to be angry with those parents who have let down their overweight dc

[frumplump]

Overweight parents who allow their own issues to destroy their own dc's good health, what are they thinking?

I overheard a heartbreaking conversation in a shop where an awkwardly fat teenage shop assistant was dispairing at how she was wasting the best years of her life because she had not learned to eat healthily from her parents.

She was saying she had low self esteem and wanted to lose weight desperately. Teenage girls have a difficult time at the best of times, it's just plain cruelty for her parents to have allowed her to become so unhealthily big. She found walking difficult ffs! They say parents will outlive their children. What's going on? How can parents be so cruel?

oooo Ivy you mean I'll get another chance in 30yrs time to see if anyone can actually teach me to swim properly LOL.

Aww FAQ dont be . I can eat that stuff without worrying about putting on loads of weight but I would feel crap. But if I did eat cakes all day i wouldnt eat anything else IYSWIM.

Blimey even if I didnt put on weight can you imagine what I would look like if thats all I ate - ick.

I am really trying to eat healthy again. I can live on a packet of crisps and 5 cups of tea a day if I want to. Its not much of a talent and horribly bad for you. I have spent quite a lot of my life being really tired. I am sure thats down to dreadful eating habits. But people assume I eat fruit and salad all day (apart from the ones who assume I throw up everything I eat).

only if you move up here

Go and see if you can get the boys in swimming for free? At least it is a good way to cool down next week if nothing else.

.

OP YANBU and I can totally empathise with the shop assistant.

no - DS3 still gets hysterical if the water isn't at least warm, and I don't like taking 3 non-swimmers swimming on my own - even if DH were to come I'm still not comfortable as DS1 and 2 will need individual supervision (as one is only 2, and the other going through a pita 5yr manic stage) - and DS1 would want to go splashing at the shallow end of the big pool...

• I'll just stand them in the garden and put the hosepipe on them

Right - I shall be round to your garden, I love the hosepipe soaking and as I can't cycle did I say I slipped over - walking is dangerous

Obesity is the thing that is out there for all to see , which makes parents an easy target.I am sure we could pick holes on m ost peoples parenting if all 'sins' were as obvious.

yes but most parenting techniques don't have such longterm negative health effects, whether you agree with them or not.

Yeah right: because physical, sexual or mental abuse don't have long term effects

'You wouldn't believe the number of parents that upon receiving the result of their child's growth screening which tells them their child is overweight and please call me if they would like help, support and advice just phone me to tell me to fuck off and mind my own business.'

I got ready to post this quote and then read riven's post-I fully agree with it.
This confirms my belief that the help is there and all people have to do is pick up the phone-this must be easy enough, as they seem to be able to pick up the phone to be rude!
Anyone with this attitude should read Hecate's posts and take the help.

They all have long term affects shithappens! You don't need to compare-just get help.

I knew it was a mistake coming back to this thread. I spent yesterday in tears because of the comments on here.

'getting help' consists of the doctor saying eat less excercise more. as if I hadn't thought of that. as if I hadn't spent my whole life trying and failing.

If you go and discuss it properly and say in advance that you want a long appointment I am sure that you would get practical help SH. If your GP can't or won't do this ask to be referred.
Go to a slimming club-you get wonderful support from caring people. I have just got down to my goal weight and lost 2 stone-the person who runs it couldn't be nicer, everyone is friendly.
Go for a walk everyday-it is free.
The help is there but you have to want to do it.

Hecate shows how difficult it is for an adult and perhaps I am being too simple-however people owe it to their DCs not to continue the pattern with them.

I agree that if people don't like making phone calls it is difficult but if someone is phoning to say 'fuck off, mind your own business' it would be much easier to say 'I got your letter and would like some advice.'
I couldn't possibly do the first-I wouldn't have the nerve (and am not as rude)

well no I couldn't do the first - but there's a massive mental barrier to be crossed if you get a phone call telling you there's a problem to then immediately asking/accepting help.

Also to many people a school nurse will be seen as "authority" "nanny state" etc - it's "official" and there are lots of people that have issues with talking to "official" people.

That's OK-I never preview either. I can understand your point FAQ but if a person doesn't have an issue about picking up the phone to be mind bogglingly rude they should be able to pick it up and politely listen to what the other person has to say.

I think that I am making out that it is too easy to lose weight-of course it isn't and there are lots of different reasons why people are overweight. There is also a lot of failure at slimming clubs. I am very much 'start a diet on Monday-give up on Tuesday!'

However a DC eats what you give them and get their eating patterns from you so it is important to get it right. It is just as bad to go the other way and keep the poor little things on rice cakes and water! Food should be enjoyable and not an issue.If the general, day to day diet is good you don't have to worry about birthday junk or the odd sweet.

lol @ start on monday give up on Tuesday .

I think what I'm trying to say it's ok to pick the phone up, NOT ok to be rude, but it can be hard for someone to take advice/help immidiately over the phone without having had a chance to sort their own mind out about there being a problem and needing help with it.

But aren't we talking about two different things here. FAQ and shithappens are reminding us how very difficult it is to ask for help when it comes to ourselves. But the OP was about parents who don't help their children to a healthy weight. Surely that makes all the difference?

I am quite bad at looking after myself- but when it comes to dd I will walk through fire for her.

cory - well the OP specificialy said overweight parents of overweight children - so in that sense no.

And besides - just because you're slim and you're children are overweight doesn't mean you don't also have the same mental barriers to cross in getting help