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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to regret giving my dd a gay packed lunch?

518 replies

pointydog · 30/06/2009 20:35

Dd1 (12) was off on a fun school trip today with a mix of kids from high school.

I suggested a few things for her packed lunch this morning and she went off happily with a peanut butter sandwich, a fruitus bar, a kitkat, some dried apricots, a tub of home-made muesli and a bag of chipsticks.

The tuff kids laughed at her lunch - snorting particularly loudly at the apricots - and called it gay.

I feel like the mum in About A Boy.

OP posts:
harleyd · 02/07/2009 11:52

on the flip side, ive heard 'you're so straight' loads lately too
have had to pull ds1 a few times in the last couple of weeks for certain phrases he was using

wow lenin 35 weeks last time i spoke to you you had ages to go!

daftpunk · 02/07/2009 11:52

you'll need to set up your own fan club soon LG...

TrillianAstrahasaJOB · 02/07/2009 12:04

Not much to say but wanted to post support for 'gay' not being an insult. And congrats on pregnancy LG (I know you're ages along now but hope you still like being congratulated )

fishie · 02/07/2009 12:13

of course we care lg, it is really important. respect for others is a pretty basic thing and i am horrified that so many on this thread would think otherwise.

and i also like hatwoman's point of 16.43, there's no big deal about 'telling' children about this for me.

stillstanding · 02/07/2009 12:24

harleyd, do you think "straight" is used here as in the opposite of gay?

I don't accept for a minute that the word gay used as an insult doesn't have an underlying homosexual meaning whether or not the user is aware or not but I'm not so sure straight is the same.

If someone called me straight I think I would take it as straight-laced or conventional and wouldn't see a sexuality reference underlying it but perhaps I am being naive?

Rubyrubyrubyinthegame · 02/07/2009 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrmIrian · 02/07/2009 12:51

agree stillstanding. 'straight' means boring, square I would say.

harleyd · 02/07/2009 12:55

yeah stillstanding...its being used round here atm in the same way as 'thats so gay', tho possibly more in a sarcastic way..and perhaps taking the piss out of those who use 'thats so gay'

i know that theres no underlying insult really, compared to the gay phrase

ds1 actually called a pizza gay last week because it had mushrooms on it ??..which resulted in a conversation about how stupid people made themselves look when they used words incorrectly
i also pulled him for calling one of his mates a retard..even tho he thought he was joking around..makes my blood boil

poshsinglemum · 02/07/2009 13:55

When I was teaching, all the kids called each other gay as a derogatory term and anything lame was also called gay. I don't like it at all.

LeninGrad · 02/07/2009 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daftpunk · 02/07/2009 16:03

hey LG...must be a pretty wild place you work at if they haven't noticed a pregnant lesbian!...any jobs going?

bumptwitknocker · 02/07/2009 16:05

I just don't like peanut butter sandwiches, and find dried apricots boring. The rest is alright though. Not hugely exciting, but not 'gay'.

LeninGrad · 02/07/2009 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViktoriaMac · 02/07/2009 16:40

LG - Alan Duncan - oh yes, my friend used to go out with him, but in true MP style AD ended up with not just a constituency home and a London home, but also a constituency boyfriend and a London boyfriend. Boo.

LeninGrad · 02/07/2009 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsGuyofGisbourne · 02/07/2009 17:02

HAve not read the whole thread, but YABU to gieve her such a carbo loaded lunch how about more protein (tiny bit only in peanut butter) and some fresh fruit...

Original poster
pointydog · 02/07/2009 17:14

fuckn ell, guy . Do you really want me to answer, you pass-remarkable --wazz-?

OP posts:
Original poster
pointydog · 02/07/2009 17:14

oh bum

pass remarkable wazz

not the same, is it

OP posts:
MissSunny · 02/07/2009 18:12

Message withdrawn

stillstanding · 02/07/2009 18:33

We are concentrating on the thread, MissSunny - it's you who isn't.

And you're obfuscating. At the time of your post the thread was discussing the use of the word gay as an insult and your post was on the same subject.

babyphat · 02/07/2009 18:36

MissSunny, bi and trans

ladylush · 02/07/2009 19:26

Ds (just turned 5) came home the other night and said "Oh that's sooooo gay". I was totally flabbergasted initially, then quite angry and sad. So young to be learning such bigoted language. I told him not to say it again. Then I got "why" - repeatedly. First I said, "cos it's rude and offensive". The whys continued. Then he wanted to know what gay means. So I told him. And I asked him how he would feel if someone mocked his colour or something else personal about him that he can't change. Told him we are all equal but different. He soon got the message and agreed it was offensive. He picked it up from another boy in his class. Very sad that kids in Reception are using these kind of homophobic insults.

LeninGrad · 02/07/2009 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stillstanding · 02/07/2009 19:56

LG, I understand from some of the posts above that it started as something from South Park - is that right?

I do agree with some of the posters here that a lot of the kids using it do not mean it as a homophobic insult. I think making people (children and it appears adults too) aware of the offence caused by using it is the key way to solve this issue and I would hope that it will die down albeit not as quickly as we would hope. The vast majority of the people on this thread needed no convincing that it was offensive and wouldn't let their children use it. I suspect that - as others suggested above - other lingo (hopefully inoffensive but we can only hope) will replace it over time. Hopefully sooner rather than later if parents and teachers step in.

BarrelOfMonkeys · 02/07/2009 20:33

Definitely not right that it started with South Park. It was around when I was at school about 15 years ago, which pre-dates South Park.