old always wants her SHOWING)

Generally it is Primark crapola and grubby shoes

I really do care if their noses are running though

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:36

She is very sensible, I would not have saved money for a dress at her age, which is why I allowed her to keep it.

I will make a real effort when she wears the offending item to say you look nice.

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 30/06/2009 21:36

have you seen those paper/cardboard dolls you can get with the clothes you can design for them (all included in the pack)? If you haven't, I'll see if I can find them online. Saw them in a shop called something like Play by Learning or something like that. They are designed for children her age to design clothes etc.

GhostOfPsychomum5 · 30/06/2009 21:36

I can kind of see you point...I too think the dress is too old for a 7yr old.

however

too much control means a rebellious child later so you need to let certain things go (ie, this dress altho too 'old', is a decent length and covers everything up) and come down harder on things like short (indecent) skirts and high heels with metal spikes (like I am trying to educate my DDs about!)

the t-shirt is ok.

and primark clothing...you are gonna lose that battle soon enough anyway once she is able to go shopping with her friends.

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:38

With my dd morningpaper I dont have much choice, she spends hours designing clothes, collecting pictures of clothes she likes and making things with me.

Both me and her father are fashion people, he works in fashion and I have always been into my clothes and made my own, it was bound to happen

OP posts:

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:40

I am sure I will loose the Primark battle when she is older, but at the moment she understands why we have the rules we do. She is very fairtrade aware, nags me in the supermarket if I don't buy fair trade.

OP posts:

SomeGuy · 30/06/2009 21:40

Sometimes a tongue is just a tongue.
Story of it here:
www.artdaily.org/index.asp?int_sec=11&int_new=25883

Nothing to say it's about oral sex at all.

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:42

I never thought it was about oral sex tbh, I just thought it was in poor taste and brattish.

OP posts:

Original poster

flatcapandpearls · 30/06/2009 21:42

sorry lose the battle.

OP posts:

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